» Kids

Kids say the darndest things
A friend of mine is a big beefy guy, and he happens to be black. One day, he went down to the grocery store. A kid of about four who was in the store pointed at my friend and said to his father, "Look daddy, it's a big poo!"
(Sat 19th Apr 2008, 7:33, More)

» Shit Stories: Part Number Two

When I was a kid
I had this kid's cookbook thing. In this cookbook it had a recipe for something called "Rainbow Milk", which sounded absolutely intriguing. It was basically a glass of milk with a bit of vanilla essence and some food colouring in it.

In my 8-year-old mind, I had visions of milk which was actually made of rainbows and tasted like candy. So I made some. I used a few squirts of blue food colouring initially, and it turned bright blue. Then I used the pink, and that made it a dark purple colour. I was confused as to why the colours seemed to merge, forming a new colour, rather than staying separated like the colours of the rainbow. Undeterred, I added the green food colouring. Now the concoction was a vile brown colour. I was still confused, and tried adding more of the food colouring, but this just made it worse. This was not the Rainbow Milk that I had envisaged by a long shot. But I drank it anyway.

Subsequently, my excreta was the colour of cartoon toxic waste. It was a bright fluorescent green. I wondered if this explained why the water in the sewers in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles was bright green.
(Sat 29th Mar 2008, 8:10, More)