» Customers from Hell

Sorry for the shit quality, but fp n all
I'm an electrician so I meet quite a few people in their own surroundings. This leads to quite a few annoyances, especially when you hate people, but I'll just stick to toilet related stories so i can carry on at my convenience.

My dad and myself arrived at a house having an extension built, this day there happened to be the builders, the plumbers, carpenters and ourselves on site, so loads of blokes at this house with only the one toilet inside the house. Literally 2 minutes after we arrived, the lady of the house comes storming out of the house with a mop and bucket demanding to know who had pissed on the floor of the bathroom and that they immediately clean it up. Fair enough, someone did piss on the floor, and not a little bit either we were informed, ALOT.
Nobody claimed to have used the bathroom this morning.
So she starts demanding everybody leave the house NOW and not to bother coming back. Cue her husband calling her aside rather sheepishly, little chat and much thrusting of mop and bucket in husband's direction followed by wife storming off and husband following. HE had pissed all over the floor and left this yellow sea on the tiles.

Whilst changing a light fitting in one of the plentiful and widespread toilet facilities in a large office building, above the gents urinals if you must know, a rather nice, ungreasy and polite chap barges past the out of order sign the cleaners have kindly put up outside the door for us, over my toolbox and proceeds to unzip and start having a slash right underneath my ladder, in the torchlight.
My cries of "Mate! We're working here! Can't you go to the ones round the corner?" are met with the guy just turning round mid stream to say "It's alwight mate, I'll be done in a second."
If only I had the balls to "accidentally" drop my battery driver on the guys head! Alas no.

There's also the occasional job where you get a customer following you around their house whilst you work; making sure you don't steal anything, damage their floorboards, put their underwear on your head etc etc.
This can be rather off putting at times, especially when the nice old guy is regaling you with stories of his misspent youth and national service "oh how they should bring it back!" (They should by the way). All of a sudden there's an awful smell, like bigfoot's dick crossed with the back of a kebab shop. It isn't me, this i'm fairly certain of, and the guy hasn't stopped for breath so he can't have smelt it yet. He was rabbiting for at least five minutes with me gagging and trying not to say anything before he said he had to dash, and looking up as he left the room, sure enough, there was a lovely brown stain on his trousers!
I was so glad he gave the cheque to my dad!

Length? 15cm and spreading.
(Mon 8th Sep 2008, 20:49, More)