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- a member for 5 years, 1 month and 22 days
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- has posted 14 stories and 31 replies on question of the week
- They liked 244 pictures, 0 links, 0 talk posts, and 22 qotw answers.
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» Mobile phone disasters
The Who
One girl I know had the 'Hope I die before I get old' bit from My Generation by The Who on her mobile.
Unfortunately, it went off while she was having an abortion.
(Sun 2nd Aug 2009, 7:10, More)
The Who
One girl I know had the 'Hope I die before I get old' bit from My Generation by The Who on her mobile.
Unfortunately, it went off while she was having an abortion.
(Sun 2nd Aug 2009, 7:10, More)
» The B3TA Confessional
To: Benedict XVI
Dear Joe
You know how you have those embarrassing moments when you go to children's hospitals?
On those days, I put viagra in your breakfast cereal.
Cardinal Badass
(Fri 27th Aug 2010, 10:51, More)
To: Benedict XVI
Dear Joe
You know how you have those embarrassing moments when you go to children's hospitals?
On those days, I put viagra in your breakfast cereal.
Cardinal Badass
(Fri 27th Aug 2010, 10:51, More)
» Presents
I have several nieces, nephews. All the children of vehement religious zealots.
Every year I buy them documentaries, such as David Attenborough's nature documentaries. No toys, only the education I know that they won't receive otherwise. I take my responsibilities as an uncle quite seriously.
Alternatively, I also suggest:
www.miamiherald.com/dave_barry/gift-guide/story/782141.html
It's from last year, but has some nice suggestions, such as butt glue, a Zombie Yard Sculpture, and The Uroclub - a golf club you can urinate into, for emergencies on the golf course.
(Fri 27th Nov 2009, 13:34, More)
I have several nieces, nephews. All the children of vehement religious zealots.
Every year I buy them documentaries, such as David Attenborough's nature documentaries. No toys, only the education I know that they won't receive otherwise. I take my responsibilities as an uncle quite seriously.
Alternatively, I also suggest:
www.miamiherald.com/dave_barry/gift-guide/story/782141.html
It's from last year, but has some nice suggestions, such as butt glue, a Zombie Yard Sculpture, and The Uroclub - a golf club you can urinate into, for emergencies on the golf course.
(Fri 27th Nov 2009, 13:34, More)
» Prejudice
Men with long hair.
This is the last acceptable prejudice. People do not hesitate to believe that a man with long hair must be unemployed or unemployable.
A man with long hair cannot be an executive or any higher management position unless he owns the company.
I've known women to accept this situation and believe it is morally acceptable, while they complain about the glass ceiling.
If a man grows his hair longer than usual, he loses 1 IQ point for every cm.
(Mon 5th Apr 2010, 3:38, More)
Men with long hair.
This is the last acceptable prejudice. People do not hesitate to believe that a man with long hair must be unemployed or unemployable.
A man with long hair cannot be an executive or any higher management position unless he owns the company.
I've known women to accept this situation and believe it is morally acceptable, while they complain about the glass ceiling.
If a man grows his hair longer than usual, he loses 1 IQ point for every cm.
(Mon 5th Apr 2010, 3:38, More)
» Letters they'll never read
Dear People of Britain
We are now poorer than the Czechs. We were complacent. Our economy was fucked and all we did was to sit around and moan about politicians.
Our personal debt was the highest in the world. Our government debt was huge and our corporate sector was insanely based on banking. Our government was borrowing 13% of GDP to maintain the budget! And we were more interested in football than our futures.
Did we get involved in politics, did we take to the streets, did we try to get change before the cataclysm? No. All we did was sit around drinking tea and beer and hoped all the problems went away. It was only when the financial disasters hit us that we got off our backsides, but by then it was too late. Like the Icelanders we only started to protest once the thing had collapsed.
I wish I could send this back in time. I wish you knew what the future had in store for us. But I figure, even if you did know, you wouldn't have done anything anyway.
We were smug and self-satisfied, but not anymore.
(Tue 9th Mar 2010, 13:15, More)
Dear People of Britain
We are now poorer than the Czechs. We were complacent. Our economy was fucked and all we did was to sit around and moan about politicians.
Our personal debt was the highest in the world. Our government debt was huge and our corporate sector was insanely based on banking. Our government was borrowing 13% of GDP to maintain the budget! And we were more interested in football than our futures.
Did we get involved in politics, did we take to the streets, did we try to get change before the cataclysm? No. All we did was sit around drinking tea and beer and hoped all the problems went away. It was only when the financial disasters hit us that we got off our backsides, but by then it was too late. Like the Icelanders we only started to protest once the thing had collapsed.
I wish I could send this back in time. I wish you knew what the future had in store for us. But I figure, even if you did know, you wouldn't have done anything anyway.
We were smug and self-satisfied, but not anymore.
(Tue 9th Mar 2010, 13:15, More)