» Customers from Hell

Dear oh dear................. where to begin?
I worked in retail for 9 years. In that time you come to despise the general public, mainly 'cause each one thinks they are the centre of the universe.

1)We had cash machines that kept breaking down (swallowing cards by shutting down and running a test cycle). SO I used to put up signs when they were particularly bad saying do not use out of order. Some silly twunt would come up puffing and inignant demanding we "get his card back cos that machine took it". Never mind that he took the O.O sign off himself.

2)We had a new girl on the CSD and a women comes up complaining that she has been charged for cottage cheese that she hasnt bought. This is very unlikely - the till doesnt make up stuff it has to come from somewhere. So the new girl asks to take a look at the womans shopping bags to try and work out what happened. The woman goes ape screaming a the girl and tips the bag upside down on the counter, shouting " I'm not stupid I know what I bought give me my money back!". A reduced tub of cottage cheese rolls out spins round ominously and stops in front of me. I hold it up to her in the manner of a lawyer demolishing a witness with a piece of evidence. Demanded an apology on the new girls behalf but didnt get one.

3) Your not supposed to sell more than 2 packs of paracetamol tablets to a single customer. This of course means there is nothing to stop them buying different lots through different cashiers. A couple came up with two trolley loads - whole price eventually came to around £400. Only prob was they had about 8-10 packs of paracetamol. I explained that legaly I couldnt sell them, the reason we were always told was thewt you needed to be apharmacist to sell them in large quantaties. Couple wernt happy so manager was duley sent for, who explaind the issue. The wife demands to buy them as she suffers from a lot of headaches and doesnt want to keep buying two at a time. Then she says if she doesnt get what she wants sh's leaving the entire transaction and shopping elsewhere. Manager decides to let them have them. As she walks away I scan them and the guy pays up. "I fucked your guvnor royally" he gurns. I hand his reciept back and point out that a) the store had just sold £400 worth of goods. b)if they had walked off we would have had to put all that shopping back c) if they did decide on a joint suicide pack I dont think anyone was going to shed a tear.

4)The guy who came in one xmas eve about ten mins before the store shut and asked where our turkeys were. I explained that we had none left, the guy then launchs in to one. "what fuckin use is that?" he asks. I explain that we dont get any more deliveries about 3 days beforehand because if they dont sell before xmas they end up being reduced to pittence after. "Thats no good" he cries " its bad management!" and storms out.
What this guy thought was that at last knockings on xmas eve we would have amountain of turkeys left and we would be selling them off cheap. Im guessing egg and chips all round at his the next day.
(Tue 9th Sep 2008, 21:01, More)