» Cougars and Sugar Daddies

I was 16 and she was 48
My History teacher. To be quite frank she was a total dog, looked like the result of an acid attack ya know. No one would touch her with a barge pole, not that I look at the outside appearance or anything.

All through GCSE history I'd try and get in her pants with all the suarve charm of a spotty 16 year old, stealing looks down her top, calling her gorgeous instead of "Yes Miss" when she handed my homework back**, playing footsie as her desk was directly infront of mine. You know, all them guaranteed courting techniques

Didn't work though did it. I got shunned 10 times a lesson.

**If I was lucky I'd get a D or an E on said homework. Bitch!
(Sat 6th Dec 2008, 5:17, More)

» Cringe!

Ooops
So I'm on the phone to British Gas, trying to get my meter changed from a key meter to a normal one. I jump through hoops for the computerised lady who wants to me to press 1 for this and 2 for that and 3 if I'm considering the use of the phone cord as a vehicle for suicide etc. I get to the end of the questions where the computerised lady kindly informs me that she is transferring me now.

~1 second of silence~

~beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeepppppppppppppppppppp~

Assuming I'd been cut off, since that is the normal tone for when you have been cut off, I screamed "nice transfer you fucking bint!"

Only to hear "Hello my name is Sean, how can I..... uhhh help"
(Thu 4th Dec 2008, 9:40, More)