» Banks

Credit
In addition to my previous post about student credit cards, my card of 9 years was recently cancelled. I asked them why, and they said it was because I always paid it on time (the only interest I ever paid was the 19p they charged me by mistake - but I couldn't be arsed to argue).

So basically, I was costing them money by always paying on time, so they closed the account with 2 days notice. I couldn't really argue though - I actually felt a bit guilty for inconveniencing them...
(Wed 22nd Jul 2009, 1:18, More)

» Bullies

Fat nerd
Between the ages of 5 and 8 I had a boyfriend and loads of friends. Maybe it was the grown-up patent shoes that converted into slip-ons in a single swivel of the strap, or my Alacarte Kitchen and post-office-in-a-suitcase... anyway, I was popular. Then one by one, over the course of a year, all but one of my friends left for other schools (and in many cases, other countries).

The bullying soon started, with one illiterate scumbag called Louise pushing me into a nettle filled ditch and punching me in the face.

Then, when I started puberty a couple of years later I grew boobs and put on a lot of weight in a short space of time. I was accused of stuffing my bra, called a variety of fat-themed names and they also made up songs about me. It got worse through high school, as they taunted me for my decent grades (how is 'boffin' an insult exactly?), my accent and my weight.

I developed a very efficient way to deal with name-calling: When they called out "oi fatty", I would turn to them, grin, wave enthusiastically and say "hello!" in a cheery voice. This confuses and angers them at first, but after a while they just give up.

Of the resident gang of bitches, Katherine was the worst. 5 foot 8 of amateur make-up and straightened bleached hair. She was at least 2 sizes bigger than me, but at 10 inches taller it was easier to hide (so she still mocked me for my weight). She slammed my head into a coat-hook and started a rumour that I was a lesbian...

Anyway, I digress.

Years later, size 10 with a great job and happily married, I tracked down many of the bitches through myspace and facebook. For the most part the bitches are now fat, haggard single mothers. The icing on the cake was Katherine's former boyfriend tracking me down to ask me on a date - apologising for being horrible to me at school because he didn't want Katherine to beat him up.

These people blighted my childhood, but at least now I can rejoice in their misery. That's healthy, isn't it? :D
(Sun 17th May 2009, 16:22, More)

» Banks

Boring rant
I've had an Abbey credit card since I was 19. I signed up for it at a student fair, and I was accepted even though I didn't have a bank account. I used it cautiously, paying every bill in full immediately.

When I tried to open a bank account with Abbey several years later, they said I couldn't open one without a regular wage, because I was a risk. I informed them that they had given me a credit card already (which you would think would be a higher risk), and they told me that was impossible without a bank account. Yeah, I imagined the credit card in my wallet... In the meantime they kept sending me spam offering me credit cards when they had already given me one.

A year later I went back and they gave me a bank account, with one of those shitty electron cards.

Bastards.

Also, my friend (who used to work for a mortgage company) told me that you have more chance of getting a mortgage if you already have debts, because "they don't trust people who don't owe any money". Banks suck donkey balls.
(Tue 21st Jul 2009, 19:34, More)

» Buses

Not funny, but slightly interesting...
I was waiting for a bus... It was about 10-15 yards away when it passed a side-road. A BMW came out of the road, the bus hit it - and the front bumper of the car was torn off. Shards of plastic were flung all over the road and pavement. The bus seemed unaffected and carried on going - when it stopped I checked the side of it and there was barely a scratch! The driver reported it and just continued with his route as normal.

The car screeched off at high speed, and we found out afterwards that it was being chased by police - apparently the car was being driven by a bunch of crooks who were then caught, arrested and convicted for a string of local robberies.

Interesting day.
(Thu 25th Jun 2009, 21:09, More)

» Unexpected Nudity

Do they show everyone, or just me?
There's something about me that attracts strange people...

Anyway, to date I have seen 2 random todgers in the pub (mainly showing off piercings and tattoos), numerous festival-bush-dwelling willies and 2 old ladies' mimsies. One mimsy belonged to a strange lady who liked to sit on a park bench and flash at people, and the other was hanging from a lovely old dear at my Grandad's rest home (she likes to walk around naked).

I suppose that's not a lot, really - but there's still time.
(Tue 2nd Jun 2009, 23:18, More)