» Nights Out Gone Wrong

o dear
My tolerance to alcohol is pretty low to start with. I'd been on tour with my band and (being vegetarian) hadn't eaten anything proper for about 3 days. All was going well-ish until someone asked if I wanted to swap my 2 litre bottle of coke for a bottle of vodka? Yes. I did.
Sadly I now had no mixer. But no worries. I drank the vodka straight. I then played a gig (not too badly but rather fast but video evidence proves that nothing I said between songs made any sense whatsoever...). I came off stage to collapse at the bottom of the steps in a pile of my own (pretty much pure vodka) sick.
I woke up a day later in bed having apparently been carried out by bouncers who thought I'd taken some naughty drugs, been taken away by an ambulance (apparently John Peel got in the back of the ambulance at one point to check I was okay - my only meeting with the man and I missed it...) - the ambulance worked out I was just stupidly drunk and sent me home. OUCH!
The only other time I had an ambulance called out on me was on the top of a hill in Brighton. I was fighting drunk and refused to get in the ambulance and lay on the floor. My boyfriend at the time asked the ambulance drivers what he should do. They told him 'she's too drunk and she's too fat - we'd dump her if we were you mate'. I tried to roll the 2 miles home at this point (well we were on the top of a hill - I figured I could pick up momentum and roll all the way home...)
I guess that's enough shame for one post.
(Sat 26th Mar 2011, 19:55, More)

» Creepy!

amityville horror (ish)
You know when the little girl sees the devil in Amityville Horror & it's a little pig called Jodie that appears at the window with red glowing eyes? Well one day I was in my room (on the 5th floor) & I see those red eyes at my window...BIG HEARTY BANG BANG SHIVERY UPSY DOWNSY SCARESY URKSINESS! But then I just thought to myself 'well this is it - I'm just going to accept it - I'm not getting into all that running around hiding in closets that get hacked down/ running into basements that have something even worse in blah blah blah' so I calmly walked towards the 2 glowing eyes of the devil. And realized it was the reflection in the window of the video player behind me on it's neutral flashing - - setting.
doh!
(Thu 7th Apr 2011, 22:57, More)

» The Police II

I'M A BAD MOTHERFUCKER!
I was 14 years old and skipping happily across Kentish Town Road when a policelady grabbed me by the scruff of the neck and flung me up against a plate-glass chip shop window (much to the gaping chip-buying queue's delight). She proceeded to search me thoroughly plus my bag and phoned in a check on my name and address (while holding me firmly in place against the window with the other hand).
After (what seemed a looooooong) while she let me go. What had I done you may ask? Crossed the road when the little green man hadn't told me to yet. Up until then I'd wanted to be a policelady when I grew up but that kinda changed my mind.
(Sat 7th May 2011, 14:08, More)

» Expensive Weekends

expensive weekend? expensive year! a cautionary tale.
Okay to you maybe it's not much money but I only work part-time and for the first time in my life I'd actually managed to save up some money. Over the course of a year I managed to stash about £760.
Took it to the bank - paid it in over the counter - sorted.
Except they lost it.
Won't even talk to me about it!
Really don't recommend banking with Santander...
(Thu 13th May 2010, 18:24, More)