Profile for Astatine:
Slightly warped beer-sodden old geek.
Recent front page messages:
Best answers to questions:
- a member for 10 years, 6 months and 2 days
- has posted 4372 messages on the main board
- (of which 8 have appeared on the front page)
- has posted 12 messages on the talk board
- has posted 9 messages on the links board
- (including 6 links)
- has posted 8 stories and 14 replies on question of the week
- They liked 2626 pictures, 8 links, 1 talk posts, and 70 qotw answers.
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Slightly warped beer-sodden old geek.
Recent front page messages:
Iwo Jima: The Untold Story.
Cute furry animals in the US military isn't a recent development. In fact, it's as old as bandwagon-jumping...
(Fri 21st Feb 2003, 1:52, More)
Cute furry animals in the US military isn't a recent development. In fact, it's as old as bandwagon-jumping...
(Fri 21st Feb 2003, 1:52, More)
Best answers to questions:
» Sexual fetishes
Went 'round to visit some friends on a quiet Sunday afternoon.
Social call, cup of tea, natter about things and stuff.
The friend's girlfriend turns up half an hour later with a cheery looking border collie in tow. She says it's followed her home. Looking at the thing, it's obviously a well-kept critter - nails clipped, shiny coat and all that - but it doesn't have a collar or anything to help find its owner. A search party trawls a couple of nearby streets for someone looking for an escaped dog, to no avail. So my friends pop a collar and lead on it, and take it to wherever the police say you're supposed to take lost dogs in the hope that their owner will be looking.
I'm half-way home when I realise that neither my friend nor his girlfriend have ever owned a dog.
(Sun 25th Oct 2009, 13:17, More)
Went 'round to visit some friends on a quiet Sunday afternoon.
Social call, cup of tea, natter about things and stuff.
The friend's girlfriend turns up half an hour later with a cheery looking border collie in tow. She says it's followed her home. Looking at the thing, it's obviously a well-kept critter - nails clipped, shiny coat and all that - but it doesn't have a collar or anything to help find its owner. A search party trawls a couple of nearby streets for someone looking for an escaped dog, to no avail. So my friends pop a collar and lead on it, and take it to wherever the police say you're supposed to take lost dogs in the hope that their owner will be looking.
I'm half-way home when I realise that neither my friend nor his girlfriend have ever owned a dog.
(Sun 25th Oct 2009, 13:17, More)
» I don't understand the attraction
Schoolgirls. Or, to be more precise, fantasies about schoolgirls.
What the holy living fuck is going on with that? If there's one thing I learnt at school, schoolgirls are the nearest thing to a living incarnation of evil on this planet; their concentrated malevolence is mitigated only by the fact that they are typically as lumpenly pig-ignorant as schoolboys. Who in their right mind would want their genitals anywhere near that?
What sort of crazy would you have to be to be turned on by the thought of a schoolgirl? For sanity's sake, leave 'em a few years to grow into a woman's body, and hopefully connect enough braincells together to be capable of some semblance of human empathy.
(Sat 17th Oct 2009, 2:22, More)
Schoolgirls. Or, to be more precise, fantasies about schoolgirls.
What the holy living fuck is going on with that? If there's one thing I learnt at school, schoolgirls are the nearest thing to a living incarnation of evil on this planet; their concentrated malevolence is mitigated only by the fact that they are typically as lumpenly pig-ignorant as schoolboys. Who in their right mind would want their genitals anywhere near that?
What sort of crazy would you have to be to be turned on by the thought of a schoolgirl? For sanity's sake, leave 'em a few years to grow into a woman's body, and hopefully connect enough braincells together to be capable of some semblance of human empathy.
(Sat 17th Oct 2009, 2:22, More)
» Walkman Flashbacks
Baby I Ain't Foolin'
Way back when this were all fields, and I was a student, I shared a house with - amongst other long-haired reprobates - a couple who insisted on shagging as loud as possible. Maybe it really was that exciting, maybe they were showing off. Who knows?
One afternoon a couple of housemates and I were nattering on the landing when a familiar sequence of panting, grunting and thumping noises drifted down from the attic. We blinked, looked at each other, and realised that it sounded not entirely unlike the rude noises in the middle of Led Zeppelin's Whole Lotta Love. In the interests of Science, we queued a tape of Led Zep II up to the appropriate moment on a handy ghetto blaster, cranked it as loud as possible and waited until they noticed.
I can no longer hear that song again without hearing the pounding stop, a woman yell "BAAASSSTAAAARRRDS!" down the stairs at us, and a bunch of hairy rockers giggling uncontrollably.
(Wed 30th Mar 2005, 1:26, More)
Baby I Ain't Foolin'
Way back when this were all fields, and I was a student, I shared a house with - amongst other long-haired reprobates - a couple who insisted on shagging as loud as possible. Maybe it really was that exciting, maybe they were showing off. Who knows?
One afternoon a couple of housemates and I were nattering on the landing when a familiar sequence of panting, grunting and thumping noises drifted down from the attic. We blinked, looked at each other, and realised that it sounded not entirely unlike the rude noises in the middle of Led Zeppelin's Whole Lotta Love. In the interests of Science, we queued a tape of Led Zep II up to the appropriate moment on a handy ghetto blaster, cranked it as loud as possible and waited until they noticed.
I can no longer hear that song again without hearing the pounding stop, a woman yell "BAAASSSTAAAARRRDS!" down the stairs at us, and a bunch of hairy rockers giggling uncontrollably.
(Wed 30th Mar 2005, 1:26, More)