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Profile for Fucking hell Jeff:
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» Books

Not a recommendation of any book or author but from 1999 – 2001 I worked for Amazon.
Each week we would have a meeting to review transcripts of customer complaints so we could identify ways to make the site and the customer service better.

This is a rough recollection of one complaint:

Customer: “I ordered a set of books on opera for my elderly father”

Call centre op’: “may I take your order number please”

Customer: “It’s a disgrace”

Call centre op’: “I would like to help you, but first I need your order number”

Customer: “It’s filth I tell you. Absolute filth”

Call centre op’: “What is madam?”

Customer: “the smut you’ve sent my father. He has a heart condition you know”

Call centre op’: “I am sorry but you need to tell me more so I can help you”

Customer: “I ordered books on opera you stupid man and your company has sent him pornography. Absolutely disgusting. I am going to contact the press. It’s a disgrace. Why do you sell such degrading filth? He has a heart condition you know”

The call centre op’ realising there has been a miss pick in the warehouse and now thoroughly hacked off with the tirade he is getting from the customer replied: “Imagine how the bloke who got the books on opera felt”
(Fri 6th Jan 2012, 7:39, More)

» My First Experience of the Internet

‘Monetizing the sexual experience’
I’ve mentioned before b3ta.com/questions/books2012/post1489177 that I used to work for Amazon, starting when it was just a books business.

After the .com bubble burst I had to make my team redundant and took redundancy myself. Unsure of what to do next I started to do some consultancy work whilst I looked for a permanent position, so uploaded my CV online.

I received a call from someone who said he worked for an online publishing business and wanted to talk to me about a marketing role for a job based in Barcelona. The company was Private.com (NSFW) – the legal “hardcore version of Playboy”. He asked me if that was a problem for me and if not he’d like to bring me out to Barcelona to spend a day with them to understand more about the business and to be interviewed by their European MD.

Knowing that there was no way I would work for them (it would have had a substantial long term impact on my career) I agreed to go out to meet them purely to have a free trip to one of my favourite cities.

In the meantime he sent me passwords for all of their sites so I could “familiarise myself with the content”. Circulating these to my friends got me several free pints.

On arrival at the offices they gave me a tour. I saw a gang bang being filmed in a studio and various different videos covering genres being edited. Every part of the offices contained serious grot. None of the commercial or technical staff batted an eyelid when talking about content.

I felt a bit sorry for them. I guess if you work in McDonalds the last thing you want to do is to eat a burger and the same principle applied to these people.

My interview with the MD took place in a meeting room with a massive glass cabinet down one wall containing their full range of vibrators, cock rings, symbian machines, anal beads, fisting mittens, butt plugs and kegal balls. An experience I don’t expect to repeat in the rest of my career.

After all that they didn’t offer me the job anyway, but I got a free trip to Barcelona and an extended tour around a porn set in action. Only the internet could have created this opportunity. Thank you Tim Berners Lee.
(Sun 25th Mar 2012, 9:29, More)

» Ignored Advice

Smoking.
I never listened. I wish I had.

Smoking is shit. So is my will power. I have tried the gum, the patches, 'cold turkey', prescription meds, electronic cigarettes, hypnosis, NHS cessation clinics, the fucking lot. Epic fails.

I smoke 30 a day. That's about £11 a day that i set fire to, which is approximately £4k a year out of net income. I stink of tobacco, my wife hates it and at the age of 39 I have smoked for more of my life than I haven't. Even becoming a parent hasn't stopped me (although I would never smoke anywhere near my daughter and never in the house).

We all make mistakes, some of mine have been significant with long term consequences, but out of them all, I wish I had listened to the advice i received and never started smoking.

serious post is serious. Apologies for the lack of... Etc.


(Thu 15th Nov 2012, 19:22, More)

» Lego



(Thu 24th Oct 2013, 15:19, More)

» The Great Outdoors

You're seriously asking a load of shut-in's about what goes on outside?

(Thu 29th Mar 2012, 14:51, More)
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