Hey, it's a living...

(Fri 8th Mar 2013, 12:40, More)

He wasn't happy with his purchase...

(Mon 18th Feb 2013, 17:20, More)

I would also like to express my sorry-ness

(Sun 25th Nov 2012, 17:48, More)

That Andy's a right drama queen...

(Sun 21st Oct 2012, 17:03, More)

FAKE! The shadows are in the wrong positions

(sorry.)
(Wed 7th Dec 2011, 23:55, More)

» Books

We read Of Mice and Men at school
A great book, somewhat tempered by the fact that come chapter 3 or thereabouts, someone had scrawled 'I don't want to spoil all the fun but Lennie gets shot on page 113'.
(Thu 5th Jan 2012, 20:10, More)

» Brain Fade

I work night shifts
and a friend at work had got me one of those black night masks (those velvety blindfold things) to help me sleep during the day.

I took the night mask out of its packet and thought 'Cool! I wonder what I look like while wearing them...' - so I went and stood in front of the bathroom mirror. And put them on.

*headslap*
(Fri 22nd Mar 2013, 12:41, More)

» Clubs, gangs, and societies

Club Nintendo
As a kid I entered a competition in a comic to win a Nintendo Entertainment System (or NES, to you youngsters). Inevitably I didn't win, but I hadn't read the small print on the compo - apparently everyone who entered got a lifetime membership to 'Club Nintendo' which entailed receiving a Club Nintendo Membership Card and a Club Nintendo Magazine every two months full of NES reviews, NES tips and other pro-NES articles (what with it being written by Nintendo themselves).

It's difficult to describe the frustration felt regularly receiving a magazine through the post featuring all the great games available for a console THAT I DIDN'T HAVE.
(Thu 21st Jun 2012, 14:16, More)

» Made me laugh

Being shouted at from a car
I was returning home from the supermarket, holding two full shopping bags, walking alongside a busy road. A car passed by with the passenger window wound down and the young male inside looked at me and shouted:
'Yeah, you'd better hold those bags, mate!'
Well, presumably it made *him* laugh afterwards...
(Thu 6th Dec 2012, 17:59, More)

» Devastating Put-Downs

Lost in the supermarket
Back in my Sainsbury's days I was a lowly shelf-stacker working alongside two not-unattractive womanfriends in their late 30s, Jenny and June. I'd decided to grow a crap beard (it's your right once you hit 21 to try and grow face-fuzz) which I was rubbish at maintaining, sparse in some areas, thick and bristly in others. Jenny had started to call me Jesus because of this unsightly follicular growth.
After a few months of this, I finally came up with a good (well, acceptable) comeback - next time she called me Jesus I'd call her Mary (geddit?) - and looked forward to using it...

And lo, soon I walked past Jenny and June...
Jenny called out "How's it going, Jesus?"
"Fine thanks, how are you... Mary?"
There was a pause. Then June spoke.
"Mary, she ain't..."
(Thu 24th Nov 2011, 19:08, More)