Profile for chaotic_illuminator:
blogtastic... hopefully
Unfortunately, they make me work for money... can't spend ALL day on b3ta...
Wow! I won the nun challenge with this foxy little mover:
Recent front page messages:
Best answers to questions:
[read all their answers]
- a member for 23 years, 1 month and 4 days
- has posted 6713 messages on the main board
- (of which 16 have appeared on the front page)
- has posted 331 messages on the talk board
- has posted 0 messages on the links board
- has posted 8 stories and 0 replies on question of the week
- They liked 1 pictures, 0 links, 0 talk posts, and 5 qotw answers.
- Ignore this user
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blogtastic... hopefully
Unfortunately, they make me work for money... can't spend ALL day on b3ta...
Wow! I won the nun challenge with this foxy little mover:
Recent front page messages:
Houston - we have a problem!
Booster number 3 on the Ostrich Explorer hasn't ignited...
...oh, it's OK... he's off. Good Luck Big Fella!
edit - apologies for limited hummus... just had to get something made to break my photoshopper's block.
(Sun 10th Nov 2002, 18:22, More)
Booster number 3 on the Ostrich Explorer hasn't ignited...
...oh, it's OK... he's off. Good Luck Big Fella!
edit - apologies for limited hummus... just had to get something made to break my photoshopper's block.
(Sun 10th Nov 2002, 18:22, More)
New extremely extreme sport...
...pianochuting. A once in a lifetime experience. Once and only once.
(Sun 3rd Nov 2002, 18:54, More)
...pianochuting. A once in a lifetime experience. Once and only once.
(Sun 3rd Nov 2002, 18:54, More)
This came to me at work today...
I spend too much time working with lightbulbs (although we call them 'lamps')...
(Tue 8th Oct 2002, 22:07, More)
I spend too much time working with lightbulbs (although we call them 'lamps')...
(Tue 8th Oct 2002, 22:07, More)
Today is a good day to dry...
probably been done, and this meme has probably gone cold... sorry.
(Tue 1st Oct 2002, 19:55, More)
probably been done, and this meme has probably gone cold... sorry.
(Tue 1st Oct 2002, 19:55, More)
Presenting the all-new "Hippocopier"...
with optional output collator (shown).
(Mon 26th Aug 2002, 11:45, More)
with optional output collator (shown).
(Mon 26th Aug 2002, 11:45, More)
Harold could never pull down at the Dorsal and Firkin...
The girly-fish never went for his more mature looks.
(Mon 29th Jul 2002, 21:43, More)
The girly-fish never went for his more mature looks.
(Mon 29th Jul 2002, 21:43, More)
My imaginary friend...
or maybe it's my ideal christmas present... was that another challenge option?
(Fri 12th Apr 2002, 16:30, More)
or maybe it's my ideal christmas present... was that another challenge option?
(Fri 12th Apr 2002, 16:30, More)
Don't expect to see this one anytime soon...
Although the domain has been registered by some dodgy sounding bloke in California.
(Fri 8th Feb 2002, 9:52, More)
Although the domain has been registered by some dodgy sounding bloke in California.
(Fri 8th Feb 2002, 9:52, More)
Furtively Warholian...
Not to be seen in Tate Modern... only on b3ta!
(Thu 7th Feb 2002, 16:38, More)
Not to be seen in Tate Modern... only on b3ta!
(Thu 7th Feb 2002, 16:38, More)
Best answers to questions:
» Mini Cabs From Hell
The scariest cab ride I ever took was in Dubai
Very much a London-mini-cab-style experience. Cab turned up, we pile in, and discover that the driver is a huge rastafarian with dub reggae blasting out of the stereo and a big joint on the go.
He's got one hand hanging onto the handle above the door, and the other holding his big fat spliff.
And, er, no hands at all on the steering wheel.
The car's an automatic, so he doesn't need to change gear. He ain't stopping, so he doesn't need the handbrake. And why bother holding the wheeel when you can steer with your knees?
This bastard proceeds to drive us through town and out to where we're going without touching the wheel once with his hands, including navigating a couple of clover-leaf highway junctions.
We thought we were going to die... although the passive smoking took the edge off it.
(Thu 27th May 2004, 14:21, More)
The scariest cab ride I ever took was in Dubai
Very much a London-mini-cab-style experience. Cab turned up, we pile in, and discover that the driver is a huge rastafarian with dub reggae blasting out of the stereo and a big joint on the go.
He's got one hand hanging onto the handle above the door, and the other holding his big fat spliff.
And, er, no hands at all on the steering wheel.
The car's an automatic, so he doesn't need to change gear. He ain't stopping, so he doesn't need the handbrake. And why bother holding the wheeel when you can steer with your knees?
This bastard proceeds to drive us through town and out to where we're going without touching the wheel once with his hands, including navigating a couple of clover-leaf highway junctions.
We thought we were going to die... although the passive smoking took the edge off it.
(Thu 27th May 2004, 14:21, More)
» Clients Are Stupid
I'm a lighting designer
An architect once said to me "we've increased the quantity of skylights in the building (an airport), so you must be able to save a lot of money... we won't need as many lights!"
You will at night, mate. See when that big orange thing goes below the horizon...
zeppelin.
(Sun 28th Dec 2003, 23:02, More)
I'm a lighting designer
An architect once said to me "we've increased the quantity of skylights in the building (an airport), so you must be able to save a lot of money... we won't need as many lights!"
You will at night, mate. See when that big orange thing goes below the horizon...
zeppelin.
(Sun 28th Dec 2003, 23:02, More)
» Useless Information
Johnny Cash was the first American to know that Stalin was dead.
He was in the army and was monitoring Russian radio broadcasts.
(Sat 19th Mar 2005, 18:11, More)
Johnny Cash was the first American to know that Stalin was dead.
He was in the army and was monitoring Russian radio broadcasts.
(Sat 19th Mar 2005, 18:11, More)
» The Worst Journey in the World
Dubai.
A colleague and I, a few years ago. We come out of the place in town we'd had a meeting, and there's a taxi rank right next door outside a shopping mall.
It's July in Dubai... very hot, very humid. Not comfortable at all outdoors fully clothed. So we dash to the front cab and pile in, announce our destination and sit back...
...at which point we spot the little signs we'd missed in our haste - fake fur seat covers, the drivers' dreadlocks, the plastic model spliff and the picture of Haile Selassie hanging from the mirror.
The driver was very laid back. Just a touch too fucking laid back to be driving anything.
He drove the whole 20 minute journey without his hands ever touching the wheel. One hand on the handle above the door, the other on the gear stick, steering with his knees. Including negotiating a couple of clover-leaf highway junctions. At speed.
I really didn't think we'd make it.
(Fri 8th Sep 2006, 22:12, More)
Dubai.
A colleague and I, a few years ago. We come out of the place in town we'd had a meeting, and there's a taxi rank right next door outside a shopping mall.
It's July in Dubai... very hot, very humid. Not comfortable at all outdoors fully clothed. So we dash to the front cab and pile in, announce our destination and sit back...
...at which point we spot the little signs we'd missed in our haste - fake fur seat covers, the drivers' dreadlocks, the plastic model spliff and the picture of Haile Selassie hanging from the mirror.
The driver was very laid back. Just a touch too fucking laid back to be driving anything.
He drove the whole 20 minute journey without his hands ever touching the wheel. One hand on the handle above the door, the other on the gear stick, steering with his knees. Including negotiating a couple of clover-leaf highway junctions. At speed.
I really didn't think we'd make it.
(Fri 8th Sep 2006, 22:12, More)
» Lies Your Parents Told You
My parents told me that salad cream and mayonnaise were the same thing.
I was mightily pissed off when I found out the truth, and discovered that mayo was good, as opposed to the vinegary, slightly green gunk that was salad cream...
Bizarrely, I once had a girlfriend whose parents had perpetuated the same myth.
(Wed 14th Jan 2004, 14:57, More)
My parents told me that salad cream and mayonnaise were the same thing.
I was mightily pissed off when I found out the truth, and discovered that mayo was good, as opposed to the vinegary, slightly green gunk that was salad cream...
Bizarrely, I once had a girlfriend whose parents had perpetuated the same myth.
(Wed 14th Jan 2004, 14:57, More)