This Week: * ANIM - I say potato * WEEBL - On the fucking moon * B3TA PARTY - next week ------------------------------------------------- ________ ____ __ ___ ____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ | ___/ _ |/_ </ __/ __ | "We're saving the __/____/____/\__/_/ |_| web... together" B3ta email 121 - 06 Feb 2004 Read this issue in your browser: http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue121/ Subscribe: b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com Unsub: b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com ------------------------------------------------- : B3TA PARTY Next week. Will rock. Listen up, spazzers. We're having a party next Friday and you're invited. It's going to be amazing. Best of all we've got a raffle in which you can win all sorts of prizes. We've also got a few t-shirts for sale. Huzzah. http://www2.b3ta.com/party/valentine.gif ------------------------------------------------- : WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK Small Faces, BBC, Dwarfs, Fridge, Veitch, Weebl >> Lazy Sunday << Skipper is clearly a new talent to watch. He's taken the Small Faces classic "Lazy Sunday" and made an utterly charming video featuring a strange potato character. He writes, "Hope it brings you as much joy as it has me." http://pommedeterre.ednetuk.com/ >> Brian for the Beeb << "My dad Brian", writes Monkeymanblue, "has decided to put himself forward for the position Director General of the BBC. Not only does he promise to 'cut the crap' - he also plans to 'slash the shit', 'waste the wank', and 'beat the bollocks'" Newspapers: looking for a different angle on the Hutton Inquiry? Try this. http://www.brian4thebeeb.com/ >> Fucking dwarf << CCC is a b3ta legend. He's the famous Monkey Man of Tunbridge Wells. He's also a rather talented songwriter who records under the name Giovanni & Sebastian and caused us to get an official complaint when we played his song on b3ta radio. Wheatox has made him a rather energetic flash video. Watch and listen. This song is comic genius. http://www.mrandmrswheatley.co.uk/isay.html >> Fridge tip works! << Each newsletter we stick a tip at the bottom, to share our knowledge and help make your life a little bit easier. We love it when you try them out and write it up for the web. Thanks Trumpet. http://www.kitallen.com/fridge >> Rathergood on biscuits << Before Joel Veitch became the internet superstar he is today he was Australia's leading poet. Now? He's set some of his old work to music. Oh, and he's robbed a bit of Weebl's visual style too. Weebl says, "Twunt. This means war." So look out for his revenge. It could be epic - a clash of the web titans kinda thing. http://www.rathergood.com/biscuits/ >> Weebl & Bob: On the moon << Speaking of Weebl, he's off in Boston doing some gay chat about web comics at MIT. Anyway, he's left us with a new episode of his eponymous cartoon. This one has rockets. http://www.weebl.jolt.co.uk/moon.htm ------------------------------------------------- : B3TA RADIO Slang Survey This week we asked you about new language that's been amusing or annoying you. http://b3ta.com/questions/slangsurvey/ You can learn more about b3ta radio and how to tune via your radio or the web here: http://b3ta.com/features/b3taradio/ ------------------------------------------------- : SITES IN BRIEF Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates. >> Pipe-smoke-eye man << Pussy Shoot Ping-Pong Ball? Pussy smoke cigarette? We've all been there. But check this man-whore's web-advert for his services: eyeball smoke pipe. http://www.thephilipsphile.com/ripvid/v-eye-smoker... >> Rainbow smut-fest << Finally, the long-rumoured tape of the UK kids' show Rainbow, where the script writers made every line a blatant sexual innuendo has found its way onto the web. Warning: 16MB download but worth seeing. http://www.wow.f2s.com/humour/rainbow.mpg >> Modern estate-agent marketing << As if estate agents weren't bad enough already, they've got hip to this viral marketing malarkey and started writing copy designed to make people pass it on and go "fuck me - is this real?" Bunch of cunts. http://www.ralphbending.com/sales_page.asp >> I failed my exams << Ever sat in an exam and felt like writing stupid answers to take the piss? This bloke did. Read his paper. If b3ta ran universities he'd get a first. http://www.enzine.net/index.php >> Animal Yawns << Poor little creatures, it gets tiring being cute all day. Check this collection of animals preparing to get some shut-eye. http://www.animalyawns.com/ >> Don't spit, swallow << Men! Fed up with your ladies gobbling your old man and spitting the gunk up your leg? Forward them this link and let them see the error of their ways. Warning: she'll dump you. http://www.dontspitswallow.com/ >> Fox cock knocks Beeb shock << Still hungry for more Hutton links? This Fox news coverage of the affair is frankly mind boggling. Hooray for Rupert Murdoch. http://blugg.com/stuff/foxs_view_of_the_bbc_player... ------------------------------------------------- : THINGS THAT MAKE YOU GO AAHH When foxes and badgers make friends Paul McCartney! Looking for a metaphor for racial harmony to write a saccharine duet about? Why not try this true story of a poor orphan fox and badger who made friends in the rain. Sweet. http://www.hydestile.org.uk/PAGES/Badger%20&%2... BTW: What's the cutest thing you've seen on the web recently? Tell us at http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/ ------------------------------------------------- : B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE Results from the Daily Mail World Challenge Each week we run a competition to test your creative skills. We set a challenge and you open Photoshop and mess with our heads. Last week we wanted an insight into Daily Mail World, and you scared us silly: http://b3ta.com/challenge/dailymailworld/ We asked b3ta boarder 'rogan' to judge the entries - here are his 3 faves. Rogan writes - #1 "Daily Mail map of the World - I bet they'll be giving these maps away in primary schools. On the plus side, the people of Ireland will enjoy their new tropical location. (monkeon) http://b3ta.com/board/2706952 #2 "Euro Tunnel - Problem solved! But with no immigrants to write about wouldn't the Mail go out of business? - yay, another problem solved! (Slim) http://b3ta.com/board/2695585 #3 "Daily Mailopoly! - Just right for the challenge, if the Daily Mail ran the world this is exactly what it would be like..." (doctorwhen) http://b3ta.com/board/2700954 >> This Week's Challenge << This week, the challenge dictator put on his pop-svengali hat and gave us the suggestion, "Disappointing Tribute Bands". http://b3ta.com/challenge/tributebands/ ------------------------------------------------- : WHAT HAPPENED NEXT? Follow-ups on previous stories. * B3TA IN THE TIMES - UK broadsheet has written up a more-informed-than-usual article about b3ta and its friends. Huzzah. http://www.timesonline.co.uk/printFriendly/0,,1-80... * RATHERGOOD SANDWICH AD - yay for Joel and his ad millions. But please stop sending us the link going, "Oh no! He's been ripped off." * HUTTON PIC - MissPrism made an image which escaped from our board and into the wild. Used by several newspapers, such as the Sunday Express, who -surprise surprise- didn't credit the artist. http://b3ta.com/board/2688682 ------------------------------------------------- : STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE Make something cool and tell us about it. If you are in it then people will see your stuff. Things we'd really like to see include * VALENTINE STUFF - that doesn't make us vomit * THINGS FOR OUR RAFFLE - pep@b3ta.com is the lady you need to talk to. There will be a linky credit fest in next week's issue. * "BUMSEXUAL" USED IN A NEWSPAPER - are you a sub-editor for a national? Slip it in and send us a scan. Cheers. Send contributions to http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/ BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't been featured then don't be put off - we look at everything you send us. ------------------------------------------------- Subscribe: b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com Unsubscribe: b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com ------------------------------------------------- THANKS: This issue was edited by Rob Manuel with David Stevenson. Links sent in by Bovine, mooskleo, Matthew Bowler, boomerang_robert, Whiffert, Blugg & freshlegs Top Tippery by Slocombe. Additional linkage by Fraser Lewry. Board research by Fnord. Image challenge handled by Mike Trinder. Proofing by the lady b4ta norks. (73645) ------------------------------------------------- TOP TIP: Smearing peanut butter on pills makes it much easier for dogs to eat their tablets.