NEWSLETTER: ISSUE 49: "PANDAS MUST DIE"
This Week:
- Pandas must die
- Skive off work (again)
- Arty stuff
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___/ _ |/_ </ __/ __ | "We're saving the
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B3ta email 49 - 27 JUL 2002
Read this issue online:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue49/
Subscribe: [email protected]
Unsub: [email protected]
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: PANDAS MUST DIE
Wrong but very funny.
Corky and the Juice Pigs were a Canadian
comedy music band of the 90s. Their debut
album "The Debut Album" featured a jaunty
little number about Pandas. B3ta boarder
Tomsk has made a pleasing and short
animation to accompany it.
http://www.tomandphil.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/pandas/
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: SKIVE OFF WORKING
By pretending that your computer is busy
B3ta boarder Izb writes -
"My mate Yoni Gibbs wrote this so that we
could sit about and read the paper at work.
"All it does is display a progress bar in a
window. The idea is that you leave it running
in front of whatever application you use every
day and it looks like your waiting for the
computer to process some complex piece of work.
"Your boss need never know the truth."
BTW: This is a Windows application and
needs unzipping before you can install it.
http://www.dynofoo.com/landfill/progress.zip
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: THE SEVENTH SEAL, PIE STYLE
Arty films remade with silly jokes.
The Seventh Seal was a movie made by the
acclaimed director Ingmar Bergman in 1957.
It dealt with a man seeking answers about
life, death, and the existence of God as he
plays chess against the Grim Reaper during
the Black Plague.
It didn't include pie. Until now.
Weebl - the director the acclaimed "when
come back bring pie" flash animations says
of his version, "It's back and white and
very moving. Some people think it's the end
of pie. It isn't. There's always more pie."
http://www.weebl.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/b3ta/art.htm...
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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK
Donkeys, Duran Duran, Pillows and Crap Banks.
>> "I am a donkey" animation <<
Spacefish likes donkeys. He's made a short
song and animation to celebrate this. It's
unsophisticated but has its own peculiar charm.
http://www.glastonbridge.co.uk/flash/donkey.swf
>> Simon Le Bon <<
Bloody hell - B3ta boarder LittleBean was
reading a 1980 copy of the casting magazine
Spotlight and came across this entry for
Duran Duran singer Simon Le Bon. Apparently
Simon sings and dances. We like it because
his mouth looks really gammy. Big eyebrows too.
http://www.baker-street.net/archives/00000025.htm
>> Pillow Dance Thing <<
Gosh Weebl has been busy this week. Not only
more pie, but he's made this lovely toy where
you can make a pillow dance using your mouse.
Weebl says, "My pillow is dancing to the Mouse
on Mars track 'Actionist Respoke'. The dancing
is based on my own dancing. I've learnt all
my moves from playing Dance Revolution on the
Playstation."
http://www.weebl.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/b3ta/pillow....
>> CrapWest <<
B3ta reader James Kane is annoyed with his bank.
He's started a small website and wants you to
email him your bad experiences with your bank.
There's not much on the site yet - but we're
pretty sure that you can change that.
http://www.crapwest.com
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: HOW TO SPEND YOUR MONEY THIS WEEK
Remote control car with video camera.
What more can we say? It's a radio controlled
car with a video camera on it. There's a little
screen on the controller. You can see what the
car sees - if it had eyes. It costs
£199 and we want one.
http://makeashorterlink.com/
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: SITES IN BRIEF
Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates.
>> Dog Dolls <<
Artist Lisa Pay makes dolls with dogs heads.
They are disturbing and made us flinch -
although they are meant to be cute.
http://www.pedigreesroyal.com/Dollydogs.htm
>> Change the taste of your semen <<
Sweet Release is a dietary supplement that
will change the scent and taste of your semen.
The site claims that "your semen will
change from an unpleasant salty flavour to
a delicious apple flavour." Does anybody
fancy trying this out and getting back to us?
http://makeashorterlink.com/
>> Penis Gallery <<
Satoki Nishida is a Japanese artist who takes
photos of his penis dressed in dolls costumes.
Some of them are in dresses and they actually
look quite sweet.
http://makeashorterlink.com/
>> Scan your arse and send it to Rambo's mum <<
Why? 'Cause she'll tell you your future - Yep.
You heard right. For the bargain price of $100
too. Is this the most tragic celebrity cash
in ever? Graham Norton - are you reading this?
Phone this woman now!
http://www.jacquelinestallone.com/reportsDocs/rump...
>> Rate my Implants <<
The rate my x trend continues with this
variation where you can look at women's breast
implants and vote whether the surgeon has done
a convincing job. BTW: a quick search on netcraft
domain monitoring site shows that there are 425
ratemy sites registered.
http://www.ratemyimplants.com
>> Jet Powered Beer Cooler <<
Beer loving Kiwi Simon Jansen has built a beer
cooler powered with a jet engine. The photos
are great. Sadly this cooler doesn't fit into
the back of his new car and he wants you to
give him a spare turbo - if you have one.
http://www.asciimation.co.nz/beer/
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: BOOTLEG MP3 OF THE WEEK
Will Smith - Nod Ya Head (Mr Trick Lust for
Aliens Mix)
Each week we talk to the_dr at Boom Selection
about his current favourite bootleg track.
the_dr writes -
"Something nice for the sunshine: a bootleg
megamix of Will Smith's latest rap over the
top of classic rock riffs, loops and beats.
Black Sabbath, Led Zep, Iggy Pop, AC/DC,
Cypress Hill and The Fugees: wow. The best
bootleg I've heard for months."
http://www.punkbreakz.force9.co.uk/audio/lustforal...
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: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
Results from "Cute" Challenge
Each week we run a competition to test your
creative skills. We set a challenge and you
open Photoshop and mess with our heads.
Last week we wanted you to make the cutest
thing in the history of cuteness.
http://b3ta.com/challenge/cutestimageintheworld/
We asked B3ta boarder Your Mum to judge the
entries - here are his 3 faves.
Your Mum writes -
#1 "Nurse Kitten with pig tails - stomach
thumpingly cute. (jboom)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/2/1/9/5/5/7/
#2 "Multi-eyed kitten - It may be ugly,
but its really trying to be our friend
(Mc)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/2/2/6/1/3/4/
#3 "Mouse bouncing on kitten - Respect to
both parties for overcoming their
differences to bring us 61k of cute.
(Indole Ring)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/2/2/6/5/8/8/
>> This Week's Challenge <<
This week, B3ta contributor Monkeon gave us
the suggestion, "what's the 8th wonder of the
world?"
http://b3ta.com/challenge/eighthwonder/
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: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE
Make something cool and tell us about it.
Stuff we'd really like to see includes
* Nothing on geocities. We can't link to it.
The traffic will make your site fall over.
* Stuff you've found and photographed. Have you
been to the zoo and worried the zebras?
* YOUR latest websites and animations.
TIP: Nothing too wordy. We're thick and
don't like reading.
Send contributions to http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/
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THANKS: David Stevenson, Lucy Reese, Denise
Wilton, Fatbaob, Tomdog, Bruno, Muggs Demon,
JefPK, Steph K, 39024.
