NEWSLETTER: "WE'RE ON TWITTER. FOLLOW US AT @B3TA NOW!"
"We're on Twitter. Follow us at @b3ta NOW!"
This Week:
* TWITTER - Follow us at @b3ta
* TWITTER - Follow us at @b3ta
* TWITTER - Follow us at @b3ta
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________ ____ __ ___
____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ | "We're saving the
___/ _ |/_ </ __/ __ | gifs together...
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_| that's the plan"
B3ta email 634 - 20 Jun 2014
Read this on Google glass:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue634
Lovers : [email protected]
Shovers : [email protected]
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: SPONSORED LINK (Blimey! We sold an ad!)
Game: Sponsored Island
Dan Hall writes, "Improbable Island is an
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you can get eaten by lions."
http://www.improbableisland.com
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: NEWS BIT - stuff to tell you
* Recovering old images from B3tards and other
sources - we're working on a script that gets
stuff from Archive.org and repopulates old
posts. We reckon we'll be able to get back about
50% or so of old posts. Yay.
* Sorry for lack of newsletter last week, your
editor Rob was busy and Dave was in Vietnam
breaking his leg. Soz.
* We're going great guns on the @b3ta Twitter
account, tweeting old gold and the latest
images. Make sure you join in.
https://twitter.com/b3ta
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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK
>> An hour of birds, all at once.. <<
Poochen writes, "These are all the birds that
flew past my window in an hour, all together at
once."
http://www.b3ta.com/links/An_hour_of_birds_all_at_...
>> Sir Ian's tribute to Alan B'stard <<
Natt, "Ian & I say goodbye."
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Sir_Ians_tribute_to_Alan...
>> Ghostbusters: Vol. 3 [official trailer HD] <<
Leehardcastle writes, "It's the real
ghostbusters in tune to the Tarantino universe,
guest VO from a hero of mine... Adam Buxton,
don't ask how or why, just accept Adam Buxton is
a very nice chap."
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Ghostbusters_Vol_3_offic...
>> Cooking with Tampax <<
Colmcq2 writes, "...because NO ONE has tried
this so I figured I would."
http://myfoodeeblog.com/2014/06/15/tampax/
>> A tool to create fake Facebook quiz results <<
Gabboid writes, "Confuse your FB friends with
weird answers to fake quizzzes."
http://dontmakemeangry.com/which/
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: USVSTH3M - RECENT GOOD SHIT
The other B3taish project we run
* Gender Switch Your Name - What would your
parents have called you if you were born the
opposite gender?
http://games.usvsth3m.com/gender-switch-your-name/
* Who Should Your Second Team Be? - We’re all
rooting for England, but maybe it’s time to pick
a back-up
http://games.usvsth3m.com/your-second-team/
* Who's Your Inner Football God? - Showman, hard
man or gentleman? Get matced with a soccer
legend.
http://games.usvsth3m.com/who-is-your-inner-footba...
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: QUESTION OF THE WEEK
Fantasists
We had a really cool story for this one, but
it's been optioned by a Hollywood studio and
they said we couldn't tell anyone or the CIA
would kidnap us and take us to their underground
base:
http://b3ta.com/questions/fantasists/
* CYBORG - "I had a friend at school obsessed
with Terminator 2. I remember him forcing me to
watch as some tiny injury he'd suffered healed
at a rate "FASTER THAN A NORMAL HUMAN"
Unfortunately he decided he was a cyborg. Under
this particular misapprehension, he got into a
fight with another kid. What should have been a
brief albeit exciting playground tussle was
instead the excruciating sight of this utter
nobhead walking with robotic determination
towards his opponent while maintaining a blank
expression, hands by his side, Arnie on his
mind, relying purely on the irresistible force
of his metal endoskeleton to ensure victory.
Naturally the lad he was fighting just punched
him in the face repeatedly, leaving the rest of
us to console a sobbing T800. The best bit?
Through his tears, which he insisted were merely
a symptom of a cold, he managed to choke a
semi-impassive "I'll be back." (Wet-chinned bag
shanker)
* WEREWOLF - "Kelly was the girl in school
everyone felt uncomfortable around, probably due
to the smell. She came out with such utter shit
in order to make herself more interesting, such
as thefairies in her garden she'd caught, or the
£20,000 she won in a beauty contest in America.
If you called her on her lies, she'd report you
to the headmaster and say you'd hit her. One
day, she came in to school with 3 scratches down
her left arm. When asked, she told us she'd been
for a walk at midnight and been attacked by a
werewolf. Unfortunately for her, her brother
overheard her. "Pack it in, you little weirdo,"
he said, "you did that yourself with the garden
fork!" (Smash Monkey)
* SPANG - "Once, I found a lump under my armpit.
Fearing the worst, I went to the doctor to get
it checked out. He pushed it and prodded it and
said he didn't think it was anything too serious
but that he would take biopsy. With a scalpel he
made a little nick and it suddenly burst,
sending orange fluid squirting out so fast the
doctor couldn't move out of the way quick enough
and some of it squirted right in his mouth. He
tasted it, and then sighed with relief, stood up
and said, "It's ok, there's nothing to worry
about, it's just a Fanta cyst." (Fork. Who
should be killed.)
>> This Week: HECKLES II <<
Adding a comments box to real life. Share your
best and worst experiences with hecklers:
http://b3ta.com/questions/hecklesagain/
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: SITES IN BRIEF
Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates
* A Florida woman was arrested in May for
shooting a missile into a vehicle, and her name
is so perfect! (as is her mug shot.)
http://snurl.com/2916ee0
* An Insight Into The Music Biz And How It
Works. Ex-member of 'The Orb' Kris Weston
remembers his time with 'The Orb' with all the
going's on with the other bods involved, also
included are the various record companies and
hangers on.
https://krisweston.com/index.php/rant/
* Now we know where spiderman shoots his web
from.
http://snurl.com/2916ef4
* Chinese Translations gone a bit wrong. We like
"Tiny grass is dreaming"
http://snurl.com/2916efz
* CIA facial recognition software identifies pic
of 'unknown woman' as Francis Bacon in drag.
http://snurl.com/2916eh5
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: VIDEO SCHMIDEO
Non repeating animated gifs with sound
* Dizzy Squirrel - Flabberghasted writes, "A
bloke at a mates workplace put a rotational
motor on the bird feeders..." Well if animal
cruelty is your thing - why would you do this?
https://www.youtube.com/watch
* Drummer attacked by flying disc doesn't miss a
beat.
http://instagram.com/p/o8xRkkJzRi/
* David Bowie & Mick Jagger without the music.
Amazing.
http://b3ta.com/links/nae_noise
* Ainsley Harriott. Christ, watch this. You wil
explode.
http://b3ta.com/links/He_he_boi
* Old women find escalator difficult.
http://b3ta.com/links/To_infinity_and_beyond:2
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: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
Results from 'delete things from history'
Last week we asked you to erase things from
the past, photoshopping things out of old
pictures and pondering on the consequences.
Our favourites included:
* THORNE: 27bslash6 reimagined with soviet
lols (monkeon)
http://b3ta.com/board/11083535
* ARMSTRONG: Classic helmet removal (augsav)
http://b3ta.com/board/11082892
* LLOYD: Amazing bit of edit dodging
animation (Rubber Dubya)
http://b3ta.com/board/11082702
All these images, and your favourites
can be found here:
http://b3ta.com/challenge/deletehistory/
*** Week before's challenge ***
Results from the Infographic Challenge
Two weeks ago asked you to create some fancy
infographics, but without the limitations of
boring facts and stuff we probably should know.
Our favourites included:
* BBC: Amazing stats on classic comedy
(Captain Howdy)
http://b3ta.com/board/11081663
* STAND UP: Everything you need to know
about live lols (monkeon)
http://b3ta.com/board/11082119
* MARMITE: The reasons why you love
it or hate it (DinivanX)
http://b3ta.com/board/11081851
All these images, and your favourites
can be found here:
http://b3ta.com/challenge/fakeinfographics/
>> New challenge: Invent an animal <<
This weeks challenge is to play God and invent
some new creatures. Head to your zoological
drawing board and come up with some stuff that
would make David Attenborough giggle.
http://b3ta.com/challenge/inventanimals/
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Yeah: [email protected]
No: [email protected]
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THANKS:
This issue was written by Rob Manuel with David
Stevenson. Stuff sent in by SpanishFly,
GloballyRelaxed, skullbuggery, Gratch, John
Mytton, bonnie_prince_bob, Taramasalata.
Image challenge by Fraser Lewry.
Mike Trinder is QOTW bloke.
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LOOK. WE SOLD A FUCKING AD. CLICK THE FUCKER.
http://www.improbableisland.com
