NEWSLETTER: ISSUE 73: "MONKEYS, NOT KITTENS"
This Week:
* ANIM - Monkey Song from Rathergood
* COMPETITION - Weebl selects a lady
* TOY - Design your own Rizlas
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________ ____ __ ___
____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ |
___/ _ |/_ </ __/ __ | "We're saving the
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_| web ... together"
B3ta email 73 - 24 Jan 2003
Read this issue in your browser:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue73/
Subscribe: [email protected]
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: MOON MONKEY SONG
from Joel Veitch of Rathergood
Joel writes -
"I thought I'd let my pet monkeys cash in on
the Kitten Band's success, and they've done it
really badly.
"Actually, all they did was mime. They made me
do all the singing -- it was two days before I
could talk properly again."
Behold the wonder of singing monkeys.
http://www.rathergood.com/moon_song/
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: WEEBL DATE UPDATE
The ladies are in...
Last week we gave you the opportunity to win
a date with premier net celebrity Weebl.
We visited him while the submissions were
coming in and were shocked to find him in bed
at 4pm, naked, smelly and reading emails
from girls wanting to date him. Some people
have all the luck.
Anyway, Weebl has picked a winner and we'll
be reporting on that next week. But first?
Have a look at the losers.
http://www.weebls-stuff.com/b3ta/date2.html
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: B3TA RIZLA MACHINE
Design and print your own covers
No more fiddling around with boring old Rizla
packets. Now you can fiddle around with exciting
new b3ta-style ones! JBoom has made a Flash-based
page that lets you make and print your own designs.
Ace.
Next week: Create your own b3ta crack pipe...
http://www.jboom.com/rizla/
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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK
Sex, Death, Noses, Nukes, Dancing & Kittens
>> Rainbow Fuck Orgy <<
This X-rated MP3 is a heavily edited version of
UK children's favourite Rainbow. "It involved an
episode of Rainbow where they did exercise",
writes b3ta regular Vulga, "I made it a bit
ruder."
http://www.youareallcunts.com/users/vulga/rainbow2...
>> Mr Stabby goes to the shops <<
Regulars will be familiar with the
not-often-enough series from Weebl and Joel
Veitch, Mr Stabby. This time he's going
shopping. Can you guess what happens next?
http://www.weebls-stuff.com/flash/shops.html
>> Michael Jackson Nose Quiz <<
Jacko has had many different noses in his long
career. See if you can spot them all in
Artamnesia's quiz.
http://www.modestypanel.com/mjackson/
>> Rock Paper Scissors ... Nukes <<
K3rry has been working on a version of the
playground classic Rock Paper Scissors. His
version cheats a bit but still raises a
couple of laughs.
http://www.marshallsoftware.co.nz/b3ta/rpstripper
>> Make a man dance <<
Carl Baldwin is most famous for making the
famous Argie handbag picture that did the rounds
a few months ago. His latest thing is an interactive
dancing man using photos of his mate. It's
very nicely posed.
http://www.carlbaldwin.co.uk/glendance/
>> Shout at the kitty <<
Crikey! This is really innovative. Make noises
into your microphone and Mr Fancyteeth's kitten
will jump about. We'd love to see what other
b3ta people could do with a microphone interface.
How about a racing game where you make "brum
brum" noises?
http://www.mantlepies.com/kittygraph.html
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: SITES IN BRIEF
Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates.
>> Upgrade your feet <<
Ever wanted to bounce like a kangaroo? The
PowerSkip straps onto your feet and gives
you really long bouncy legs. Watch the
videos. You'll be amazed.
http://www.powerskip.de/photogallery.html
>> Transgressive Elf-based comic <<
Elftor is an angry right-wing pixie who lives
in a comic strip. This episode sees him
dealing with racism and laundry. Have a
poke around: there are some really good ones
in the archives.
http://elftor.com/elftor.php
>> Penis Reading <<
Did you know that you can tell a lot about
a man from the shape of his willy? A bent
one is an "air penis" and indicates an
artistic temperament. Or so it says here.
What type of cock are you?
http://www.backdoor.com/thenumber/penis1.html
>> Hang out with sperm <<
A chatroom without the chat, but with a
great big egg. You are represented by a
sperm with your name on it. And so is
everyone else who visits the page. We
found it fun to email our friends and get
as many as possible on at the same time.
It's a nice feeling to see lots of friendly
sperms.
http://www.frozenman.com/
>> One man and his hair <<
JL is a Finnish chap who over the last five
years has been growing his hair. He's been
photographing the progress and experimenting
with strange lady styles. Slightly icky.
http://sivut.koti.soon.fi/plaque/hair/gallery/
>> PC Crash Simulator <<
Here's a neat thing. Send this to your mates
or stick it on a colleague's computer and
it'll look as if something has gone very
wrong indeed.
http://fun.tmc.dyn.ee/reboot.html
>> Saab Sauna <<
There's a bit of a trend for odd modifications
on the net. The latest we've seen involves
turning a Saab car into a sauna. Looks good.
(We can't wait for the future when we can
link to people genetically engineering
elephants into house pets.)
http://snurl.com/n8e
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: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
Results from the Movie Challenge
Each week we run a competition to test your
creative skills. We set a challenge and you
open Photoshop and mess with our heads.
Last week we wanted "The Cutting Room Floor:
Deleted Scenes From The Movies."
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/movie/
We asked B3ta boarder Rogan to judge the
entries - here are his 3 faves.
Rogan writes -
#1 "Han and Greedo: There were hundreds of
Star Wars posts, but this one felt more
authentic than most. I love Han's
expression. (Whoremonger)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/699110
#2 "Citizen Kane: Most of Orson Welles'
work with powerpoint was butchered by
studio executives, we must treasure the
little that remains. (0% Interest)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/696897
#3 "Saturday Night Fever: Every single
thing in this picture clashes, and yet it
looks so right! (Flash_Bastard)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/689755
>> This Week's Challenge <<
This week, B3ta contributor Bovine gave us
the suggestion, "Extinct! What was it and
where did it go?"
http://b3ta.com/challenge/extinct/
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: WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
Follow-ups on previous stories.
* B3TA BOARDER IN THE NEWS - Manic recently
attended an anti-war protest in London, and
his photoshopped image of Tony Blair reached
many of the national papers.
http://makeashorterlink.com/
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: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE
Make something cool and tell us about it. If
you are in it then people will see your stuff.
Things we'd really like to see include:
* NEW GAMES CONTROLLED BY MICROPHONES. Yeah we
know a lot of people can't play them but
there's something really exciting about
this novel interface.
* PRESS CLIPPINGS MENTIONING B3TA STUFF. We
rely on you to tell us if you see any of
our work in the papers. We buzz off getting
scans we can stick in the 'Great Book of
b3ta.' We can't show the grandkids a load
of broken URLs you know.
* FREEBIES. We like getting free stuff in
the mail. Last week we were sent a DVD
of Lemon Jelly's 'Nice Weather for Ducks'
It's actually rather fantastic.
Send contributions to http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/
BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't
been featured then don't be put off - we look
at everything you send us.
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THANKS:
This issue was edited by Rob Manuel
with David Stevenson.
Links sent in by Fraser 'God' Lewry, Owen
Briant, Richard Leyton, Andy / Trials and
Glassfish.
Image challenge handled by Mike Trinder.
Proofing by the cheeky b4ta squirrels.
And a special woo for Denise Wilton for being
the best web designer in the UK bar none.
(59080)
