NEWSLETTER: "CELEBRATING 'FREEDOM DAY' BY STAYING INSIDE AND ONLINE AS USUAL"
"Celebrating 'Freedom Day' by staying inside and online as usual"
This Week:
* IMAGES: Books with titles that match artwork
* QUIZ - recognise the film from the AI image
* CHALLENGE: 'Animal Holidays'
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________ ____ __ ___
____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ | "We're shaving
___/ _ |/_ </ __/ __ | the web coz it's
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_| hairy ...together"
B3ta electro-e-email 779 - 16th July 2021
Mumble this issue into your mask made of wank socks:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue779
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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK
Other than naming their toes after Blazin' Squad
* IF OLD BOOKS HAD THE TITLES THAT MATCHED
THEIR ARTWORK - Dutch art genius Klaas
Leussink writes, "I've started doing it again,
after a creative hiatus of more than a year
(except for the occasional repost). I can't be
sure how long this run will be, but I've got
some corkers coming up." Fuck it, this can go
in lads.
https://www.instagram.com/vintage_covers/
* SONG AGAINST NORMALISING THINGS - Michael M
Physics writes, "I wrote a quick song about
the sort of people who insist on telling you
to normalise things that just justify and
reveal their creepily sociopathic tendencies."
This is great and Michael is a special genius
with an LP of other anxiety based tunes out
soon.
https://twitter.com/michaelmphysics/status/1415636...
* CENTURIES OF SOUND 1937 - Zuowan writes,
"Need to escape from 2021 for a few hours?
Think that's a yes? Here's another mix of
music and sounds from a single year - this one
featuring Bing Crosby and the Hindenburg
Disaster." Why not give it a listen to build
up to live reenactment of World War 2 in the
mentions of GB News?
https://centuriesofsound.com/2021/07/12/1937/
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: HEBTRO SPONSORSHIP
Buy some lovely jeans you sexy people
Many of our readers have very cold legs, and
help is at hand as our sponsors Hebtroco have
invented this technology called "trousers"
which can cover your lower-limbs and keep them
toasty warm and prevent you from getting
arrested by the Old Bill for having your hairy
knackers exposed in McDonalds. Genius.
https://hebtro.co/
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: FESSHOLE
Your confessions fessed up for cheapo lols
Each week we ask you to piss in a bucket and
we serve up the best as shareable content
soup:
* SEXY - 'I once accidentally texted "I'm
upstairs, I'm naked and I'm horny" to a man
interested in buying a lawnmower I had
advertised.'
* IRISH - "I'm an Irish speaker in a very
loyalist part of Norn Iron. Back in uni I used
to write to my local council anonymously and
request government documents be translated to
Irish which they had to do. As the only Irish
speaker in the area they came to me. Basically
paid for my Uni."
* PLAYSTATION - "The publisher of the PS2 game
I was working on threatened to pull funding if
the game didn't maintain a steady 30fps. It
ran at 20 at best. We couldn't optimise it any
more so eventually just wrote some code that
added 10 to the FPS counter. They were happy,
game shipped on time."
Join the 157,000 people who should know
better. Honestly that's a frightening amount
of people, for a project we only started on a
whim. Please stop following and writing such
great entries. Thank you.
https://twitter.com/fesshole
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: SITES IN BRIEF
Content from some other cunts on the internet
* THIS IS FUN ACTUALLY - Can you tell the
movie from the poster designed by a neural
network? It's no Saul-Bass-O-Matic, instead
churning out your typical AI mush, but it does
make you realise just how little information
you actually need to recognise an image.
https://canyouguess.art
* THE SEEDS OF DOOM - The truth about the
mystery seed deliveries last year, jaw
dropping that the obvious question wasn't
asked. TL;DR: people had ordered the seeds but
had forgotten. Much like all those dildos you
ordered in 1978.
https://www.theatlantic.com/science/archive/2021/0...
* BLINK AT YOUR WEBCAM - Look at this website
with your webcam on, and it changes slightly
every time you blink. It's quite a
disconcerting effect, and inspires quite a few
thoughts for potential uses, the least
tasteful being a Mavis Beacon / Diving Bell
and the Butterfly mash-up.
https://realless.glitch.me
* ECOMMERCE FOR KIDS - if you've ever wondered
why loads of online businesses are
fly-by-night and a bit shit it's because of
'drop shipping' - and now the tech is
available to kids. Your toddler can become an
entrepreneur and start selling tat to his
social network of creche peers in just two
clicks. Honestly, whether this is a joke or
not makes no difference these days.
https://mighty.business/
* MAKE YOUR IPAD SHIT - install Billy Gate's
Windows 3.1 on an iPad to relive your youth
via a terrible operating system.
https://www.howtogeek.com/739100/how-to-install-wi...
* LENIN & MCCARTHY - This is quite a long read
about McCartney meeting Lennon for the first
time with some serious detective work and a
little reading of the runes. Has anyone's
lives had such fevered speculation outside of
religion?
https://beatlesliverpoollocations.blogspot.com/201...
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: FRIDAY GAME
Airplane meal simulator
Flight simulators are all well and good, but
they miss one important aspect of flight -
horrible airline meals. Can you throw food
down your cake hole during turbulence? BTW:
It's not the most intuitive controls - you
have to keep the left mouse button held down
to grab an item, and then move it with
W/A/S/D.
https://sheepandram.itch.io/pfs2021
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: IMAGE CHALLENGE
Celebs in space
Here's the best images from last week:
* SOOTY IN SPACE - from S4RK
https://b3ta.com/board/11347198
* MATT HANCOCK IN SPACE - from Q4Nobody
https://b3ta.com/board/11347562
* JUNE WHITFIELD IN SPACE - from Ninj
https://b3ta.com/board/11347406
* See all the other images from the 'Celebs in
space' challenge:
http://b3ta.com/challenge/celebsinspace/popular
>> This week: Animal Holidays <<
Pack your trunks and hoof it to the beach,
we're sending animals on holiday.
http://b3ta.com/challenge/animalholidays/popular
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: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE
Free ideas to start you off, prof
* RATIO'D - The only podcast anyone needs and
it would do emergency broadcasts to explain
what everyone was shouting about on Twitter.
We would almost do this ourselves, other than
staring into the abyss every day might destroy
what's left of our sanity. You do it, ok?
* PETITION - to make the Sports Direct logo
officially part of the English flag.
* WEBSITE FEATURE IDEA - show, in real time,
which bits of text other visitors are
absent-mindedly highlighting (idea nicked from
Twitter user @v21)
Stick your shite in our letterbox:
https://b3ta.com/mailus/
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: PATREON THANKS
We love all these people. Almost romantically.
*HEBTROCO* *JAMES O'BRIEN* *KATE* *MARK
MCCREADIE* *MR PHIL DONNELLY* *SHOWRAT* *SIMON
JAMES* *STOOBERT*
24-7 DEATH, ALAN CHARLTON, ALISTAIR, BRIAN
EELES, CHRIS BLAKENEY, CHRIS CARLINE, CHRIS
LOCKE, CRISS MORENO, IAN SHEEN, JAIMIE
VANDENBERGH, MARK ADAMSON, RICHARD BARCLAY,
SPAZZCAPTAIN, WENDY GOODE, NAT KING COLESLAW,
ALBERT MARSHMALLOW, DANIEL MUDFORD, CARL DENCH
Ed Zitron, Eugenie vT, Tom Dolan, Tom Wright,
lee burnett, Richard Matthias, @mattdawhit,
Adam Atack, Adam Cooney, Adam Lloyd, Adrian
Woodfield, Al Davidson, Albion Gray, Andy
Storrar, Andy Tillett, Andy Webber, Anna,
Anne-Marie Scott, Ben Watson, Bertram Wooster,
blossomshed, Carl Morgan, Catherine
McAllister, Chris Evans, Chris Shaw, Craig
Tonks, Damien Smith, Dan Stott, Daniel Brown,
Dave Nattriss, Dave Tickle, David Ault, David
Catley, David Gardiner, David King, David
Mills, Derek Law, Dominic Haigh, Emma Lay,
Eric von Borstel, Faith H. Martin, Fiona
James, Fraser Lewry, Gaynor Clarkson, Gia
Milinovich, Greg Neilson, Gus Nicol, Iain,
Iain Brassington, Iain Fuller, Iain Ruxton,
Ian Beveridge, Ivan Kelly, James Donnelly,
James Kerry-Barnard, Jane Baker, Jason
Stewart, Jerry Quartley, Jim Dabell, Jim
Frayling, Jim MacArthur, Jim Woodward, Joe
McNally, Joe Simmonds, John Faragher, John
Foster, John Hammersley, John Matthews, Jude
Evans, Jm McNven, Kate Devlin, Kev Adams,
Konrad Petrusewicz, Martin Beer, Martin
Holloway, Martin Peache, matsimpsk, Matt
Buchanan, Matt Drewry, Matthew Collinge,
Matthew Forman, Matthew Morris, Matthew
Wilkes, midnightrambler, mil jamieson, Neil de
Carteret, Nick Ross, OBiW4N SHiNOBi, oliver
bewes, Paul Cherry, Paul Smith, Paul
Westerman, Peter Ashtray, Peter Coombe, peter
wouda, Philip Kinchington, pookong, Rich Pope,
Richard Beckett, Rob Mahon, Rob Vincent,
Robbie Lesiuk, Ross Carter, RossOverThere,
Saleem Ahmad, Scott S. Kramer, sean casely,
Simon Cowan, Simon Holmes, Simon McDougall,
Simon waterfall, Stephen Waller, Steve
Anglesey, Steven Smith, Stuart Ashen, Tim
Jokl, Tim Mouncer, Tim Weaver, Tom Crick, Tom
Rees-Williams, Tom Ryan, TownsendsPublisher,
Wil Hadden, Will Goulden, AuntieSash
Hazlewood, Byron Geoffrey Farrow, Chef Twat,
Chris Gough, Chris Whitworth, Craig Turner,
Daniel Chote, Fergus McKay, fourstar, Geoff
Tidey, Geoffrey Balme, Graham Licence, James
Macinnes, John Higgs, Jonty Wareing, Mick
Curtis, Rhys Wynne, Rob Affleck, Chris
Saunders, George Preston, James O'Malley,
Martin Davies, Mike Middleton, Bex Cook,
Hannah Chubb, Ben Ward, James Pearson, Shane
McHugh, Stevey Garland, Ciarn R, Craig
Liddell, Helen Gaskell, Christopher Orr, Will
Moody, Nick Morgan, Ben Brice, David Green,
Justin Brett, Louise Allen, Robin, Gavin
Tommey, Stuart Richards, Tobie Fysh, Pete,
Carl Mesner Lyons, Chris Johnson, Emma Sykes,
Jan Spielhoff, Mike Congreve, Sean Flanagan,
Tom Freke, Sam Anderson, Jess Baker, Adam
Beardwood, David Stark, Julie Brumlik,
Alastair Dodd, Alexandre Strube, Andrew
Robinson, Andy Candler, Connor Parslow, Craig
Naples, Daniel Moeller, Duncan STrickland,
Harry, Irene Semanchuk, Joseph Mulvaney,
Michael Kitt, Nicky Hewgill, Paul Topping,
peter royal, Richard Speed, Sentient Meatbag,
Tim Beachy, Dominic Le Garsmeur, Mark Benson,
Danny Kodicek, Deny Coughlan, Nick Kent, Russ
Anderson, Adam Kaczmarek, Andrea Vail, Andy
Shirling, Ben Chapman, ben cowell-thomas, Ben
Groom, Ben Sugden, Cat Conner, Centuries of
Sound, Claire Allen, Claire Zolkwer, Darren
John Harris, Dave The Hammer Parry, David
Bond, David Ellinor, Daz Wright, Emily Payne,
Emma Nicol, FuzzyFreaks, Gary Sharp, Gwyn
Fisher, Hugh Noble, Iain M Barker, Ilya
olak-Anti, Jennifer Moquin, Jim Lucking, John
M, Jon Bounds, Lee Ball, Louis E, Lyra Jay,
Marc Lindberg, mark madgwick, Matt Carr,
Michael Bryan, Mr Flibble, Neil Ives, Nick,
Nigel Ford, Oli, Paul Bayfield, Paul Slade,
Peter Wood, Phil Barns, Rachel Tougas, Richard
Abraham, Richard Midwinter, Robert Purkis,
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Hanner, Sham Courtney, Simon Lumb, Stephen
McAuley, Stewart C. Russell, Stphane,
Swedemason, Ted Bowyer, Thepfy, Tim Polglase,
Tom Clark, Tony East, wigglywigglyworm, Adam
Tickner, Al Napp, Andrew Harris, Bobod, Chris
Ward, Jace Otting, James Meers, John
Griffiths, Paul Mancini, Rob Potter, Tanya
Kant, Victoria Wood, Graham Freeman, Caroline
Kahn, Matt.
EDITORIAL THANKS: Monkeon & Matt Round
additional links; HappyToast for image
challenge help; and Dr Dunno for extra
support. Proofing by Kat E.
And thank you to newish Patreons Ben Rout, Tim
Clarke, Simon Balch, Clemence Saussez, Derek
Colley. Martin Pritchard, Stephanie Wissinger,
Dion Ashton and Paul Blanchard. Thanks to EVEN
NEWER ONES: Fadgebadger, Mark (Mavis), Joshua
Rackstraw, Mike Stringer, Eliot Beer, Harri
Bionic, Chris Lindley, Stuart B, Jon Morris
Smith, Daniel Malbon, James Heaver and Phil
Lovell. And further thanks to newer ones: Ben
Oliver, James Wise, Claire Turner, Omnipiss,
Lindsay Mclaughlin, Mellyfish, Simon Edwards,
Dave Wong & Stafford Lawrence. NEWEST -
special love to NEW PATREON Phillip Spowart.
NEW NEWSEST - extra love love love to si
Jobling & Daniel Calvin. And bonus new love to
Douglas Pennant, Roy Santos & Will Thompson.
We love you.
And do please donate as you get occasional
"bonus" content. Maybe.
https://www.patreon.com/b3ta
