NEWSLETTER: "WHAT'S THAT SKIPPY? ANOTHER B3TA NEWSLETTER YOU'RE NOT OPENING? YOU'RE A SHIT, SKIPPY"
This Week:
* EVERY SECOND SONG - Songs from 1 second upwards
* EUPHEMISM QUIZ - With "real" speech
* HOW TO MAKE AI IMAGES - the easy way
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________ ____ __ ___
____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ |"We're stuffing socks into
___/ _ |/_ </ __/ __ | our pants to make our taint
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_| look bigger... together"
B3ta internet e-mail 782 - 06 Augustus Gloop 2021
Read this issue to your poor, confused mother:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue782
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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK
* EVERY SECOND SONG - Zuowan writes, "I've
made a Twitter feed which will post a song
with every length, counting up one second each
day." This is good - nice idea and looks like
they're doing the research properly, not just
finding YouTube clips that happen to be the
right length.
https://twitter.com/EverySecondSong
* EUPHEMISM QUIZ - our mission (with Wil
Hadden's help) to bring Sicktionary back
online means that the terrible audio quiz now
works too. You too can play along at home -
make sure speakers are on.
https://sicktionary.b3ta.com/quiz/
* SMASH HITS BOT TURNED INTO A SPOTIFY
PLAYLIST - remember our bot that posts random
pages from Smash Hits? Well, @feelinglistless,
spotted an advert in it - some compilation
tapes made by biscuit producers McVitie's and
has turned them into playlists. So nip to the
shop, buy some biscuits, and get listening to
some old pop music like it's 1984.
https://twitter.com/feelinglistless/status/1423405...
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: HEBTRO SPONSORSHIP
Boot up with Hebtro
If you're anything like us you spent much of
the lockdown taking extremely long walks, as
it was the one thing you could do that got a
bit of exercise and was allowed. And, like us,
you've fucked up all your shoes. We're now
totally jonesing for some tough leather boots,
made in Britain and designed to last a fuck of
a long time. Can Hebtro help out? Oh yes.
https://hebtro.co/
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: FESSHOLE
Confessions of a content aggregator
Each week we ask you piss in the bin and serve
up the best as urine soup. Here's three scoops
of the best:
* HOUSE - "The buyers of our house were a
nightmare and kept slowing the whole chain
down so I ordered 30 old keys off eBay, on
moving day I left them on the counter with all
the other spare house keys, just so their
first day as a homeowner would be wasted
trying to find what they unlocked."
* WORK - "To avoid doing a work
team-building-exercise long weekend - building
rafts etc - I got my nurse mate to plaster up
my arm. HR thought I was losing out so sent me
a food hamper as compensation for not being
able to go."
* SCHOOL - "One morning during my school
years, I knocked on my mum and dad's bedroom
door to feign illness to get out of going to
school. To my horror I heard them going at it
and mean going at it - my disgust got me to
school about half an hour early and I didn't
speak 'til lunch time."
And finally we'll just mention this one
that'll strike fear into some readers' hearts:
"My biggest fear is that if I get dementia
I'll just sit there shouting my favourite
pornhub searchterms." So join the 162,000
people who should have their DropBox passwords
passed to the police:
https://twitter.com/fesshole
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: SITES IN BRIEF
Stuff made by people we can't claim as b3tans
* MAKE YOUR OWN AI-GENERATED ART - simplest
link yet for getting AI images from text
prompts. If you do nothing else this week,
click this and follow the very simple
instructions. We were creating images like
"Kate Bush made of bushes" in minutes.
https://colab.research.google.com/drive/1n_xrgKDlG...
* LISTEN TO OLD MUSIC - Most Reddit bots are
horribly cynical things that scrape subreddits
for popular content in order to repost it on
Twitter for likes. This, however, is lovely.
It turns the /r/cratedigger subreddit into a
genuinely brilliant radio station of rare and
vintage gems.
https://vintageobscura.net
* LENNY KRAVITZ "FLY AWAY" - This gets more
and more hilarious as it goes on and veers
increasingly off course. No, come back, it
really is worth a click. Produced by Neil
Cicierega, who ancient B3tans will remember
from Animutation fame.
http://b3ta.com/links/1570435
* REMEMBER THAT FUCKED-UP SEWING WEBSITE - the
one that they never closed the tags on? Thank
you archive.org - you can still scroll in all
its glory.
https://web.archive.org/web/20140310190221/http://...
* THE ONLY GOOD TIKTOK ACCOUNT - they say
there's no new aesthetics in the world but
there is this one. Keep pressing the next
arrow to see more.
https://www.tiktok.com/@solopsist/video/6992454804...
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: FRIDAY GAME
Bezos game
A badly executed, but topical(ish) game in
which you must click the billionaire grot shop
owner into space. A welcome return of the Shit
Is Good aesthetic from the early b3ta years.
"We Like the Moon" would make a better
soundtrack, though.
https://bezosleavesearth.co/bezos/
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: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE
Free ideas to keep you busy
* POP LOCATIONS - a social media account that
finds locations used in pop music videos from
just the 1980s. Syon Park for the Cure's
Caterpillar, most of NW5 for the output of
Madness etc.
* STRIP MONOPOLY - rewrite the rules so that
landing on freeparking means you have sexily
unpeel an item of clothing like a sock.
* GLASSES FOR ARSES - why should your eyes be
the only thing examined by your local
optician?
Shit in our letterbox for fun and pleasure:
https://b3ta.com/mailus
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: PATREON THANKS
We love all these people. Almost romantically.
*HEBTROCO* *JAMES O'BRIEN* *KATE* *MARK
MCCREADIE* *MR PHIL DONNELLY* *SHOWRAT* *SIMON
JAMES* *STOOBERT*
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EELES, CHRIS BLAKENEY, CHRIS CARLINE, CHRIS
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Evans, Jm McNven, Kate Devlin, Kev Adams,
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Holloway, Martin Peache, matsimpsk, Matt
Buchanan, Matt Drewry, Matthew Collinge,
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Wilkes, midnightrambler, mil jamieson, Neil de
Carteret, Nick Ross, OBiW4N SHiNOBi, oliver
bewes, Paul Cherry, Paul Smith, Paul
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Wil Hadden, Will Goulden, AuntieSash
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Naples, Daniel Moeller, Duncan STrickland,
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Anderson, Adam Kaczmarek, Andrea Vail, Andy
Shirling, Ben Chapman, ben cowell-thomas, Ben
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Fisher, Hugh Noble, Iain M Barker, Ilya
olak-Anti, Jennifer Moquin, Jim Lucking, John
M, Jon Bounds, Lee Ball, Louis E, Lyra Jay,
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Ward, Jace Otting, James Meers, John
Griffiths, Paul Mancini, Rob Potter, Tanya
Kant, Victoria Wood, Graham Freeman, Caroline
Kahn, Matt.
EDITORIAL THANKS: Monkeon & Matt Round
additional links; HappyToast for image
challenge help; and Dr Dunno for extra
support. Proofing by Dav S. Thanks Dave.
And thank you to newish Patreons Ben Rout, Tim
Clarke, Simon Balch, Clemence Saussez, Derek
Colley. Martin Pritchard, Stephanie Wissinger,
Dion Ashton and Paul Blanchard. Thanks to EVEN
NEWER ONES: Fadgebadger, Mark (Mavis), Joshua
Rackstraw, Mike Stringer, Eliot Beer, Harri
Bionic, Chris Lindley, Stuart B, Jon Morris
Smith, Daniel Malbon, James Heaver and Phil
Lovell. And further thanks to newer ones: Ben
Oliver, James Wise, Claire Turner, Omnipiss,
Lindsay Mclaughlin, Mellyfish, Simon Edwards,
Dave Wong & Stafford Lawrence. NEWEST -
special love to NEW PATREON Phillip Spowart.
NEW NEWSEST - extra love love love to si
Jobling & Daniel Calvin. And bonus new love to
Douglas Pennant, Roy Santos & Will Thompson.
We love you.
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