NEWSLETTER: "THE FOOTBALL WILL ONLY BE DISAPPOINTING, PLAY WITH US INSTEAD"
This Week:
* IMAGE CHALLENGE: Food in Art
* BLOGS - Are they back? Did they go away?
* DR DUNNO - Launches his sitcom art book
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________ ____ __ ___
____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ | "We're saving the web
___/ _ |/_ </ __/ __ | by uploading ASCII
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_| porn to archive.org"
B3ta email 839 - 25 Nov 2022
Read this issue to your confused looking cat:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue839
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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE MADE THIS WEEK
Other than making horrible smells in the loo
* OLD GAMES QUIZ - Blombluss writes, "I've made
a daft quiz called 'The
Famous-Old-Games-On-Obscure-ish-Systems Quiz'.
It is, unsurprisingly, about well known old
computer/video/arcade games, and when they're
converted to less well known gaming systems."
Ooh, this is nicely written and researched but
could really do with Monkeon or someone to make
it work as a clicky quiz. Still, it's fun to
read.
https://blombluss.tumblr.com
* DR DUNNO AKA CHRISTHEBARKER'S BOOK - as
featured in this very newsletter a few weeks
back, Chris Barker's insanely comprehensive
thread of sitcoms made into classic art has
broken the internet, and Chris has made a
version you can order as a book for Xmas. He
says, "Tell your friends, tell your family
(unless you're buying it for them as a surprise
obviously)."
https://shop.printtrail.com/product/chris-barker-b...
* NO HTML - As front-end code gets heavier and
heavier, often for no particular reason,
old-school devs have been pushing back with
requests to consider using HTML in the nip as
God (Tim Berners-Lee) intended. Terence Eden
takes this one step further by showing you don't
even need HTML to communicate, and drew a lovely
version of the Arecibo message to prove it.
https://no-ht.ml
* WEBLOGS ARE BACK, BABY! Phil Gyford writes, "I
was tired of hearing 'no body blogs any more'
and wanted to show that there are so. many.
Blogs! I have loads more blogs and features to
add yet, and I hope you find something
interesting."
https://ooh.directory
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: SPONSORED LINKY-DINKY
Buy a 'Day Book'
B3ta reader Keith Ford writes, "I ran out of Day
books in my office, and saw shops wanted £20 for
a new Moleskine so I designed a custom day book
set out to keep track of everything. It just
helps me organise my thinking, and stops me
forgetting important things. It is on Amazon, so
I thought I would have a go at punting it in the
B3ta newsletter to sell a few."
https://bit.ly/3hSmrJ8
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: FESSHOLE
Your confessions fessed up for cheapo lols
Each week we ask you to confess stuff and then
tweet out a few that make us laugh:
* OOH DUCKY - "8 years ago I found a rubber duck
in my desk drawer & joked to colleagues that i
collect them. They started buying them for me &
now I've got 100's. Even clients joined in
giving me corporate branded ducks as gifts. For
my 40th they had a whip round & bought a rare
collectible."
* WHEELY GOOD IDEA - "When clearing out my dad's
house after he died, I kept his wheelchair. We
take it to Alton Towers and don't have to queue
for anything. Thanks dad."
* CUTE? - "My wife doesn't know but, I drop the
answer to Wordle into casual conversation each
morning. I like to think this subliminally helps
her in the very competitive daily Wordle
competition she has with her work colleagues.
She's now winning."
Join the absolutely astonishing numbers who
follow this bollocks, it's at 730k at time of
going to "print". Thanks Alan Sugar.
https://twitter.com/fesshole/
If you're stuck for Christmas present ideas -
there's plenty of funny and bad taste
confessions in the Fesshole book, also the odd
heartwarming one too.
https://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/18041903...
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: HEBTROCO SPONSORSHIP
Christmas means durable stocking fillers
It's coming up to Christmas, so it's time to buy
the men in your life some durable jeans and
shirts so they look swish for the new year. Buy
lots of them too so that Hebtro don't think it's
a bad idea to keep sponsoring this terrible
newsletter. Link goes to all the new stuff, so
get gift buying.
https://hebtro.co/new/
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: SITES IN BRIEF
Content made by people outside our inbox
* WHY NOT SLEEP WITH A HUGE MAN SIZED TEDDY BEAR
- because you're probably not this insane, but
the pics are worth a look.
https://www.puffybear.com/
* TOP GUN WITH A CAT - of course watching a big
silly action film with a kitty is going to be
better. This is canon now, this is the film Tom
Cruise made and we love him for it.
https://b3ta.com/links/Top_Gun_with_a_cat
* WHOLE FILMS IN A SINGLE PHOTO - Photographs of
entire films by using long exposure. You could
turn this into a quiz if you could be arsed,
although they all look a bit like the Shroud of
Turin. Or Rorschach tests of psychedelic minges.
https://www.jasonshulmanstudio.com/photographs-of-...
* THE ONLY INFOGRAPHIC THAT MATTERS - American
men's facial hair styles in college yearbooks
from 1998-2008. Please please please can this
fad be over so we're allowed to shave again.
https://twitter.com/conradhackett/status/159337014...
* SPECTRUM NEEDLEPOINT - you probably didn't
need to see the old absorb-them-up game The
Sentinel rendered in needlepoint, but it works
very well. Hopefully next week they'll tackle
Sam Fox Strip Poker, so that you can have a wank
and have something to wipe it up with in one go.
https://www.marine.st/en
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: FRIDAY GAME
And it's a clicky game
A surreal alchemy clicker in which you must
create all sorts of objects, starting with your
bodily fluids alone. The title comes from a
myth that the barnacle goose grows itself from
driftwood. The game runs along with that type
of witchy thinking as its internal logic, and is
a nicely atmospheric bit of nonsense.
https://everest-pipkin.com/barnacle-goose/
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: IMAGE CHALLENGE
Break the internet
Here's the best images from last week:
* Octo mocks the Tories
http://b3ta.com/board/11381149
* Plankton mocks Google
http://b3ta.com/board/11381088
* Monkeon mocks Musk
http://b3ta.com/board/11381043
* See all the other images from the 'Break the
internet' challenge:
http://b3ta.com/challenge/breakinternet/popular
>> This week: Food in Art <<
Add food to famous works of art, like soup cans
to Andy Warhol's work or something.
http://b3ta.com/challenge/foodinart/popular
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: OH AND WE SHOULD PIMP THE FESSHOLE SHOW AGAIN
December 21st, that London
Do come because your editor plans to do the show
and then hang around and chat with
b3tans/fessholians who fancy getting pissed.
Tickets are selling well, well we've sold over
half, so book now to avoid "disappointment".
https://www.designmynight.com/london/whats-on/come...
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: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE
Some ideas to kick you off
* ULTIMATE LOO READ - A toilet book that's
photographs of the labels of ingredients in
soap, air freshener etc, the stuff you read when
you forget the phone, with box outs of
interesting facts explaining what they all mean.
* PISS TEST - we need urine science to see which
creates the least piss splatter back on your
clothes, peeing in the water or peeing against
the bowl.
* TRANCENTRAL, THE POINT AND CLICK ADVENTURE -
it's 1990 and Bill Drummond has commissioned YOU
to write the KLF's first foray into gaming.
C'mon Monkeon. You can write this.
Send us your best, best stuff:
https://b3ta.com/mailus/
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: PATREON THANKS
We love all these people. Almost romantically.
*HEBTROCO* *JAMES O'BRIEN* *KATE* *MARK
MCCREADIE* *MR PHIL DONNELLY* *SHOWRAT* *SIMON
JAMES* *STOOBERT*
24-7 DEATH, ALAN CHARLTON, ALISTAIR, BRIAN
EELES, CHRIS BLAKENEY, CHRIS CARLINE, CHRIS
LOCKE, CRISS MORENO, IAN SHEEN, JAIMIE
VANDENBERGH, MARK ADAMSON, RICHARD BARCLAY,
SPAZZCAPTAIN, WENDY GOODE, NAT KING COLESLAW,
ALBERT MARSHMALLOW, DANIEL MUDFORD, CARL DENCH
Ed Zitron, Eugenie vT, Tom Dolan, Tom Wright,
lee burnett, Richard Matthias, @mattdawhit, Adam
Atack, Adam Cooney, Adam Lloyd, Adrian
Woodfield, Al Davidson, Albion Gray, Andy
Storrar, Andy Tillett, Andy Webber, Anna,
Anne-Marie Scott, Ben Watson, Bertram Wooster,
blossomshed, Carl Morgan, Catherine McAllister,
Chris Evans, Chris Shaw, Craig Tonks, Damien
Smith, Dan Stott, Daniel Brown, Dave Nattriss,
Dave Tickle, David Ault, David Catley, David
Gardiner, David King, David Mills, Derek Law,
Dominic Haigh, Emma Lay, Eric von Borstel, Faith
H. Martin, Fiona James, Fraser Lewry, Gaynor
Clarkson, Gia Milinovich, Greg Neilson, Gus
Nicol, Iain, Iain Brassington, Iain Fuller, Iain
Ruxton, Ian Beveridge, Ivan Kelly, James
Donnelly, James Kerry-Barnard, Jane Baker, Jason
Stewart, Jerry Quartley, Jim Dabell, Jim
Frayling, Jim MacArthur, Jim Woodward, Joe
McNally, Joe Simmonds, John Faragher, John
Foster, John Hammersley, John Matthews, Jude
Evans, Jm McNven, Kate Devlin, Kev Adams, Konrad
Petrusewicz, Martin Beer, Martin Holloway,
Martin Peache, matsimpsk, Matt Buchanan, Matt
Drewry, Matthew Collinge, Matthew Forman,
Matthew Morris, Matthew Wilkes, midnightrambler,
mil jamieson, Neil de Carteret, Nick Ross,
OBiW4N SHiNOBi, oliver bewes, Paul Cherry, Paul
Smith, Paul Westerman, Peter Ashtray, Peter
Coombe, peter wouda, Philip Kinchington,
pookong, Rich Pope, Richard Beckett, Rob Mahon,
Rob Vincent, Robbie Lesiuk, Ross Carter,
RossOverThere, Saleem Ahmad, Scott S. Kramer,
sean casely, Simon Cowan, Simon Holmes, Simon
McDougall, Simon waterfall, Stephen Waller,
Steve Anglesey, Steven Smith, Stuart Ashen, Tim
Jokl, Tim Mouncer, Tim Weaver, Tom Crick, Tom
Rees-Williams, Tom Ryan, TownsendsPublisher, Wil
Hadden, Will Goulden, AuntieSash Hazlewood,
Byron Geoffrey Farrow, Chef Twat, Chris Gough,
Chris Whitworth, Craig Turner, Daniel Chote,
Fergus McKay, fourstar, Geoff Tidey, Geoffrey
Balme, Graham Licence, James Macinnes, John
Higgs, Jonty Wareing, Mick Curtis, Rhys Wynne,
Rob Affleck, Chris Saunders, George Preston,
James O'Malley, Martin Davies, Mike Middleton,
Bex Cook, Hannah Chubb, Ben Ward, James Pearson,
Shane McHugh, Stevey Garland, Ciarn R, Craig
Liddell, Helen Gaskell, Christopher Orr, Will
Moody, Nick Morgan, Ben Brice, David Green,
Justin Brett, Louise Allen, Robin, Gavin Tommey,
Stuart Richards, Tobie Fysh, Pete, Carl Mesner
Lyons, Chris Johnson, Emma Sykes, Jan Spielhoff,
Mike Congreve, Sean Flanagan, Tom Freke, Sam
Anderson, Jess Baker, Adam Beardwood, David
Stark, Julie Brumlik, Alastair Dodd, Alexandre
Strube, Andrew Robinson, Andy Candler, Connor
Parslow, Craig Naples, Daniel Moeller, Duncan
STrickland, Harry, Irene Semanchuk, Joseph
Mulvaney, Michael Kitt, Nicky Hewgill, Paul
Topping, peter royal, Richard Speed, Sentient
Meatbag, Tim Beachy, Dominic Le Garsmeur, Mark
Benson, Danny Kodicek, Deny Coughlan, Nick Kent,
Russ Anderson, Adam Kaczmarek, Andrea Vail, Andy
Shirling, Ben Chapman, ben cowell-thomas, Ben
Groom, Ben Sugden, Cat Conner, Centuries of
Sound, Claire Allen, Claire Zolkwer, Darren John
Harris, Dave The Hammer Parry, David Bond, David
Ellinor, Daz Wright, Emily Payne, Emma Nicol,
FuzzyFreaks, Gary Sharp, Gwyn Fisher, Hugh
Noble, Iain M Barker, Ilya olak-Anti, Jennifer
Moquin, Jim Lucking, John M, Jon Bounds, Lee
Ball, Louis E, Lyra Jay, Marc Lindberg, mark
madgwick, Matt Carr, Michael Bryan, Mr Flibble,
Neil Ives, Nick, Nigel Ford, Oli, Paul Bayfield,
Paul Slade, Peter Wood, Phil Barns, Rachel
Tougas, Richard Abraham, Richard Midwinter,
Robert Purkis, Robert Simpson, Rohan, Sam Brown,
Seirian Hanner, Sham Courtney, Simon Lumb,
Stephen McAuley, Stewart C. Russell, Stphane,
Swedemason, Ted Bowyer, Thepfy, Tim Polglase,
Tom Clark, Tony East, wigglywigglyworm, Adam
Tickner, Al Napp, Andrew Harris, Bobod, Chris
Ward, Jace Otting, James Meers, John Griffiths,
Paul Mancini, Rob Potter, Tanya Kant, Victoria
Wood, Graham Freeman, Caroline Kahn, Matt.
EDITORIAL THANKS: Monkeon & Matt Round
additional links; HappyToast for image challenge
help; and Dr Dunno for extra support. Proofing
by Kat E. Thanks Kat. (You’re welcome - Kat)
And thank you to newish Patreons Ben Rout, Tim
Clarke, Simon Balch, Clemence Saussez, Derek
Colley. Martin Pritchard, Stephanie Wissinger,
Dion Ashton and Paul Blanchard. Thanks to EVEN
NEWER ONES: Fadgebadger, Mark (Mavis), Joshua
Rackstraw, Mike Stringer, Eliot Beer, Harri
Bionic, Chris Lindley, Stuart B, Jon Morris
Smith, Daniel Malbon, James Heaver and Phil
Lovell. And further thanks to newer ones: Ben
Oliver, James Wise, Claire Turner, Omnipiss,
Lindsay Mclaughlin, Mellyfish, Simon Edwards,
Dave Wong & Stafford Lawrence. NEWEST - special
love to NEW PATREON Phillip Spowart. NEW NEWSEST
- extra love love love to si Jobling & Daniel
Calvin. And bonus new love to Douglas Pennant,
Roy Santos & Will Thompson. We love you. OH GOD,
and more bonus love to Alex Collin-Oakley, Phil
McGuire & Paul Blanchard - you sexy people. And
Mike Powell and Damion Brown and Ross Carter and
PJ. Ooooh and John Daly. Oooh oooh ooh and Rich
Corcoran. Love you. And a special thank you to
the super generous Paul Topping. And a thank you
to the return of Carlos Fandango. Much
appreciated Carl. OOH AND NEW ONES! Alistair
Murray Swodeck, nevillebartos, Blargity Blarg
Blarg. YAY! Oh and more thanks to Ian Walker,
Attila Eros, Calanish and Mike Wolcom. WE LOVE
YOU. And new new thanks to Dale Goodall, Gillian
Parrot, Albion Gray & Gary Alan Norton. Thank
you, you kind humans. And... Leighton Stevenson,
Ben Cowell-Thomas & Phil Bennett. Thx.
And do please donate as you get occasional
"bonus" content. Maybe.
https://www.patreon.com/b3ta
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: I'M SORRY I'VE WRITTEN A JOKE
Grrrmachine wishes to make some apologies
How many drinks can a Prussian knight drink?
Two tonics.
https://b3ta.com/questions/imsorryivewrittenajoke/...
