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NEWSLETTER: "IF YOU SWAP 'REFLEX' FOR 'PENIS' IN THE DURAN SONG IT MAKES IT MUCH BETTER"

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This Week:
* GAME - Play 'DayBrix' every damn day
* MORE GAMES - Get AI to tell you the password?
* BEST OF FESSHOLE - horrible fesses never stop

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________  ____ __  ___
____/  _)|_  // /_/ _ | "We're saving the web 
___/  _ |/_ </ __/ __ | by screen-grabbing the  
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_|  most horrible bits"

B3ta email 862 - 26th May 2023

Read this issue using a Currah Microspeech:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue862

Subscribe, mooks: https://b3ta.com/subscribe/

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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE MADE THIS WEEK 
  Other than making white wee wee

  * ARE YOU READY FOR DAYBRIX - Matt Round has
  decided to have a go at one of those games that
  gives you a daily challenge, and he's taken
  Tetris, modified it a bit so all the shapes are
  made of three squares and added a heap of fine
  fine polish. 
https://vole.wtf/daybrix/

  * ARE YOU A DREGS ADDICT? - Chris Barker's comic
  book is out and ready to ship should you wish to
  buy a copy and you should because why not
  support poor Chris so that he doesn't have to
  beg for coins outside WHSmiths?
https://peakrill.bigcartel.com/product/dregs-of-ru...

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: HEBTROCO SPONSORSHIP
  Buy some lovely clothes - 30% off

  Hebtro make clothes and their unique selling
  point is that they're all made in the UK and
  designed to last so that the higher than normal
  price point works out better value overall.
  They're also an ideal place to buy a birthday
  present for the men in your life, or indeed, an
  early one for yourself. Oh and it's a Bank
  Holiday sale with 30% off - so there's never
  been a better time to invest hard in some sturdy
  clothes. 
https://hebtro.co/its-a-sale/

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: FESSHOLE 
  Your confessions fessed up for cheap lols

  Each week we ask you to type some bollocks into
  a Google Form and then we pick out a few to
  tweet out and see if anyone reports us to the
  authorities.

  * DATING - "My first Scottish Tinder date, he
  picked me up, we were driving for approx 30 mins
  & the police pulled us over. Turned out he
  picked me up in a stolen Audi and got lifted.
  Got taken home by the cops & they told me
  'that's what you get for meeting creepy cunts
  off the internet'."

  * REVENGE - "A young lad deliberately tripped my
  son up in the shop as he was walking with my
  wife. I was walking behind them & saw it happen
  so I made out I was looking at something on the
  shelf as the lad passed me, I stuck my leg
  backwards & caught the little cunt a beauty."

  * KARMA - "Managed to talk my girlfriend into
  becoming swingers because I wanted to fuck other
  girls. Went to one & she got mullered by about
  10 different cocks whilst no woman even looked
  at me. She's desperate to go back. Worst thing
  I've ever done."

  Join the 970k people who've followed this
  account thinking it was the funny one which
  posts photos of old rock stars looking like
  they're miserable old women in British soaps.
https://twitter.com/fesshole/

  You might as well buy the book, it costs about
  the same as one of those modern coffees that
  young people drink.
https://amzn.to/3EQU6wb

  TICKETS - We did the Manchester show and it went
  well largely due to the extraordinary audience
  confessions and we've got tickets for sale for
  Belfast, Newcastle and London, whilst Bristol is
  sold out. 
https://sites.google.com/view/fesshole

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: SITES IN BRIEF
  Load up these cool WAP sites on your Nokia

  * MODERATION GAME - a bit like that recent
  disinfo game we linked the other week, this is
  trying to tackle a modern online problem via a
  game. We bailed after a few moderation tasks,
  which we suppose is realistic.
https://moderatormayhem.engine.is/

  * COX-ZUCKER MACHINE - two men worked together
  to create the best named algorithm in history. 
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cox%E2%80%93Zucker_m...

  * HIGH SCORES - A big nerdy deep dive into some
  classic arcade high score tables.  Find out who
  all those initials belonged to before the day's
  top players replaced them all with POO and BUM.
https://thehistoryofhowweplay.wordpress.com/2023/0...

  * C64 WEB SERVER - "Does it run a website" isn't
  as popular as "Does it run Doom", but it's a
  more internet-friendly challenge when you
  actually load the easily slash-dotted results in
  your browser.  In this case, you can take a look
  at a website that's running on a C64.  Can
  someone buy alansugar dot com and get it to run
  on an Amstrad CPC and auto-respond to any
  questions from an Em@iler?
https://youtube.com/watch

  * GUESS THE PASSWORD - AI projects work quite
  nicely when it's pitting you, the human, against
  our future overlords.  In this case, can you get
  the AI to reveal sensitive information via the
  many alarming ways it has been found to be a
  security nightmare.
https://gandalf.lakera.ai

  * ICE CREAM VAN GAME - Slightly fiddly controls,
  but an enjoyably stupid idea for these
  alarmingly sunny days.  Entice children to your
  ice cream van with your music and serve them in
  time before the little bastards have a strop and
  kick it in.
https://playmedusa.itch.io/icecream-van

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: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE
  Some ideas to kick your off (written in a car)

  * RUDE PLATES - write a bit of code that finds
  every single potential rude registration plate.

  * RUDE VANS - a photo dictionary of every time
  someone has written a message on the back of the
  van by wiping their finger in the dirt "I wish
  my wife was this dirty" etc

  * BUS TWINS - a tale of two cities, exploring
  buses that have the same numbers in different
  parts of the UK. Presented by Michael Palin.

  Don't fail us, mail us:
https://b3ta.com/mailus/

  BTW: oxygenthiefmusic requests, "Similar to the
  'fewer' bot idea (last week), I'd like one that
  corrects 'on route' to 'en route' because that
  boils my piss."

-------------------------------------------------

: PATREON THANKS 
  We love all these people. Almost romantically.

  *HEBTROCO* *JAMES O'BRIEN* *KATE* *MARK
  MCCREADIE* *MR PHIL DONNELLY* *SHOWRAT* *SIMON
  JAMES* *STOOBERT*

  24-7 DEATH, ALAN CHARLTON, ALISTAIR, BRIAN
  EELES, CHRIS BLAKENEY, CHRIS CARLINE, CHRIS
  LOCKE, CRISS MORENO, IAN SHEEN, JAIMIE
  VANDENBERGH, MARK ADAMSON, RICHARD BARCLAY,
  SPAZZCAPTAIN, WENDY GOODE, NAT KING COLESLAW,
  ALBERT MARSHMALLOW, DANIEL MUDFORD, CARL DENCH

  Ed Zitron, Eugenie vT, Tom Dolan, Tom Wright,
  lee burnett, Richard Matthias, @mattdawhit, Adam
  Atack, Adam Cooney, Adam Lloyd, Adrian
  Woodfield, Al Davidson, Albion Gray, Andy
  Storrar, Andy Tillett, Andy Webber, Anna,
  Anne-Marie Scott, Ben Watson, Bertram Wooster,
  blossomshed, Carl Morgan, Catherine McAllister,
  Chris Evans, Chris Shaw, Craig Tonks, Damien
  Smith, Dan Stott, Daniel Brown, Dave Nattriss,
  Dave Tickle, David Ault, David Catley, David
  Gardiner, David King, David Mills, Derek Law,
  Dominic Haigh, Emma Lay, Eric von Borstel, Faith
  H. Martin, Fiona James, Fraser Lewry, Gaynor
  Clarkson, Gia Milinovich, Greg Neilson, Gus
  Nicol, Iain, Iain Brassington, Iain Fuller, Iain
  Ruxton, Ian Beveridge, Ivan Kelly, James
  Donnelly, James Kerry-Barnard, Jane Baker, Jason
  Stewart, Jerry Quartley, Jim Dabell, Jim
  Frayling, Jim MacArthur, Jim Woodward, Joe
  McNally, Joe Simmonds, John Faragher, John
  Foster, John Hammersley, John Matthews, Jude
  Evans, Jm McNven, Kate Devlin, Kev Adams, Konrad
  Petrusewicz, Martin Beer, Martin Holloway,
  Martin Peache, matsimpsk, Matt Buchanan, Matt
  Drewry, Matthew Collinge, Matthew Forman,
  Matthew Morris, Matthew Wilkes, midnightrambler,
  mil jamieson, Neil de Carteret, Nick Ross,
  OBiW4N SHiNOBi, oliver bewes, Paul Cherry, Paul
  Smith, Paul Westerman, Peter Ashtray, Peter
  Coombe, peter wouda, Philip Kinchington,
  pookong, Rich Pope, Richard Beckett, Rob Mahon,
  Rob Vincent, Robbie Lesiuk, Ross Carter,
  RossOverThere, Saleem Ahmad, Scott S. Kramer,
  sean casely, Simon Cowan, Simon Holmes, Simon
  McDougall, Simon waterfall, Stephen Waller,
  Steve Anglesey, Steven Smith, Stuart Ashen, Tim
  Jokl, Tim Mouncer, Tim Weaver, Tom Crick, Tom
  Rees-Williams, Tom Ryan, TownsendsPublisher, Wil
  Hadden, Will Goulden, AuntieSash Hazlewood,
  Byron Geoffrey Farrow, Chef Twat, Chris Gough,
  Chris Whitworth, Craig Turner, Daniel Chote,
  Fergus McKay, fourstar, Geoff Tidey, Geoffrey
  Balme, Graham Licence, James Macinnes, John
  Higgs, Jonty Wareing, Mick Curtis, Rhys Wynne,
  Rob Affleck, Chris Saunders, George Preston,
  James O'Malley, Martin Davies, Mike Middleton,
  Bex Cook, Hannah Chubb, Ben Ward, James Pearson,
  Shane McHugh, Stevey Garland, Ciarn R, Craig
  Liddell, Helen Gaskell, Christopher Orr, Will
  Moody, Nick Morgan, Ben Brice, David Green,
  Justin Brett, Louise Allen, Robin, Gavin Tommey,
  Stuart Richards, Tobie Fysh, Pete, Carl Mesner
  Lyons, Chris Johnson, Emma Sykes, Jan Spielhoff,
  Mike Congreve, Sean Flanagan, Tom Freke, Sam
  Anderson, Jess Baker, Adam Beardwood, David
  Stark, Julie Brumlik, Alastair Dodd, Alexandre
  Strube, Andrew Robinson, Andy Candler, Connor
  Parslow, Craig Naples, Daniel Moeller, Duncan
  STrickland, Harry, Irene Semanchuk, Joseph
  Mulvaney, Michael Kitt, Nicky Hewgill, Paul
  Topping, peter royal, Richard Speed, Sentient
  Meatbag, Tim Beachy, Dominic Le Garsmeur, Mark
  Benson, Danny Kodicek, Deny Coughlan, Nick Kent,
  Russ Anderson, Adam Kaczmarek, Andrea Vail, Andy
  Shirling, Ben Chapman, ben cowell-thomas, Ben
  Groom, Ben Sugden, Cat Conner, Centuries of
  Sound, Claire Allen, Claire Zolkwer, Darren John
  Harris, Dave The Hammer Parry, David Bond, David
  Ellinor, Daz Wright, Emily Payne, Emma Nicol,
  FuzzyFreaks, Gary Sharp, Gwyn Fisher, Hugh
  Noble, Iain M Barker, Ilya olak-Anti, Jennifer
  Moquin, Jim Lucking, John M, Jon Bounds, Lee
  Ball, Louis E, Lyra Jay, Marc Lindberg, mark
  madgwick, Matt Carr, Michael Bryan, Mr Flibble,
  Neil Ives, Nick, Nigel Ford, Oli, Paul Bayfield,
  Paul Slade, Peter Wood, Phil Barns, Rachel
  Tougas, Richard Abraham, Richard Midwinter,
  Robert Purkis, Robert Simpson, Rohan, Sam Brown,
  Seirian Hanner, Sham Courtney, Simon Lumb,
  Stephen McAuley, Stewart C. Russell, Stphane,
  Swedemason, Ted Bowyer, Thepfy, Tim Polglase,
  Tom Clark, Tony East, wigglywigglyworm, Adam
  Tickner, Al Napp, Andrew Harris, Bobod, Chris
  Ward, Jace Otting, James Meers, John Griffiths,
  Paul Mancini, Rob Potter, Tanya Kant, Victoria
  Wood, Graham Freeman, Caroline Kahn, Matt.

  EDITORIAL THANKS: Monkeon & Matt Round
  additional links; HappyToast for image challenge
  help; and Dr Dunno for extra support. Proofing
  by Kat E. Thanks Kat. (Wotcha captain - Kat)

  And thank you to newish Patreons Ben Rout, Tim
  Clarke, Simon Balch, Clemence Saussez, Derek
  Colley. Martin Pritchard, Stephanie Wissinger,
  Dion Ashton and Paul Blanchard. Thanks to EVEN
  NEWER ONES: Fadgebadger, Mark (Mavis), Joshua
  Rackstraw, Mike Stringer, Eliot Beer, Harri
  Bionic, Chris Lindley, Stuart B, Jon Morris
  Smith, Daniel Malbon, James Heaver and Phil
  Lovell. And further thanks to newer ones: Ben
  Oliver, James Wise, Claire Turner, Omnipiss,
  Lindsay Mclaughlin, Mellyfish, Simon Edwards,
  Dave Wong & Stafford Lawrence. NEWEST - special
  love to NEW PATREON Phillip Spowart. NEW NEWSEST
  - extra love love love to si Jobling & Daniel
  Calvin. And bonus new love to Douglas Pennant,
  Roy Santos & Will Thompson. We love you. OH GOD,
  and more bonus love to Alex Collin-Oakley, Phil
  McGuire & Paul Blanchard - you sexy people. And
  Mike Powell and Damion Brown and Ross Carter and
  PJ. Ooooh and John Daly. Oooh oooh ooh and Rich
  Corcoran. Love you. And a special thank you to
  the super generous Paul Topping. And a thank you
  to the return of Carlos Fandango. Much
  appreciated Carl. OOH AND NEW ONES! Alistair
  Murray Swodeck, nevillebartos, Blargity Blarg
  Blarg. YAY! Oh and more thanks to Ian Walker,
  Attila Eros, Calanish and Mike Wolcom. WE LOVE
  YOU. And new new thanks to Dale Goodall, Gillian
  Parrot, Albion Gray & Gary Alan Norton. Thank
  you, you kind humans. And... Leighton Stevenson,
  Ben Cowell-Thomas & Phil Bennett. Thx. BONUS
  THANKS: Gillian Parrott, Funny_hat & Gub~gub.

  And do please donate as you get occasional
  "bonus" content. Maybe.
https://www.patreon.com/b3ta

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: AH FUCK IT, BONUS FESSHOLE

  "Shat myself while out walking - pulled off my
  boxers and lightly buried them in a wood. A year
  or so later, a body was discovered in the same
  wood. Thinking my soiled kecks might be found as
  'evidence', I went to the police station and
  explained. They're probably still laughing."


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