NEWSLETTER: ISSUE 9: THE CAT ISSUE
This Week:
- Cat Game
- Britain's First Cat Celebrity
- Top Five Cat Sites
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B3ta Issue 9 - 14 Sept 2001 - THE CAT ISSUE
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: Subscribe
Send blank mail to [email protected]
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: PLAY THE NEW B3TA GAME
What's New Pussy Cat?
We have taken the stupidest pictures of cats
on the Internet and created a fantastic new
game.
It tests the power of your memory by showing
you pictures of cats, and asking you which
one you haven't seen.
This may sound simple, but we are rubbish at
it, and can only reach level 9.
TIP: Be Zen. Relax and trust your instinct.
http://b3ta.com/catgame/
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Tiger penis soup is believed to be a cure
for impotence.
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: MEET TIDDLES
Britains first celebrity cat.
Tiddles - a revoltingly obese cat - lived in
the ladies' toilets in Paddington Station, London,
in the 1970's.
At three stone Tiddles weighed as much as a small
child.
"He had a wall of fan mail from all over the world.
He was the pet of the toilet attendant who stuffed
him with sweets and chocolate. He was so fat that
he could no longer walk," a Tiddles fan reminisces.
Tiddles had his own fridge and eventually ate himself
to death in 1983.
See Tiddles' girth for yourself:
http://www.fortunecity.com/greenfield/dreams/383/f...
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Cats cannot see directly under their noses.
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: TOP FIVE CAT SITES
Classic links for cat lovers
@ 5: Kat Puke
Do you want a site with a crap animation of a
vomiting cat and readers stories about
their own puking pets? Of course you do.
http://www.katpuke.com/puke.html
@ 4: Cats that look like Hitler
Watch out - they might invade Poland.
http://bes.ismennt.is/evropa/hitler_kisur.htm
@ 3: My Cat Hates You
Fantastic. Pictures of cats looking angry.
They think you are stupid, and they are right.
http://www.mycathatesyou.com/
@ 2: Kitty City
Buy antlers for your cat - a steal at $5.99 -
and laugh when he gets his head wedged in the
cat flap.
http://www.kittycity.com/halcatcos.html
@ 1: Cat Scan
Computer scanned images of cats underbellies.
Internet gold.
http://www.cat-scan.com/
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Rub a child's balloon on a cat and it will
stick to the ceiling.
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: ROBOT CAT TALKS TO YOUR GRANNY
So that you don't have to.
Matsushita Electric have made a robotic cat
called Tama, designed to be a conversation
partner for elderly people.
Tama can say up to 50 phrases, including
"Today is the Karaoke party - let's sing a lot",
and "Today is Wednesday - it is your day to go to
the hospital."
But unlike granny - it doesn't smell of wee.
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Female cats will attack their mates after sex -
boy pussies have spiky cocks which hurt like fuck.
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: CAT IDIOMS EXPLAINED
Stuff for the pub bores among you.
"Not Enough Room to Swing a Cat"
This expression, first recorded in 1771, is thought
to allude to the cat-o'-nine-tails, a whip with
nine lashes widely used to punish offenders in
the British military.
"Raining Cats and Dogs"
The Great Plague of 1665 took it's victims
indiscriminately: people, dogs and indeed cats.
After a storm, street gutters were sometimes
filled with animals corpses.
"Letting the Cat Out of the Bag"
In medieval times, unscrupulous market traders
would place kittens in bags, and sell them as pigs.
The trick was to run from the fleeced punter
before "the cat was let out of the bag."
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Felix - a French black and white tomcat - became
the first cat in space in 1963.
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: HELP B3TA HELP YOU
We want to know about the stuff you create.
Have you made something cool? Then tell us
at http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/ and we'll tell the world.
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Thanks:
Lucy - Tiddles fan.
Cal - http://www.iamcal.com/
Fraser - http://www.blogjam.com/
