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This Week:
* ANIM - Weebl Vs J-lo
* QUIZ - Sex or... stuff
* ANIM - Skippy The Goth Kangaroo

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____/  _)|_  // /_/ _ |      
___/  _ |/_ </ __/ __ |      "We're saving the
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_|       web ... together"

B3ta email 91 - 06 Jun 2003

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  Top week. Click your whack for this our kid

  >> Weebl & Bob: J-Lo Fest <<
  Isn't J-Lo great? She's got a fantastic arse
  yet she still keeps it real. Weebl pays
  tribute in the best Weebl & Bob cartoon in
  ages. The animation alone is a cut above.

  >> Retrogame Millionaire <<
  "This is probably a bit too geeky and obscure
  for the newsletter," bleeps Nick Humphries, 
  "but as you like looking at old Speccy
  screenshots..." Jesus fucking Christ he's got
  us pegged. We played this for 4 days straight 
  and haven't eaten at all. Huzzah. We're
  slim now.

  >> Skippy The Goth Kangaroo <<
  "I've made a new animation," squeals Matazone,
  "57 seconds long and a day's work, it's got
  kangaroos, goths and retro TV references."
  Yay. Made us giggle.

  >> Sex Quiz <<
  What would the b3ta newsletter be without a
  mucky quiz? This one's a fantastic effort by
  Artamnesia - can you tell from a facial
  expression whether someone's having sex or
  doing something else? We can't - a constant
  problem for us.

  >> Flip Flop Flyin' Music Vid <<
  "I made a video for a nice Italian band called
  Giardini di Miro," emotes Craig Robinson of
  cult design site Flipflopflyin. "I kinda ignored
  the lyrics and just followed the mood of the
  song." We didn't understand it at all, but it
  made all the little hairs on our arms stand
  on end. Watch it.

  >> Interactive Beatbox Frenzy <<
  Human beatboxing is brilliant to see. Now you 
  can recreate that experience electronically
  without the aid of lips. Thank Weebl and
  Rob Manuel for this slice of musical
  stupidity. Twats that they are.

  >> Voodoo Trombone Quartet <<
  Thorpe has beens contributing MP3s to b3ta
  for a while. Remember his Big Brother Jade
  track? Now he has a new band, and they all
  have trombones. They rock bells.


  Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates.

  >> Internet Pictionary <<
  iSketch has been knocking about for years.
  We're late in getting into it but now we're
  addicted. If you haven't played it then
  play it. Now. Kiss goodbye to getting
  any work done. BTW: There's often a b3ta

  >> Worst Singing Ever? << 
  "Hi, I am Wing!" writes Wing on her website,
  "I have been learning singing in New Zealand
  and I do performances in Rest Homes and
  Hospitals." Christ, aren't they suffering
  enough? BTW: Her rendition of The Carpenters'
  Close to You is a particular treat.

  >> Richard Herring Diary << 
  Remember Richard Herring? He was the fat bloke
  from Fist of Fun. He was funny. He still is,
  and now he's running a website with daily
  updates about what he's been up to. It's very
  entertaining. Apart from the section about
  collecting car registration numbers, which is
  kind of sad.  

  >> Icky World Records <<
  Ray Macaraeg of San Jose, California, USA, blew
  119 soap bubbles from a standard child's soap
  bubble container in 30 seconds with a live
  tarantula nestled inside his mouth. Why the
  fuck would you want to do something like that?

  >> The Customer is Always Wrong <<
  If you've ever worked with the public, you'll
  know they're all idiots. This guy entertainingly
  lambasts the fools who come into his computer
  games store. Click about a bit - there's a
  lot of good stuff here.

  >> 3D Floaty Snake <<
  Game. Pretty. Tricky. Woo fun clicky.

  >> Worst Country Song Titles... Ever! <<
  This is a list purported to contain the 
  worst country music song names in the world.
  However, we actually rather liked a few of
  them. Sample title, 'If I'd Killed You
  When I Wanted To, I'd be Out of Jail By

  >> The Nation Has a New Superhero <<
  Get ready to meet Angle-Grinder Man. He's a
  lone vigilante making a stand against car
  clampers. He's not the most impressive
  physical specimen in the world. We'd still do
  him, though.

  >> Bondage escape tips <<
  If, like us, you enjoy cross-dressing and tying
  yourself up, you may find this useful. This page
  is full of ways to get yourself loose when you've
  had your kinky fun. One idea is to freeze the 
  keys to your shackles in an ice cube.


  Short anims from b3ta people

  >> Invisible Washing Machine << 
  "I made this on the first day I had Flash,"
  snorts Squashynose, "Me and a friend got a bit
  tipsy, and decided that small furry creatures
  were a good idea." Yay. She's right.

  >> Cat Lounge Singer << 
  "I know you guys like your cute stuff at b3ta,"
  purrs Brian Mung, "So here's something cute."
  Blimey. Very pretty it is, too.

  >> Matrix 4 <<
  Suz has seen the new Matrix film and has tried
  to imagine what episode four might be like.
  But on a very tight budget. Mmm tight.


  Results from the Bad Song, Worse Movie Challenge

  Each week we run a competition to test your
  creative skills. We set a challenge and you
  open Photoshop and mess with our heads.

  Last week we wanted terrible movies that took
  their plots from bad songs:

  We asked B3ta boarder 'Mozza' to judge the
  entries - here are his 3 faves.

  Mozza writes -

  #1 "Theme From Shaft the Movie - Damn right!
     This made me laugh lots.  How many
     different Isaac Hayes would be needed to
     make the soundtrack for this film?
     Beautifully recursive.
     (Mystery Bob)

  #2 "Totally Addicted to Bass - I love the idea
     of jacking up with a graphic equaliser
     syringe. 'Nurse, give him 3 more dbs
     of Morphine' (Monkeon)

  #3 "Green Green Grass of Home - Tom Jones's
     face, his location and the fact that he's
     singing make him look like the happiest
     man alive." (Wiganer)

  "A special mention must also go to Slim, who
  entered the competition a staggering One
  Million times. This was my favourite:"

  >> This Weeks Challenge <<

  This week we've got a special announcement:
  next Friday is board member K3rry's birthday.
  He's donated some money to B3ta to fund a
  free board icon for the best entry to this
  week's challenge. What a nice man.
  As for the challenge, Rob and Thorpe suggested 
  "Celebrity Zoo"


  Follow-ups on previous stories.

  RATHERGOOD WINS WEBBY - "Er... Woo... And 
  inevitably yay", screaches Joel Veitch,
  "I've won two webbies. Fucking shitting hell.
  I'm going to jump up and down and flap my
  arms for two hours."

  * NICEY IN THE NEWS - Biscuits Alive! Nicey
  from NiceCupOfTeaAndaSitDown is now a media
  darling. The BBC reviewed his site and he was
  featured on UK TV show Richard & Judy as
  Britain's foremost authority on biscuits. 



  Make something cool and tell us about it. If
  you are in it then people will see your stuff.

  Things we'd really like to see include

  * 15 seconds of stupid. We've made this 
    section to allow people to join in
    the newsletter without having to slave
    over a hot computer for a month. C'mon,
    you can do it.

  * Real world stuff. You guys have done
    us proud this week with your web things. 
    But remember, we also like real world 
    projects. Stuff you've built, videoed etc.

  * Someone blowing 120 bubbles with a live
    tarantula nestled in their mouth. Rarrr.

  Send contributions to http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/

  BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't
  been featured then don't be put off - we
  look at everything you send us.


  Subscribe:  [email protected]
  Unsubscribe:  [email protected]



  This issue was edited by Rob Manuel with 
  David Stevenson.
  Links sent in by Simon Bedak, James Moore,
  force_motif, funkymonkey, Carl, rkbowen,
  Wilesy and LexWest.
  Additional linkage by Fraser Lewry.
  Board research by Fnord.
  Top Tippery by Greta Warren.
  Image challenge handled by Mike Trinder.
  Proofing by the bulbous b4ta baldies. (67174)


  TIP: To get bloodstains out of clothes, soak
  them in cold water for five minutes before
  sticking them in the wash. Lifts out the blood
  lovely. No-one need ever know.

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