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# The truth about the Great White.


...by the way, I was wondering if anyone has compiled their experiences with getting chosen for FP, maybe in a previous post? I've been trying like mad, making many of my posts 280 px's wide, and generally working hard on making good posts, but I never seem to get it quite right. Is there something special that the Magic Donkey looks for that I'm totally missing, or are my posts just too lame? Any insight will be greatly appreciated =) All my previous posts are in my profile (except for a few lame ones that are hopefully lost in the archives).

(And no, this is not some wacky scheme to get people to look at my stuff, I am genuinely curious).

Oh, and just so people don't think I'm a Fame Whore: my purpose in here is not to get an FP. I take tremendous joy from the comments people give my posts, and that is more than enough for little ol' me. That, and of course all the things all you guys post; this is a truly beautiful place. It's just that it would be really cool to have an FP =D

---
EDIT: Thanks all, I think I got it now =) 'Stop trying' Consider it done =)
(I helped save b3ta! tofukitten is a consumer whore! =D, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 13:27, archived)
# fnord's
law
(I helped save b3ta! zerolicious, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 13:28, archived)
# which is? =)
I'm new here, so you'll have to be a bit more specific (well, you don't *have* to, but it would help) =)
(I helped save b3ta! tofukitten is a consumer whore! =D, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 13:29, archived)
# you only get one
when you reach the point where you nolonger give a shit that you've got one
(I helped save b3ta! lemony, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 13:31, archived)
# the very brief surmise of it
is that things you work on for ages usually take more time to appreciate, whereas ideas you have that you can put together in 5 minutes have more of the instant laughability appeal that gets chosen for the front page.
Plus spending 5 mins on it you're not expecting it at all to get frontpaged because you aren't really trying for it.

There's a more coherent version way back in the spazz
(I helped save b3ta! Professor Fnord Regius Professor of B3ta Chronology, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 13:37, archived)
# is that real?
(I helped save b3ta! Sunshine Elephant, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 13:29, archived)
# I'll take that as a compliment =)
And yes, of course it's real. I'm just a really great photographer ;-)
(I helped save b3ta! tofukitten is a consumer whore! =D, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 13:30, archived)
# Well
the criteria is this

Funny/interesting/original pic
technically superb
New and exciting
Animals always help

No porn
(I helped save b3ta! koit WWW.HIGHASAKOIT.CO.UK, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 13:29, archived)
# funny and or clever and or well made and or surreal pics
should get on the fp.. in theory. Depends on the amount of crack the MD has been having..
(I helped save b3ta! Hugo Rune, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 13:29, archived)
# give him more crack
He's not feeling well.


/gwar
(I helped save b3ta! Razor What the fuck - a sig?, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 13:37, archived)
# The sure fire
100% jobsagood'un way to get a front page is to stop thinking about getting one.
(I helped save b3ta! bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 13:29, archived)
# That's actually what I've been doing...
I just got curious today =)
(I helped save b3ta! tofukitten is a consumer whore! =D, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 13:31, archived)
# wooo
your FP's are excellent!

*smarm*
(I helped save b3ta! Hugo Rune, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 13:31, archived)
# Yes,
cos I'm great.
(I helped save b3ta! bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 13:33, archived)
# You am.
I'm hungover (even hungunder).
(I helped save b3ta! Hugo Rune, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 13:34, archived)
# hehehe I remember Bez's Tips
from the Sunday Show
(I helped save b3ta! Professor Fnord Regius Professor of B3ta Chronology, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 13:32, archived)
# Oh,
and you're my hero =) saw the B3TA Canteen for the first time yesterday, and it totally rocked my world =) Thank you.
(I helped save b3ta! tofukitten is a consumer whore! =D, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 13:45, archived)
# 139 msg
and your complaning?

im on 1700 and have none
someone on here is on closer to 4000 and hav none

patience my friend it will come :P
(I helped save b3ta! Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 13:30, archived)
# it took me nigh on 4000
and lots of begging to get a sniff.
(I helped save b3ta! new_matt, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 13:32, archived)
# Yay
I got one with less than 500! It was crap though... :-)
(I helped save b3ta! splorp ®, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 13:34, archived)
# i got one after being a member less than two hours
*brags*
(I helped save b3ta! mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 13:38, archived)
# pfffft!
(I helped save b3ta! splorp ®, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 13:39, archived)
# What
did you smell of?
(I helped save b3ta! The Duke Of Your Fingers feels like an old man... mmm, tasty!, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 13:36, archived)
# I'm not complaining =)
I was just asking, because as a newbie I'm sure there are plenty of things that I'm not aware of, and I thought it couldn't hurt to ask =)
(I helped save b3ta! tofukitten is a consumer whore! =D, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 13:32, archived)
# I love that pic
and there is no law, I've made numerous realy realy funny and good pics and the crap ones always end up FP'd.* There is no law its just down to whos moderating and if they like it.
the rest is fnords law.

*this may not be true.
(I helped save b3ta! jiva nearly always up for a game of scrabble, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 13:31, archived)
# I think that Fnord is God.
Oh yes.
(I helped save b3ta! Hugo Rune, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 13:33, archived)
# I think
you have enough hummus to make the front page some day and probably not that far away either.

At the end of the day it's what captures people's attentions. Animations tend to be more effective due to the movement. Both of my front pages are anims. Other FPs are stills of exceptional quality (eg HumanDescent's work) or because they tickle someone's funny bone (eg Kitty Meow Meow's trip GIF that tells the tale of getting to a b3ta bash in London).

The best thing to do is watch what other people are making and what gets favourable comments. Those pics are the ones with the special qualities that a) get positive feedback and b) get FP'd!

Good luck, TofuKitten!
This comment will self destruct in 5 seconds...
(I helped save b3ta! Ratsta, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 13:34, archived)
# stop trying to get a front page
and just post stuff that you like
(I helped save b3ta! smirny ~(8(|), Wed 9 Jul 2003, 13:35, archived)
# I haven't been trying
although I thought keeping my work within the 280 limit wouldn't hurt =)
(I helped save b3ta! tofukitten is a consumer whore! =D, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 13:39, archived)
# but of course
everything you post should fit the 280 limit... just in case ;)
(I helped save b3ta! smirny ~(8(|), Wed 9 Jul 2003, 13:41, archived)
# I have had loads
the secret is spend hours and hours doing a great idea which you think everyone will love. Post it and then while waiting for the FP to arrive make a quick and dirty pic involving a kitten that takes about 2 seconds and post it. That'll FP and the masterpiece you made earlier will be largely ignored.

Foolproof*

* not 100% FACT. Actual Front Page may vary
(Baj does Minecraft - http://www.youtube.com/w92baj, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 13:37, archived)
# USe the force.
(I helped save b3ta! bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 13:41, archived)
# i
like this suggestion bestest!
(I helped save b3ta! smirny ~(8(|), Wed 9 Jul 2003, 13:42, archived)
# Call him Luke
that'll add weight.
(I helped save b3ta! koit WWW.HIGHASAKOIT.CO.UK, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 13:42, archived)