Stunt catI had a very slim black and white cat named Babs (named after Miss Babs of Acorn Antiques, if anyone recalls that).
Babs and i stayed at my girlfriend's flat, there was a big bedroom we shared, big bed, lots furniture and curtains.
I would place Babs on the wardrobe, and then sit in bed while she figured out the best route down which was usually : shelf, edge of dresser mirror, then front claws into the curtains. I would test her sometimes by angling the dresser mirror, or tying back the curtains.
One time she just took a flying jump about 12 feet from the top of the wardrobe onto the middle of the bed. Damn she was so smug about that, and wouldn't do the furniture/curtain stunt any longer.
So....
A new game was needed.
This involved me sitting in bed again with a tailors tape measure. Babs would lurk under the bed, and i would cast the measure like a fishing line. Tug tug tug on the tape meant i had a catch, and i would haul Babs up onto the bed. She would of course let go of the tape and run away back under the bed as soon as i made a grab for her.
This game, 'Fishing for Cats', could go on for hours.
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Wed 15 Oct 2003, 16:03,
archived)
Babs and i stayed at my girlfriend's flat, there was a big bedroom we shared, big bed, lots furniture and curtains.
I would place Babs on the wardrobe, and then sit in bed while she figured out the best route down which was usually : shelf, edge of dresser mirror, then front claws into the curtains. I would test her sometimes by angling the dresser mirror, or tying back the curtains.
One time she just took a flying jump about 12 feet from the top of the wardrobe onto the middle of the bed. Damn she was so smug about that, and wouldn't do the furniture/curtain stunt any longer.
So....
A new game was needed.
This involved me sitting in bed again with a tailors tape measure. Babs would lurk under the bed, and i would cast the measure like a fishing line. Tug tug tug on the tape meant i had a catch, and i would haul Babs up onto the bed. She would of course let go of the tape and run away back under the bed as soon as i made a grab for her.
This game, 'Fishing for Cats', could go on for hours.
Did you ever try...Making a cat dizzy. I once got slightly drunk and whilst stroking the cat with him in my arms, spun around as fast as I could for a few seconds before placing him gently back on the ground. If you try this at home, make sure there's lots of room... Chairman Miaow ran off as fast as he could - directly sideways and proceded to fall of a 10 foot ledge onto a gorse bush. He didn't let me pick him up ever again!
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ChairmanMiaow Stop! Look! Kitten!,
Wed 15 Oct 2003, 16:13,
archived)
Things to do with cats #34Did you know that if you wrap a newspaper around a cats body, leaving its legs free and secure it with sellotape, it can only walk sideways? Spooky.
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Wed 15 Oct 2003, 16:47,
archived)
more things to do with cats: the bean bag 'cat'apultstep 1: flatten all the beans out of one end of a bean bag
step 2: place a preferably sleepy cat on the flattened end
step 3: do a 'cannonball' onto the large end of the beanbag and watch your cat go flying. good idea to do this around a bed or a couch.
Simulacrum and verisimilitudeOnce and once only, I found an aerosol can of catnip spray. I gave my cat a blast in the face and got a similar dizzy reaction as your cat. Unfortunately, no gorse bush was near, nor ledge, but it was a riot to see the stoned kitty wobble around and flop onto his face.
He didn't seem to mind at all and finished up with a nice nap.
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Wed 15 Oct 2003, 16:54,
archived)
He didn't seem to mind at all and finished up with a nice nap.
bikes and dogsI grew up beside a wide river, with lots of estuary mud. One winter's day, when I was about 14, my dog Speck (ok, she was my dog, but I didn't name her, ok?) appeared from the river, covered in thick black foul-smalling crud. The tide was rising fast, but she had been wandering about in the shallows. Which was a bit strange, as she wasn't much of a water dog.
1/2 an hour later, there was enough water to give her a good wash, so I led her out to the riverbank, and threw her in. She came out clean, pissed off, and very cold.
I jumped on my bike, and got her to run up the lane beside me to get her warmed up. Of course, about 300 yards later, she ran straight across me, right under the front wheel, and gave a horrible yelp.
I went over the handlebars, and planted my face into the mud and gravel. Speck fucked off home like her arse was on fire, and I was left in a bloody tangle of limps and bicycle. After that, she never, ever, came near me when I got my bike out.
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Wed 15 Oct 2003, 16:19,
archived)
1/2 an hour later, there was enough water to give her a good wash, so I led her out to the riverbank, and threw her in. She came out clean, pissed off, and very cold.
I jumped on my bike, and got her to run up the lane beside me to get her warmed up. Of course, about 300 yards later, she ran straight across me, right under the front wheel, and gave a horrible yelp.
I went over the handlebars, and planted my face into the mud and gravel. Speck fucked off home like her arse was on fire, and I was left in a bloody tangle of limps and bicycle. After that, she never, ever, came near me when I got my bike out.