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# Me n FrankieValium have been on a culinary adventure!
We made 'Morrocan Death Slop', AKA, 'Morrocarghfuckingshit!'

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Ingredients:

Beef
Chicken
Water
Rice
Hellmann's BURGER SAUCE (fear it)
Curry Sauce
Salt
Pepper
Various Mixed Spices
Morrocan Seasoning
Shitlaods Of Cheddar Cheese.

Simply bung it all in a slowcooker for three hours, and go to the pub.

Upon our return, we tasted our lovely new invention.

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It was lacking something...

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Ah yes, fuckloads of Soy Sauce.

So we mixed in about a quarter of a large bottle of Soy Sauce, and ate.


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I now feel like a cement mixer.

I will report back with photo's of what it does to FrankieValium, as he is fucking determined to eat all of it...
(, Sat 24 Sep 2005, 0:18, archived)
# what the fuck is wrong with you!?
(, Sat 24 Sep 2005, 0:19, archived)
# Considerably more than there was this morning....
(, Sat 24 Sep 2005, 0:20, archived)
# FrankieValium
should grow a proper, joined up beard.
(, Sat 24 Sep 2005, 0:19, archived)
# Now now bob,
Don't be getting all Beard righteous.
(, Sat 24 Sep 2005, 0:21, archived)
# Beard Righteous
are my middle names.
(, Sat 24 Sep 2005, 0:21, archived)
# i demand you change your username
to reflect this.
(, Sat 24 Sep 2005, 0:22, archived)
# Mystery Beard Righteous Bob.
(, Sat 24 Sep 2005, 0:24, archived)
# yes.
do it forthwith.
(, Sat 24 Sep 2005, 0:25, archived)
# The sculpting of facial hair is the work of the devil.
In the Manley household any man who sculpts his facial hair or wears cologne is an outcast.
(, Sat 24 Sep 2005, 0:32, archived)
# Does shaving count?
That's all I do with my facial hair.
I trim it with scissors occasionally.
(, Sat 24 Sep 2005, 0:34, archived)
# Shaving is fine
As long as it is all or nothing - no poncing around with goatees outside of talk like a pirate season.
(, Sat 24 Sep 2005, 0:53, archived)
# he has a chirpy face
like someone who'd be a model used in an advert for PC support.
(, Sat 24 Sep 2005, 0:21, archived)
#
He's actually a foulmouthed cunt.
(, Sat 24 Sep 2005, 0:23, archived)
# with an exceptionally soft and clear complexion

metrosexual?
(, Sat 24 Sep 2005, 0:24, archived)
# Not at all.
I'd never live with a metrosexual in a million and one fucking years. I think he has a clear complexion as he's generally preserved in alcohol. I don't know if you noticed the bottle of vodka he's clutching...
(, Sat 24 Sep 2005, 0:26, archived)
# I thought that was the half empty bottle of soy sauce

does he get his nails done?
(, Sat 24 Sep 2005, 0:27, archived)
# No, he has some sort of skin problem with his hands
to the point where his nails are coming off. Looks like leprosy.
(, Sat 24 Sep 2005, 0:28, archived)
# the bloke who invented the term metrosexual was the witness at my wedding
he's a friend of my wifes and spent the wedding dinner complaining how others had misapropriated his term.

Photos....
www.marksimpson.com/pages/gallery.html
(, Sat 24 Sep 2005, 0:28, archived)
# What is his definition of it then?
(, Sat 24 Sep 2005, 0:29, archived)
# I can't remember
but he certainly gets excited by it all.

www.marksimpson.com/pages/metrosexual.html
(, Sat 24 Sep 2005, 0:30, archived)
# I understand it to mean a man whose image and mannersisms
are somewhat androgynous. And they irritate the hell out of me.
(, Sat 24 Sep 2005, 0:31, archived)
# this
very much so
(, Sat 24 Sep 2005, 0:32, archived)
# yeah.
I find myself wandering round town shouting "PICK A SIDE!!" at people. They think I'm doing magic tricks.
(, Sat 24 Sep 2005, 0:33, archived)
# "Pick a side!"
"What do I do with it, Mac?"
"Keep it, I've got 51 left..."
/Groucho Marx
(, Sat 24 Sep 2005, 0:38, archived)
# you need to stop
imposing socially constructed gender roles on people.
(, Sat 24 Sep 2005, 0:39, archived)
# They do it themselves...
(, Sat 24 Sep 2005, 0:40, archived)
# do they?
do they really?
(, Sat 24 Sep 2005, 0:41, archived)
# Quite a few do.
Probably.

I don't really know about shit like that.
(, Sat 24 Sep 2005, 0:43, archived)
# Well I do, and you're right.
They don't dress that way because they particularly want to. They dress that way because they think they should.

i've never met anyone like that who wasn't a shallow twat. They'll quite happily follow fashion and trends blindly, because everyone else is doing, and thats a seriously dangerous mentality to have.
(, Sat 24 Sep 2005, 0:46, archived)
# C'est true!
(, Sat 24 Sep 2005, 0:50, archived)
# nothing against gay people
just dont fcking act like soemthing you're not
(, Sat 24 Sep 2005, 0:42, archived)
# that's the thing though
why assign a strict label to a person?
A person may not be ready to identify themself as gay, or they consider themself bisexual, or they aren't gay at all, or they switch every 6 months, or they are a pre-op. There are a multitude of different ways of being, and it seems artificial and constraining to confine people to a given group.
(, Sat 24 Sep 2005, 0:46, archived)
# but theyre so happy to do it themselves.
It has nothing to do with a person's sexuality. It's a fashion thing.
(, Sat 24 Sep 2005, 0:47, archived)
# oh.
what's it matter then?
(, Sat 24 Sep 2005, 0:48, archived)
# Fashion is just one of many things in this world that piss me off
in a totally irrational way.

It annoys me that so many people are so happy to just be labelled up, like you say. I know it's their choice and all, but it still doesn't fail to wind me up. It's like no-one wants to be individual anymore.
(, Sat 24 Sep 2005, 0:50, archived)
# gotcha.
but maybe some people don't think of fashion as something personally defining. They rely on their personality and mind to be unique, not their clothes.
(, Sat 24 Sep 2005, 0:56, archived)
# If so, they're very much in a minority!
(, Sat 24 Sep 2005, 0:58, archived)
# But herein lies my argument.
Most of them don't. I've never met a so called "metrosexual" who wasn't a totally shallow cunt. And I've met a lot of them. I go to university. It's pretty much a question of what you see is what you get. They're like peacocks. Show off your pretty colours to find a mate, and then thats it. Thats about all there is to life.
(, Sat 24 Sep 2005, 0:58, archived)
# ah.
rather sad state of affairs.
(, Sat 24 Sep 2005, 1:00, archived)
# Exactly.
You noticed how many students look and dress the same?
(, Sat 24 Sep 2005, 0:57, archived)
# thats what
i meen
(, Sat 24 Sep 2005, 0:49, archived)
# hehehehehe
kid at my school: dresses with tight everything and the "latest fashions", used lotion and stuff like that constantly, is in the Gay-Straight Aliance (club thing not necacerially just for gayers but pretty much so), bends the wrist (hate that so much), i have seen photographic evidence of him dncing rather close with other guys, and is the only fucking MALE CHEARLEADER in the school

claims to not be gay

fuck taht shit, you're gay, cause i say so and you deserve it
(, Sat 24 Sep 2005, 0:41, archived)
# whatever,
let him get on with it and make his mindup in his own time.

edit 'you deserve it'? curious turn of phrase
(, Sat 24 Sep 2005, 0:46, archived)
# yeah, just
very annoying how he is so suprised of people mistaking him for gay

was even rather insuted once

repl to edit: yeah i know im tired and procrastinating, makes no sence now that i reread that-o well
(, Sat 24 Sep 2005, 0:47, archived)
# yeah - I think it's come to mean that
but I think his original idea had something to do with a figure invented by mens magazines to sell clothes and perfume to.
(, Sat 24 Sep 2005, 0:34, archived)
# Well, in that case I can see how it has been transformed
(, Sat 24 Sep 2005, 0:37, archived)
# Sex in the Newcastle / Paris underground?
Being turned on by tubes (not fallopian).
(, Sat 24 Sep 2005, 0:35, archived)
# GAY PORN
NSFW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(, Sat 24 Sep 2005, 0:29, archived)
# that makes him suitable
for employment at pc world then.
(, Sat 24 Sep 2005, 0:25, archived)
# lovely
(, Sat 24 Sep 2005, 0:21, archived)
# soy?
tabasco, was what was needed.
you have a nice day tomorrow...
(, Sat 24 Sep 2005, 0:22, archived)
# we were toying with the idea of putting cream in it...
but we don't have any cream. I don't think we have tabasco either...
(, Sat 24 Sep 2005, 0:23, archived)
# I have some jalapeno tabasco
which Tescos mysteriously delivered with my normal order.

I was actually quite pleased. Certainly better than the time they sent me un-asked for frozen sweetcorn.
(, Sat 24 Sep 2005, 0:26, archived)
# sounds like it needed more
salt if anything - cream wouldn't've helped, so like.. you know, don't worry or anything
(, Sat 24 Sep 2005, 0:28, archived)
# FUCK SALT!!
(, Sat 24 Sep 2005, 0:30, archived)
# I apologise for that.
Tourettes Guy is the funniest thing I've seen in a long time though...
(, Sat 24 Sep 2005, 0:30, archived)
# I tried watching those
but I seem to have missed something, as I'm not as gaga about it as everyone else.
(, Sat 24 Sep 2005, 0:34, archived)
# I more amused by the fact that he sounds exactly like me when I'm drunk.
Especially the "fuck Salt" bit...
(, Sat 24 Sep 2005, 0:36, archived)
# Not as good as my cheese, hazlenut stuffing and sliced chilli pizza
which also works as a sandwich. It really does.
(, Sat 24 Sep 2005, 0:22, archived)
# My first thought was "I'm gonna puke"
but the ingredients actually sound alright... if you minus the cheese.
(, Sat 24 Sep 2005, 0:23, archived)
# NEVER minus the cheese
any meal may be improved by grilling it with cheese. (except kiwi sorbet, trust me)
(, Sat 24 Sep 2005, 0:24, archived)
# I dont mind cheese as a topping
in the style of pizza, toasties or toasted cheese but within food ...
You're making me want to try kiwi sorbet and cheese now. Thank fuck most kiwi selling shops are close right now.
(, Sat 24 Sep 2005, 0:28, archived)
# True, cheese is best when applied externally
(to food only of course)
(, Sat 24 Sep 2005, 0:30, archived)
# should i be as excited as i am that i have that breadknife?
(, Sat 24 Sep 2005, 0:23, archived)
# yes
yes you should
(, Sat 24 Sep 2005, 0:24, archived)
# *spazzes with joy*
(, Sat 24 Sep 2005, 0:24, archived)
# Blow it up
It's not worth it, really.
(, Sat 24 Sep 2005, 0:25, archived)
# It'll come out bad...

Mine always do.
(, Sat 24 Sep 2005, 0:25, archived)
# that looks repugnant.
all that soy might dehydrate you too
(, Sat 24 Sep 2005, 0:30, archived)
# They have tons of vodka to replenish that moistue with i expect
(, Sat 24 Sep 2005, 0:32, archived)
# Yep.
(, Sat 24 Sep 2005, 0:33, archived)
# alcohol doesn't replenish
liquids, it does the opposite
(, Sat 24 Sep 2005, 0:35, archived)
# Not if you drink it with Irn Bru.
I fucking love Irn Bru.
(, Sat 24 Sep 2005, 0:36, archived)
# that's difficult to pronounce.
makes me uneasy.
(, Sat 24 Sep 2005, 0:37, archived)
# pronouced "Iron Brew"
(, Sat 24 Sep 2005, 0:48, archived)
# oh.
I was trying for something like "eeeriuyn brough"
(, Sat 24 Sep 2005, 0:57, archived)