b3ta.com board
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Home » Messageboard » XXX » Message 5847410 (Thread)

# DIY Discovery - weird lesbian graffiti behind the wallpaper
IT being the Easter Bank Hols, Mrs Coopsweb demanded that I actually do some DIY... now usually I hate doing anything like that - but after stripping the god-awful wallpaper in the front room, I came across several messages left by the former owner of the house pencilled into the plaster... detailng all of her relationships and breakups over a 10 year period...


'I can't go on without her - Aug 11th 1999'


'To my sweetheart Mary of Tunbridge Wells...'


'When she left me, it was like a light went out in my life, 7 June 1997'


'My sweetheart, Mary'

These are just a few of the best ones - other include poetry, shakespeare quotes and even political statements 'Pity the tories are still in' was the best one.

I am now sure I bought a house from a serial killer and/or someone seriously in need of home decorating advice....

Still. Made me laugh - and I though that b3ta would enjoy it. Got two more walls to strip... god knows what I'll find when I get around to it!
(I helped save b3ta! HSDriver was probably still at work on, Mon 17 Apr 2006, 2:02, archived)
# That is
one of the greatest things I have ever seen
(boltneck sacrificed a smurf to Cthulhu on, Mon 17 Apr 2006, 2:04, archived)
# Sounds like the words
of a serial killer. Knock through the walls, there may be limbs.
(I helped save b3ta! Smokey Bacon Crisps smell good, Mon 17 Apr 2006, 2:05, archived)
# If there are limbs
only pull them out halfway, so they stickout and freakout visitors
(boltneck sacrificed a smurf to Cthulhu on, Mon 17 Apr 2006, 2:07, archived)
# DIY
Hmm, seriously considering taking a sledge hammer to most walls - only problem is half the house is held up with no-more-nails and polyfila.

Still - atleast none of it was written in blood... I hope!
(I helped save b3ta! HSDriver was probably still at work on, Mon 17 Apr 2006, 2:08, archived)
# oops
Amityville all over

Good luck!
(I helped save b3ta! JD if you please? Save The Apostrophes, Mon 17 Apr 2006, 2:06, archived)
# gay ghost?!
do you know what happened to the previous occupant?
(The Brain I think, for you., Mon 17 Apr 2006, 2:09, archived)
# Yes
She went to live with her new partner down on the South Coast... but after this discovery I'm expecting the Murder Investigation Team anyday now to dig up the patio...
(I helped save b3ta! HSDriver was probably still at work on, Mon 17 Apr 2006, 2:12, archived)
# three cheers for myspace.
i might try and, er, 'friendify' you. whatever that means. :)
(I helped save b3ta! grey kid is breakdancing to save a community centre, Mon 17 Apr 2006, 2:15, archived)
# Knock yourself out...
... after the mess she left for us when we moved in, she deserves everything she gets. She even took all the lightbulbs.. (and anything else screwed down - toliet roll holders, towel rails.etc)
(I helped save b3ta! HSDriver was probably still at work on, Mon 17 Apr 2006, 2:17, archived)
# er...i'm missing something here.
you moved into another b3tans house? as IVV might say, 'any fule kno bettah!'

edit: wait, i think i see what's happened here, hehehe...i was on about 'the brain's' myspace site. you got one too?
(I helped save b3ta! grey kid is breakdancing to save a community centre, Mon 17 Apr 2006, 2:22, archived)
# Sorry - my bad...
.. thought you were going to post the images somewhere else.

Nope - I very much doubt she was a b3tan...
(I helped save b3ta! HSDriver was probably still at work on, Mon 17 Apr 2006, 2:26, archived)
# some people
i can just imagine her getting to her new house with her box of lightbulbs and being like "hmm, where shall i put all these lightbulbs, seeing as i actually had no need to bring them with me, as the person who vacated this house didn't maniacally take all them away"
(The Brain I think, for you., Mon 17 Apr 2006, 2:35, archived)
# woohoo!
yay for myspace!
(The Brain I think, for you., Mon 17 Apr 2006, 2:31, archived)
# looks like harry to me
but im not going to say why
(I helped save b3ta! Jamnog Sardines in her eyebrows, lobsters up and down, Mon 17 Apr 2006, 2:16, archived)
# Who's Harry?
Nope - it's definately 'Mary'.
(I helped save b3ta! HSDriver was probably still at work on, Mon 17 Apr 2006, 2:18, archived)
# Bonus Points...
..to anyone who can work out what the phrase "Mary of Tunbridge Wells, editor of Packing Week, the love of my life who left me!!" Means.

Seriously - I'm now thinking of digging up the garden myself, without waiting for the murder team...

(I helped save b3ta! HSDriver was probably still at work on, Mon 17 Apr 2006, 2:21, archived)
# Is it preceded by 'Here Lies'?
(I helped save b3ta! dingochutney *parp*, Mon 17 Apr 2006, 2:36, archived)
# Three More...

"She was my north...etc" (same poem as the one from Four Weddings...)


"Sue, 1am, 2002" - I don't even want to think what this one means? (Hopefully not time of death or anything)


And possibly the most disturbing - "I miss her, I threw away the best opportunity I ever had...."

Mrs Coopsweb has demanded that I paint over all of this tomorrow, because it's freaking us out.. but just incase the police need evidence....
(I helped save b3ta! HSDriver was probably still at work on, Mon 17 Apr 2006, 2:40, archived)
# Newsletter this
immediately. I reckon Rob would love it.
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 17 Apr 2006, 3:06, archived)