My computer is a cock...

*click for larger
(germz infecting your interwebs since 2009, Tue 18 Mar 2008, 1:46, archived)

yay

( Miss Scunner putting a donk on it, Tue 18 Mar 2008, 1:46, archived)

Dads are microwaving their kids and shit

( gronkpan MUSICIANS! www.zombiemoonrobots.com, Tue 18 Mar 2008, 1:47, archived)

I pressed cancel

( Pasanonic WARNING - May induce flouncing., Tue 18 Mar 2008, 1:52, archived)

Because you put it This Side Up,
side down?
(germz infecting your interwebs since 2009, Tue 18 Mar 2008, 1:54, archived)

I'm sorry, what is the icon to the left of Zone Alarm?

( Pedantichrist http://lordmanley.co.uk/gas/, Tue 18 Mar 2008, 1:47, archived)

are you busting my ballz?

(germz infecting your interwebs since 2009, Tue 18 Mar 2008, 1:48, archived)

Between Zone Alarm and Winamp?

( Pedantichrist http://lordmanley.co.uk/gas/, Tue 18 Mar 2008, 1:50, archived)

AOL Instant Messanger.
Keeps me connected to my peeps.
(germz infecting your interwebs since 2009, Tue 18 Mar 2008, 1:51, archived)

AOL?
What is wrong with you man?
( Pedantichrist http://lordmanley.co.uk/gas/, Tue 18 Mar 2008, 1:53, archived)

Well, It all started when my uncle raped me...
...and then I installed AOL Instant Messenger.
(germz infecting your interwebs since 2009, Tue 18 Mar 2008, 1:55, archived)

Was he any good?

( Pedantichrist http://lordmanley.co.uk/gas/, Tue 18 Mar 2008, 1:56, archived)

He knows the best position,
butt rape
(germz infecting your interwebs since 2009, Tue 18 Mar 2008, 1:56, archived)

Young flesh will stretch
and blood is only nature's own lubricant.
( Pedantichrist http://lordmanley.co.uk/gas/, Tue 18 Mar 2008, 1:57, archived)

Thats what she said!

(germz infecting your interwebs since 2009, Tue 18 Mar 2008, 1:58, archived)

some kind of
AOL virus.

Are you a process snob?
( Pasanonic WARNING - May induce flouncing., Tue 18 Mar 2008, 1:52, archived)

I am every kind of snob.

( Pedantichrist http://lordmanley.co.uk/gas/, Tue 18 Mar 2008, 1:53, archived)

See also

* Anti-elitism
* Chronological snobbery
* Classism
* Narcissism
* Pedant
* Spoiled brat
* Wannabe
* Pride
* Emotional insecurity

(germz infecting your interwebs since 2009, Tue 18 Mar 2008, 1:57, archived)

he's not anti-elitism ( you made that up )
he's quite fond of the elite. He seems to like me.
( Pasanonic WARNING - May induce flouncing., Tue 18 Mar 2008, 1:59, archived)

If he likes you, then he can't be a snob of everything..
are you calling him a liar?
(germz infecting your interwebs since 2009, Tue 18 Mar 2008, 2:00, archived)

It would not be the worst thing I have called him
and by our very nature we have to tell lies in order not to fracture your tiny minds.
( Pasanonic WARNING - May induce flouncing., Tue 18 Mar 2008, 2:05, archived)

Oh

(germz infecting your interwebs since 2009, Tue 18 Mar 2008, 2:06, archived)

Actually no,
I try very hard not to tell any lies at all.
( Pedantichrist http://lordmanley.co.uk/gas/, Tue 18 Mar 2008, 2:06, archived)

haha
*disbelieves*

Don't get all preachy on me now. We get on because we don't do that stuff.
( Pasanonic WARNING - May induce flouncing., Tue 18 Mar 2008, 2:08, archived)

Oh, I do not mind what other people do
I just cannot be arsed myself.

I can be remarkably deceptive without lying, of course.
( Pedantichrist http://lordmanley.co.uk/gas/, Tue 18 Mar 2008, 2:11, archived)

I am an elitist
and I am certainly not a chronological snob, since it is a joke.
I am classist to an extent,
I am a narcissist
I am not really a pedant, but I enjoy playing
I was not spoiled. At all.
Wannabe? Well, yeas, to an extent, but also a hasbeen.
Proud as fuck.
No, I am very secure with a nice little family.
( Pedantichrist http://lordmanley.co.uk/gas/, Tue 18 Mar 2008, 2:01, archived)

I was spoiled, to an extent.
it made up for the amount of mental torture I put up with.
( Pasanonic WARNING - May induce flouncing., Tue 18 Mar 2008, 2:06, archived)

Well, I was sent off to school.
I really appreciate it, but I do not think it was being spoiled.

We lived in a castle with no heating at all and used to get spanked by a headmaster who ended up in prison for buggering about with a boy in my class.
( Pedantichrist http://lordmanley.co.uk/gas/, Tue 18 Mar 2008, 2:07, archived)

Perversely I have always felt a little miffed that I wasn't good enough.

( Pedantichrist http://lordmanley.co.uk/gas/, Tue 18 Mar 2008, 2:08, archived)

haha.
My woodwork teacher was similarly dismissed and incarcerated. He was a fine tutor though. Just knew better than to come near me when had chisels in my hand. I boarded. I thought it was an adventure and was quite glad to be away from my dad as I did not really know him . ( He was at sea until I was 10, he was a bit of a stranger )
( Pasanonic WARNING - May induce flouncing., Tue 18 Mar 2008, 2:11, archived)

I boarded,
it was excellent fun.

I discussed it with my eldest today, as she is 6 and I started boarding full time at 7.

She didn't really believe that we had lessons on Saturdays and that I did not come home at weekends.

I cannot realy afford to send her to a proper school, it's about #3k / term, which will mean #30k in a few years time with my 3.

Keyboard appears to have gone yank on me.
( Pedantichrist http://lordmanley.co.uk/gas/, Tue 18 Mar 2008, 2:13, archived)

Bed!

( Pedantichrist http://lordmanley.co.uk/gas/, Tue 18 Mar 2008, 2:14, archived)

We can
chat about that anon. I'll be away soon anyway. It might be interesting to talk of school. We have not decided what to do with Connor. He's done prep and is currently in a private day school. I don't want him to board and neither does she, but she won't fucking give up work and it's a bone of contention. I want him home at night so i can educate him. School is a waste of a good brain.
( Pasanonic WARNING - May induce flouncing., Tue 18 Mar 2008, 2:18, archived)

You're probably not still here,
but you may wish to know that there is a key combo to change the language of your keyboard in Windows.
It's annoying, but can be disabled.
( Kamikaze Stoat April the 29th of August, Tue 18 Mar 2008, 3:01, archived)

What about your computers [plural] being a cock [singular]?

I almost said "you're", purely to bait the other pedants.

edit: NINJAAAAA!!!!
( The Hedgehog From Hell can't break a heart and have it, Tue 18 Mar 2008, 1:49, archived)

Thanks for lookin' out, Sonic!

(germz infecting your interwebs since 2009, Tue 18 Mar 2008, 1:50, archived)

No problem, z-germ.
May I call you z-germ?
( The Hedgehog From Hell can't break a heart and have it, Tue 18 Mar 2008, 1:54, archived)

Yes
What is the Z-Germ? Aidz?
(germz infecting your interwebs since 2009, Tue 18 Mar 2008, 1:55, archived)

It's the germ that turns you into a zombie, of course.
Don't you watch fifth-rate horror films?
( The Hedgehog From Hell can't break a heart and have it, Tue 18 Mar 2008, 1:57, archived)

Like ones from badmovies.org?
Zombie germz are cool.
(germz infecting your interwebs since 2009, Tue 18 Mar 2008, 2:00, archived)

but instead you mentioned them
in order to bate them?
( Pedantichrist http://lordmanley.co.uk/gas/, Tue 18 Mar 2008, 1:50, archived)

That's an interesting double-bluff you have there.
Cue 35 pedants frantically checking the definitions for "bate" and "bait".
( The Hedgehog From Hell can't break a heart and have it, Tue 18 Mar 2008, 1:53, archived)

I was quite pleased with it.
We are, of course, both correct.
( Pedantichrist http://lordmanley.co.uk/gas/, Tue 18 Mar 2008, 1:54, archived)

I thought it worked rather well.
Made me check, anyway.

Damn your eyes.
( The Hedgehog From Hell can't break a heart and have it, Tue 18 Mar 2008, 1:55, archived)

I have no idea who I am meeting on Wednesday or where.
Fuck.

Can you make my brain work - I do not even know what time at the moment and I might want to pub it.
( Pedantichrist http://lordmanley.co.uk/gas/, Tue 18 Mar 2008, 1:57, archived)

get a grip fatty.
Only you know who you need to meet and b3ta does not care.
I have to work tomorrow. I will take that out on some poor cunt later in the day.
( Pasanonic WARNING - May induce flouncing., Tue 18 Mar 2008, 2:00, archived)

Shit though
I need to prepare for a meeting which I have booked train tickets for, but I have no record of who I am meeting.

Shit.

It appears to be in either Soho or on the Strand. Anyone here work there?

[EDIT: or it might be Brick Lane]
( Pedantichrist http://lordmanley.co.uk/gas/, Tue 18 Mar 2008, 2:03, archived)

I refurbed a few video editing
suites in Soho. My mates pub is at the end of the Strand but Brick lane is just a Saturday morning junk hunt usually.
What's your dilemma?
( Pasanonic WARNING - May induce flouncing., Tue 18 Mar 2008, 2:07, archived)

I genuinely do not know who I am going to see.
I thought I knew, but I have just realised that I am working to prepare a presentation which is due on the 1st April, so what the fuck I am meant to be doing on Wednesday I have no idea.

I really do not know which client the meeting is with and it is too late to call anyone to find out.

Tomorrow I have a 3 hour meeting and 2 2 hour meetings, so I will end up here all fucking night tomorrow night preparing again.

I hope it's an afternoon job, I hate travelling up in the morning, although I do love the porridge at Paddington.
( Pedantichrist http://lordmanley.co.uk/gas/, Tue 18 Mar 2008, 2:10, archived)

bait traps
bate trolls. Standard internet idiot bating 101.
( Pasanonic WARNING - May induce flouncing., Tue 18 Mar 2008, 1:58, archived)

Yes, mastur.

( The Hedgehog From Hell can't break a heart and have it, Tue 18 Mar 2008, 2:00, archived)

But one could also bate traps
and bait trolls.

Standard internet idiot baiting 101
( Pedantichrist http://lordmanley.co.uk/gas/, Tue 18 Mar 2008, 2:04, archived)

Touché monsiuér

( Pasanonic WARNING - May induce flouncing., Tue 18 Mar 2008, 2:19, archived)