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# diamond pete #2


previously

(I helped save b3ta! Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Wed 3 Sep 2008, 0:52, archived)
# DID YOU CTRL+I?
(I helped save b3ta! MrPineapple .co.uk - TSHIRTS FOR SALE. I GIVE YOU GOOD PRICE., Wed 3 Sep 2008, 0:53, archived)
# DID I?
no. asswad
(I helped save b3ta! Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Wed 3 Sep 2008, 0:55, archived)
# Dork :(
(I helped save b3ta! MrPineapple .co.uk - TSHIRTS FOR SALE. I GIVE YOU GOOD PRICE., Wed 3 Sep 2008, 0:58, archived)
# Hahahah
I like Diamond Pete. :D
(I helped save b3ta! Killerkitti Like my coffee black, just like my metal, Wed 3 Sep 2008, 0:54, archived)
# Your grammar and syntax are well off Ash ;)
How do?
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 3 Sep 2008, 0:54, archived)
# Ash? eh?
i'm pretty dandy. i had a well easy shift at work but still got a tenner in tips. i've got the beginnings of a fun Diamond Pete story in the works and the missus is back in england tomorrow
(I helped save b3ta! Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Wed 3 Sep 2008, 0:56, archived)
# YAY!
I'm happy for you :)

But not for us, when she is around you don't post so much ;)
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 3 Sep 2008, 0:59, archived)
# actually i tend to post more when she's around :)
i haven't been on the leader post board all summer :)
(I helped save b3ta! Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Wed 3 Sep 2008, 1:00, archived)
# Fair enough.
My opinions are all based on two things.

Conjecture

and

Denim....
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 3 Sep 2008, 1:02, archived)
# bloody denim
(I helped save b3ta! Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Wed 3 Sep 2008, 1:13, archived)
# I fucking know!
It gets me in so much trouble!

I should just wear corduroy!
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 3 Sep 2008, 1:37, archived)
# shes doing a nekkid!
woo
(I helped save b3ta! Sheehan forevermore owes Ttssattsr beer, Wed 3 Sep 2008, 0:55, archived)
# not quite
its just a well tiny dress
(I helped save b3ta! Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Wed 3 Sep 2008, 0:55, archived)
# You can tell by her perpendicular muff!
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 3 Sep 2008, 1:00, archived)
# Generic noir response.
(Jeru War and Piss, Wed 3 Sep 2008, 0:55, archived)
# i only did this in the hope you'd post this
(I helped save b3ta! Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Wed 3 Sep 2008, 0:57, archived)
# I only posted it so I didn't have to criticise you blunt use of the word cunt which is ill fitting with the rest of the diction.
I had a noir slang site I was using a while back somewhere in my bookmarks, the word roscoe is sadly underused.
(Jeru War and Piss, Wed 3 Sep 2008, 0:59, archived)
# how would you have phrased it then?
(I helped save b3ta! Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Wed 3 Sep 2008, 1:01, archived)
# I would have said she was 'top dollar ankle'.
But obviously if you want to precisely go for a genital whiff reference then I imagine you would have to alter the rest of your noir patter around it, as classic noir wouldn't really use base terms abruptly like that. Especially as the majority of it was euphemistic slang even when they were being crude.
(Jeru War and Piss, Wed 3 Sep 2008, 1:05, archived)
# thats rather good advice actually.
is 'ankle' really suggestive enough though?
(I helped save b3ta! Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Wed 3 Sep 2008, 1:09, archived)
# It just means an attractive woman, rather than implicitily meaning a prostitute.
But I just felt it fitted together quite well, ankle seems to have a much nicer quality than dame or doll.

Try this, there aren't that many words but it was the only real reference I could find: www.miskatonic.org/slang.html

Pointless information, I searched for it hoping to try to use it to learn about slang and hopefully to slip a decent amount into my book, but I was quite concerned with not being able to do it well like A Clockwork Orange and just sounding terrible and contrived like Star Trek or every other Sci-Fi. I also had to look up oil rigging slang for another part.
(Jeru War and Piss, Wed 3 Sep 2008, 1:15, archived)
# thats part of the thing i'm looking to avoid with this story. i hate people telling stories with too much contrived jargon in.
how does "I could smell danger and expensive perfume on this top dollar twist" sound?
(I helped save b3ta! Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Wed 3 Sep 2008, 1:20, archived)
# Terrible.
Kitten is too frail and endearing a term. Women mean trouble and so on to these men.

*notices you changed word literally as I hit the reply button*

Twist is better. To be honest the synatx and speaking style doesn't sound typically noir, they were more like an odd extended monologue of thoughts and so on than an actual narration. So it would be more:

"She was high class ankle. The smell of trouble was all over her as thick as the/her cheap perfume." - those kind of characters always say cheap perfume, anything else just sounds weird regardless of whether it's supposed to be a high class hooker or not.
(Jeru War and Piss, Wed 3 Sep 2008, 1:26, archived)
# i'm not really aiming for perfect pastiche of noir really
we'll see what happens as the story progresses, i don't want to do out and out piss take or a proper noir story, we'll see.

thanks for that glossary, it'll be handy.
(I helped save b3ta! Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Wed 3 Sep 2008, 1:36, archived)
# I was actually going to do either a parody noir story, or a sort of typically dark and emotionally crippled one but with a woman at one point.
Then I realised I can't even finish the one book I've started so abandoned that idea fairly swiftly before I even bothered researching it.

I do do a passable imitation at times though, the weird Blue Jame esque monologue, which I had to do in third person due to the restraints of the story, for the b3ta bunk3r writing thing was at least fairly authentic.
(Jeru War and Piss, Wed 3 Sep 2008, 1:39, archived)
# whats this b3ta bunk3r writing thing?
(I helped save b3ta! Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Wed 3 Sep 2008, 1:44, archived)
# Sort of writing add a chapter project they decided to do.
b3tabunker.ning.com/forum/topic/show?id=2251263%3ATopic%3A1471

To be honest it's decidedly less b3talically bizarre than I expected, and more seriously trying to attempt plot and intruige (though in my opinion there's nothing worse than trying to write a serious story, there's more subtle methods, reason and motivation than I could even go into - hence why haven't tried ever since the first draft of my book *shudder*).

My post is on the second page, and to be honest I don't think the preceding chapter even establishes it or makes it make any more sense, other than perhaps the last two lines.
(Jeru War and Piss, Wed 3 Sep 2008, 1:52, archived)
# Pffft!
Haven't seen this before and it is all of the aceness!
(I helped save b3ta! Prequal This is serious business. Very serious., Wed 3 Sep 2008, 0:58, archived)
# WHO ARE YOU?!?!?!
;)
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 3 Sep 2008, 1:01, archived)
# Who are any of us?
Are we real?
Who's feet are those?
Does the light go off when you close the fridge door?
If you don't eat this chikin, I'll kill two more chikins.
Is it cos I is black?
(I helped save b3ta! Prequal This is serious business. Very serious., Wed 3 Sep 2008, 1:05, archived)
# Well,
Yes, yes we are. Otherwise I wouldnt have made such an awesome Cheese and Onion Pie tonight.

Probably King James'.

Yes it does, when I was about 10 I tested my fridge on it.

Good! Means more fried goodness for me!

No. The fact that you asked that, proves that you are a white middle class person!

NEXT!
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 3 Sep 2008, 1:09, archived)
# Cheese and onion. The most awesome combination.
You fry your chikin? Are you black and from the southern states of The States?

I MIGHT not be what you described.

Who am I?
(I helped save b3ta! Prequal This is serious business. Very serious., Wed 3 Sep 2008, 1:14, archived)
# YOU ARE JEREMY PAXMAN!
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 3 Sep 2008, 1:43, archived)
# Its a good guess, but its not right
What's Mr Chips doing now?
(I helped save b3ta! Prequal This is serious business. Very serious., Wed 3 Sep 2008, 1:55, archived)
# Making gay porn in Slovenia?
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 3 Sep 2008, 2:15, archived)
# Excellent!
 
(I helped save b3ta! Tangy bzzzzzzzzt, Wed 3 Sep 2008, 1:00, archived)
# superbly funny and genuinely surprising
great punch-line.

woo!

(I helped save b3ta! revmoola was thinking about a software problem, Wed 3 Sep 2008, 1:22, archived)
# her boobs are all out of whack.
(I helped save b3ta! Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Wed 3 Sep 2008, 0:56, archived)
# she could do with a bit more boob probably.
but i'm really not very good at them
(I helped save b3ta! Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Wed 3 Sep 2008, 0:58, archived)
#
www.youtube.com/watch?v=q4aEJ_6TNZQ
 
(I helped save b3ta! Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Wed 3 Sep 2008, 1:00, archived)
# haha ace
(I helped save b3ta! Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Wed 3 Sep 2008, 1:03, archived)
# maybe you could get JJ to add some guest boobage
(Ravenous Bugblatter Beast This content may not be working. Please try again., Wed 3 Sep 2008, 1:00, archived)
# He'd add a tail too.
(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Wed 3 Sep 2008, 1:01, archived)
# HE'S NOT A FURRY HE JUST LIKES DISNEY CHARACTERS AND ALSO ANIMAL CLUNGE.
(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Wed 3 Sep 2008, 1:02, archived)
# Pfffft
Like it.
(tapeworm depressed beyond tablets, Wed 3 Sep 2008, 0:56, archived)
# purdy
(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Wed 3 Sep 2008, 0:59, archived)
# CALVIN AND HOBBeS
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Scunner She’s a he, technically, but she’s scalding hot, Wed 3 Sep 2008, 1:03, archived)
# Tracer Bullet does definately influence Diamond Pete
i'm trying not use "i got six slugs in me, ones a bullet, the rest are bourbon"
(I helped save b3ta! Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Wed 3 Sep 2008, 1:05, archived)
# :D
I love it
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Scunner She’s a he, technically, but she’s scalding hot, Wed 3 Sep 2008, 1:06, archived)
# haha
gameif bush beating in mince-mustard.
(I helped save b3ta! hanke murphy, I'm a mess, Wed 3 Sep 2008, 1:05, archived)