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# I just totally invented a new Superhero.
His name is Jizztobrum-man! His super power is that he can Jizz all the way to brum from anywhere in the world! Which I thought was pointless, until I just totally remembered that Adrian Chiles lives in Birmingham, and it would be hilarious if he were constantly being spunked in the eye whilst walking down the high street.

Well anyway, here he is....

JIZZ TO BRUM MAN!



He is totally awesome! Notice how the logo on his suit is actually a J. Clever huh?

www.b3ta.com/board/9728633
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 2:32, archived)
# i love you Jizz to Brum Man,
even if no-one else does :(
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 2:39, archived)
# THIS IS FUCKING ACE
*Immediately buys up the film rights*
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 2:40, archived)
# I just scrolled down after posting and noticed
the whole mindpiss scenario :D

JIZZ IN SPACE!
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 2:41, archived)
# I am just picturing a big seething mass of jizz in zero gravity
DON'T GET IT IN YOUR EYES, SPACE MAN
(I helped save b3ta! Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 2:43, archived)
# I'm sure it would all find it's way safely into Adrian Chiles's face.
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 2:44, archived)
# They have very tiny jet engines,
Jizz to Brum mans spermses.
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 2:45, archived)
# I am still dubious as to the impact all of this will have on crime.
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 3:00, archived)
# Are you implying that there are no crimes in Birmingham?
He could spunk in someone's eye all the way from Sao Tome and Principe just as they were running out of some bank doors after robbing it?

He could vinegar stroke into a rapists eye just as they are pulling their pants down whilst he is holidaying in the Central African Republic?

The possibilities are endless*



*endless finite
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 3:04, archived)
# Also, he could save the lives of people
who are choking by lubing their throats with his LONG RANGE SPUNKILES!
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 3:05, archived)
# It would almost be funnier if he fought crime and saved lives by jizzing into people's eyes / mouths but had no super powers.
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 3:55, archived)
# and a cock for a head, it seems.
do you fly upside down?


 
(I helped save b3ta! Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 2:42, archived)
# Well he has to spunk out of somewhere,
I totally forgot to give him a fly in his costume....
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 2:44, archived)
# I assumed it was velcro like those stripper pants.
(I helped save b3ta! Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 2:49, archived)
# That would just be ridiculous!
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 2:51, archived)
# Massive oversight :-(
I had kind of pictured him as being naked from the waist down.
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 2:50, archived)
# Also I think we need to explain to people why he doesn't have a cape like most superheroes.
www.b3ta.com/board/9728645
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 2:53, archived)
# Fair point!
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 2:55, archived)
# grreagh!
(Rattlehead all time with the gay, forever touching, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 3:25, archived)
# Aww, he looks SO SNUGGLEY!
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 3:51, archived)
# Does he have a jizzmobile?
(I helped save b3ta! Lord Kronos Go Team Pachyderm, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 2:42, archived)
# or a jizzcave?
 
OR A JIZZ BUTLER, FOR THAT MATTER
(I helped save b3ta! Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 2:43, archived)
# Definitely needs a jizz butler to hand him tissues.
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 3:43, archived)
# Yes,
it is much like Wonder Woman's invisible plane, except it isn't invisible, and it is shaped like a penis, and it isn't a plane. It is a kayak....
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 2:44, archived)
# Haha, I read that wrong.
I thought you meant like a mobile phone that people could ring him on when they needed him to jizz into Adrian Chiles's face.
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 2:47, archived)
# It could also have porn on it to help him to jizz.
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 2:54, archived)
# Jizz to Brum Man doesn't need porn.
He once saw the shower scene in Porky's and can now spunk on cue just by thinking about it....
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 2:57, archived)
# Oh, and you know how like all superheroes become superheroes
because they are avenging someones death?

Well he is avenging his mother's death. She was that Scandinavian bird who died from internal bleeding after having sex with a horse....
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 2:59, archived)
# This fails to explain why he is taking out his anger on Adrian Chiles.
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 3:01, archived)
# Well he isn't.
I am just imagining how hilarious it would be if he were to take that course of action....
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 3:05, archived)
# So his nemesis is a horse?
That could work, lots of comic book bad guys are based on animals.

Could the horse have a special hat?
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 3:11, archived)
# No you fool!
His nemesis is HOARSE from shouting at his kids when they're naughty. You're totally not getting this right now dude!
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 3:12, archived)
# I'm totally not :-(
Maybe I should stop writing my Dan Brown fan fiction and just go to bed.
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 3:22, archived)
# He's a real dickhead!
Arf!
(I helped save b3ta! Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 2:43, archived)
# LOLS!
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 2:45, archived)
# his belt is gay
(I helped save b3ta! PedroHin Come along & ride on a Flantastic Voyage, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 2:47, archived)
# Yes.
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 2:49, archived)
# The world needs a gay superhero.
All they had previously was Robin.

And Captain Planet.

And Superted.

And Bananaman.
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 2:58, archived)
# You also neglect Superman.
But then again, he wasn't even a superhero really. He just made that stuff up so that Lois didn't know why he was really disappearing so much. It was because he was buggering Jimmy the photographer in the bum-bum.
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 3:01, archived)
# ahhh, Jimmy Olsen, the well known cross-dresser
www.tgfa.org/comics/jimmy_olsen/jimmy_olsen.htm
 
(I helped save b3ta! Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 3:25, archived)
# you also forgot Karl Lagerfeld
(I helped save b3ta! PedroHin Come along & ride on a Flantastic Voyage, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 3:24, archived)
# 7 o'clock Show
won't seem the same.

Although when I see Christine I am Spunkman anyway.
(I helped save b3ta! gingerfreak Why? Why not., Wed 7 Oct 2009, 2:51, archived)
# I almost wholly concur,
apart from I am Jizzman when I see that gardening lady....
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 7 Oct 2009, 2:56, archived)