NEWSLETTER: ISSUE 81: "RE: YOUR QUERY"
This Week:
* ANIM - Fatcat & Satan
* VIDEO - Punk Rock Hamsters
* PHOTOS - Stupid Animals
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B3ta email 81 - 21 Mar 2003
Read this issue in your browser:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue81/
Subscribe: [email protected]
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: SWEARING CAT CARTOON
It's got cats and swearing. Yay.
"I've been playing about making a cartoon"
writes Rob Manuel, "It's about a big fat
cat who lives with Satan. There's lots of
swearing in it too."
http://b3ta.com/trampoline/
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: PUNK ROCK HAMSTERS
Are hamsters the new kittens?
"I've made a small movie with a singing
hamster", writes Grtz, "it's based on some
videos I found on a Japanese site. Hope you
like it." Wow. It's like the rathergood kitten
videos made real.
http://212.204.227.6/hamsterwoede.mov
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: STUPID ANIMALS
New site launched
When we started B3ta we looked at a lot of
sites for inspiration. One of our favourites
was called Stupid Animals. We loved the
simplicity and the humour: page upon page of
cats and dogs looking really dumb. Tom - the
site owner - has now bought a proper domain
name and added even more spazzy creatures.
If you live under a rock and haven't seen it
then check it out. The internet doesn't get
much better.
http://www.stupidanimals.co.uk/c1.html
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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK
Silly people, Etch-a-sketch, Pikey PC
>> The Silliest Photos in the World <<
Cornholio. What does that mean? We know
but we're not going to tell you. However
we are going to tell you that if you type
it into Google - you get the best photos
ever, we've picked our favourites and put
them here. Enjoy.
http://www.b3ta.com/features/cornholio/
>> Etch-a-sketch <<
ArnIIe has made an online version of the kids
favourite, Etch-a-sketch. He's also holding
a little competition where you can submit
your own pictures. We're rubbish. We can only
make it draw cocks. Can you do better?
http://www.arniie.com/sections/user/etch.php
>> Pikey PC <<
"I'm on spring break this week.", writes Alex
Stevenson, "I've been bored out of my mind and
thought up a nice little project to keep me
busy." Wow. You know that case modification
stuff where nerds turn standard PCs into
cool glowing boxes? This is better. This uses
a cardboard box and looks absolutely crap.
http://hlatlas.com/misc/tehbox.html
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: SITES IN BRIEF
Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates.
>> Monkeys! Disabled People! <<
George is a quadriplegic. Poor sod. He can't
even play a CD. However, George has a friend,
a helpful capuchin monkey who can even mop
his brow. Watch this touching video. Er.. and
try not to think whether their intimate
relationship extends further.
http://www.helpinghandsmonkeys.org/gizmo.mov
>> Realdoll Sex Orgy <<
Yeah yeah. We've all seen the realdoll site
with the scary latex sex dolls. But did you
know that these products are actually a bit
of a hit? And there's a thriving user
community that discuss their usage and
relationships with these dolls? This guy is
clearly a Norman Bates in waiting. He's got
4 of the lovelies and er.. arranged
them into a scene of a suburban lesbian orgy.
http://www.dollalbum.com/php-cgi/gallery2/Mygirls
>> Strange Album Art <<
Last week we featured albums that shouldn't
be made. This week? We've found the covers.
What a selection. Our favourite? This pre
Brian Eno "Music to make automobiles by."
http://www.showandtellmusic.com/pages/galleries/ga...
>> "I ripped out my teeth with pliers" <<
Ouch! This silly lady fancies herself as
an amateur dentist. The things people do
on web cams eh?
http://buggeroff.org/dental.html
>> 24 hours of Porn <<
Most porn videos are returned to the shop
with the tape stopped just a few minutes into
the action. Grant Stoddard theorises that a man
may only watch 24 hours of porn in his life.
He decided to do it in one day. Read his story.
http://www.nerve.com/regulars/ididitforscience/24h...
>> Superman, First Issue <<
Someone has scanned in the first issue of the
Superman comic from 1938. It's fascinating.
Particularly the odd bits of period detail
like the colouring in competition where you
could win a whole $1.
http://xroads.virginia.edu/~UG02/yeung/actioncomic...
>> UK Family Tree <<
We think this is wicked. The people behind
the famous friendsreunited website have a new
thing. They're asking you to submit details
about your family. What's in it for you?
If enough people join in then we'll be able
to find out how everybody in the UK is related
to everyone else. Fascinating. How can we
say this stronger? Go there. Submit your
details. Send it to your family. We want this
site to work.
http://www.genesconnected.co.uk
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: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
Results from the Euphemisms Challenge
Each week we run a competition to test your
creative skills. We set a challenge and you
open Photoshop and mess with our heads.
Last week we wanted euphemisms:
http://b3ta.com/challenge/euphemisms/
We asked B3ta boarder 'Freddy Woo' to judge
the entries - here are his 3 faves.
Freddy writes -
#1 "Wibbly Pig - for sheer rudeness & crudeness
you can't go far wrong with this. (littlebean)
http://b3ta.com/board/930158
#2 "Groovy furniture - one of the best images
to use a random euphemism generator to
wander off into la-la-land. (jadeviper)
http://b3ta.com/board/921059
#3 "Mouse Wheel - I'll never scroll again without
thinking about this one." (yidaho)
http://b3ta.com/board/925029
>> This Weeks Challenge <<
This week, B3ta contributor 'Bovine' gave us
the suggestion, "Seaside amusements"
http://b3ta.com/challenge/amusements/
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: WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
Follow-ups on previous stories.
* DAVE GORMAN IS PISSED OFF - a while back
we interviewed Mr Gorman - a UK comedian most
famous for his TV programme where he
searched for other people with the same
name. He wants us to tell you to stop
emailing him saying "I've found another
Dave Gorman" Ok guys. His project is over.
Stop it.
http://b3ta.com/board/931230/
* MORE FREEBIES SENT IN - Amy Corbett from
Five TV sent us a pre-release of a TV
show called "Spider Attack" with the
message "too scary to watch it all ..."
* ERRATUM - Contrary to last weeks claim,
Switzerland is not in Northern Europe. B3ta
wishes to apologise unreservedly to this
nation of cuckoo fucking Nazi collaborators.
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: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE
Make something cool and tell us about it. If
you are in it then people will see your stuff.
Things we'd really like to see include
* EXPLODING HEAD MAN - why not tape fireworks
to your head and walk round a shopping
centre?
* HUMILIATING YOUR MATES - why not record
them singing in the shower? Or publish
their dodgy teenage song writing?
* MORE FREEBIES - we like getting stuff in
the post. We especially like films, toys
and music. And guns.
Send contributions to http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/
BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't
been featured then don't be put off - we look
at everything you send us.
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THANKS:
This issue was edited by Rob Manuel with
apologies to David Stevenson.
Stuff sent in by Daniel A. J, Madhat, Flibz,
Tom Gregory, Fraser.
Image challenge handled by Mike Trinder.
Proofing by the b4ta bayowups. (61842)
And Happy 40th Birthday on Sunday to Alasdair
from Wales. His wife Lin says, "It would be a
great birthday surprise if you could mention
it." She also wrote something about sheep
but we don't like to perpetuate national
stereotypes.
