Wanking Disasters Part IIDespite the warnings contained in our previous question on The Act of Onan, you all still appear to be masturbating like monkeys in a zoo. Tell us your stories of jerking the gherkin and double-clicking the mouse.
Suggested by Mrs Entity and DaveExclamationMark, voted for by YOU
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Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 12:22)
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Trapped in AfricaWhen I was trapped in Africa by an unfortunate civil war in the Congo, access to gentlemen's leisure literature was exceedingly limited. And, being at a stage in my life where I would have shagged a barbershop floor given half the chance, something had to be done.
So, heeding the dire warning that I could catch some dreadful sexual disease just by shaking hands with a vicar, I did what any grown man would do when trapped in this sort of situation:
I drew my own porn.
Sadly, my artistic talents are non-existent, and each and every drawing looked like the mutant progeny of Ann Widdecombe and and explosion at a Space Hopper factory.
It did the job.
These days, I can only get a stiffy in the pencil department at Hobbycraft*, which is rare on account of the ASBO**.
*Lie
** Also a lie
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Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 12:50,
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