My limited bus memories in order...
Bad - Birmingham c.1984, night bus Birmingham to Walsall, some fucker sets fire to the upstairs back seat then legs it. Stranded near Wednesbury for two hours waiting for a new bus.

Bad - Birmingham c.1984, night bus Birmingham to Walsall, fell asleep on it, woke up where I got on. Cunty bus driver made me pay again.

Bad - Birmingham c.1984, night bus Birmingham to Walsall, minding my own business on the top deck having a smoke, got punched in the face by some cunt for "looking at him funny".

Bad - Birmingham c.1984, night bus Birmingham to Walsall, quite pissed, broke arm falling down the stairs.

Good - Berlin c.1989, all I had on me was a 500 DM note (probably worth about £150 at the time) the driver called me a "Wichser" but let me stay on for nowt.

Bad - Glasgow c.1992, a man sat next to me and puked into his lap.

I've not used a bus since.
(zebby wasting irony here on, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 13:40, 2 replies)

Gawd
thats a long time without using a bus :-)
(Great Amy, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 14:17, closed)

Wichser
Well if you were called a wanker by the driver, I hope you at least managed to find some nubile kraut girl, sit on the seat behind her and spooge into her hair while riding said bus...
(airbiscuit last dropped a meaty one in the lift on, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 17:57, closed)