It aint all it's cracked up to be.....
Last year, when I was 38, I was 'seduced' by a 20 year old young lady at work. Well, when I say seduced she came over to me in the smoking room one day, sat on my lap and said "it's shaved, do you want to see" and promptly proceeded to place my hand on the evidence.

Whilst all my mates were jealous and there was the usual lads chorus of "go on my son" I definitely knew she was a 20 year old because:

1. It was like shagging a corpse, but slightly warmer (allegedly)
2. She got up at 2pm, farting and looking like frankensteins monster from the drinking session the night before.
3. My bathroom regularly had puke all over it from the session the night before
4. I would walk downstairs to the kitchen naked to get a drink only to find random student "friends" kipping on my sofa
5. The fridge got emptied whilst I was out. Where's my fucking sausages gone??

And to add insult to injury she was only 4'11 (I am 5'11). It was like fucking Frodo's sister and made me feel like Gary Glitter.

Thank god for women in their thirties. I love you all so much and am grateful for you every day.
(Mong The Merciless Older not wiser, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 10:01, 4 replies)

Re question 5
In such a relationship, it's always important to know where your Fucking Sausage has gone.

Have a click, Gandalf.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 10:10, closed)

Couldn't agree more
God bless women in their thirties... (especially those who take it up the shit pipe).
( SpankyHanky, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 10:10, closed)

^ This
Women who are comfortable with their sexuality and know exactly what they want are just exponentially better in bed than the goody-two-shoes variety.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 10:26, closed)

Not me but...
I had a friend who's nickname was Anal Partridge. Apparently he used to turn his partners over and shout "Ahaaaa!" just before he made them jump a mile.
(Mong The Merciless Older not wiser, Fri 5 Dec 2008, 20:07, closed)