So I'm a checkout monkey...
...in a well known DIY store, and to make the days bearable, myself and a number of other staff would spend the evenings getting trollied. This would be in 1988 and that would make me 18. We were very non-discriminatory, and all were welcome on the nights out. One of the better drinkers, and possibly the most fun on two legs was the middle aged, but well preserved Checkout Manageress. I loved Hendrix's music - she'd seen him play live.

One thing led to another, and suddenly we were consummating in her tiny car - a Fiat Uno, I believe. Work became fun - "I think I'll have fifth elephant to help with the cashing up" - this would be my queue to wheel the cash trolley into the secure room, escorted by her, lock the door, and spend a frenzied few minutes tallying up.

Things got complicated - there was a young, jealous, quarryman husband on the scene - I met him for the first time on his garden path - he was returning, I was leaving. "Who the FUCK are you..?" "Er, just dropping off a leaflet, mate"

He knew something was going on, and turned to violence. Unfortunately, without hard and fast evidence, he ended up pulping another colleague from the shop who was as innocent as a nun's chuff.

Then there was the time I introduced her to my schoolfriends (still in 6th form, see) - 'Twas in a nightclub and as I waved "hello" on seeing her enter, she walked straight up and belted me in the chops, in front of everyone, with the words "I hate the way you've made me feel about you" (Good song title, no?). She was a bit emotional, so I took her outside for some air and she threw her wedding ring into the River Avon. That was a surprise.

Still, mostly it was fun, fun, fun and when I left for Uni and ended it, all was amicable and neither of us had any regrets, only smiles, though as a tall fella, I didn't miss the back of the Uno much.

I believe I'm perhaps the only gentleman on the thread so far, because in 6 happy months, I never asked her age, though it was at least double mine.

(a few years later, she ended up marrying another assistant, some 2 years younger than me)
(Mousy Tongue ...Generally bemused by life..., Sun 7 Dec 2008, 3:19, 1 reply)

Homebase
Bath?
(nearlythere listens to Pure Reason Revolution, Sun 7 Dec 2008, 9:54, closed)