I've noticed
a lot of people mentioning how they've met, and evidently went on to have biblical relations with, people who turn out to be a lot older than they are.

Well, I find this extremely distressing. I reached the grand old age of 31 a few months ago, and yet still get asked for ID at least 50% of the time I try to enter a pub, the last time going a bit further as he obviously didn't believe it was my ID and asked me my date of birth. I was at a party on saturday and was assured I look around 20/21, which made me feel a bit better. I wish I did look around 21 though, as when I was 21 I looked almost exactly the same, but without the strange double chin that has appeared, despite only being ten and a half stone.

I know what you're thinking. You're thinking "Weyhey! Eh? Eh? I bet you get all the young girls throwing themselves at you! Eh? Eh?" Well, you don't know me very well, do you? Now I have to admit, I tend to attract the younger variety, as ladies my own age think I'm a "wee boy" (as one frightening creature bellowed in my ear once) but even when I do manage to ensnare one with my wiley charms, my body has developed a defence mechanism to get me out of any of that embarrassing sex carry on. It's called my brain.

I've had the brain of a fifty year old man for most of my post-primary school life. While my friends were all out drinking thunderbird and discovering why girls sat down to pee, I was playing Space Ace on my atari ST and watching Have I got News for You?

I never learned to talk to young ladies. I can manage it those closer to my own age, but they avoid me in case they get themselves arrested. It is the perfect example of a catch 22.
( baw__bag contains traces of nuts on, Tue 9 Dec 2008, 17:38, Reply)