The ‘Miracle Man’ of advertising…

When I was a wee nipper of 16, I did some work experience at an advertising agency in town. I was assigned a ‘Mentor’ in the slimy form of a filthy old 50-something perv known as Gus….Who, due to his unbelievable success in the industry, liked to be known as ‘Super G’. (Suffice to say, you’re right in your assumption – the bloke was a Galaxy-sized portion of frottage cheese).

Anyhoo, the day I arrived there was a huge problem at the firm. They had been given a big contract to advertise a product that was…well…a bit shit.

The product was some bollocks fluid that was meant to protect the paintwork on your car…(exciting, isn’t it?).. Anyway, it was called ‘Sure-Guard^TM’ and was officially as-dull-as-slug-dumps. Nobody could think of a good angle or slogan to sell these bottles of unadulterated wank...

But then incredibly, Gus briefly stopped chatting me up to spurt a veritable revelation to everyone in the vacinity. “I’m going to tell you all my advertising secret” He proclaimed to the bewildwerment of everyone around. “My right hand is blessed in the way of advertising…All I have to do is put a pencil in my hand, look the other way, and my magic hand will write the perfect slogan”

“For fucks’ sake, Super-twat” The managers yelped at him…but in desperation, and finding no other answers, they begrudgingly gave him a pencil…

Gus grasped it tightly, placed his hand on the table, then calmly looked the other way. Immediately his hand sprung into life…as if it had a mind of it’s own, and it began feverishly moving up and down (‘Must come in handy’ I thought to myself ) before watching the pencil make contact with the paper and he begin to scrawl…

Just a few seconds later, and what everybody agreed was the ultimate slogan was written down on the paper . He had just made something that had flummoxed the finest advertising minds for the last 6 months look simple – a piece of piss in fact. Everyone, me included, was stunned at this incredible display. Collectively, we yelled out our amazement at what we were witnessing:

We said…

Coo! – Gus’ hand ‘Sure-Guard’ Ad-ease!

…

And to stay on topic…I then let him shag me up the arse.
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 11 Dec 2008, 9:37, 4 replies)

damn you're good! click!
(twiceydrinker hmmm is it pint time?, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 9:39, closed)

Good one Pooflake
as usual :-)
(mon bison powered by magnets, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 9:42, closed)

oh, you
*high five*
(ShitBitch, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 9:44, closed)

ok
So what was the slogan?
(powervator and NONE SHALL PASS, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 12:29, closed)