Crappy PrizesCompetitions, raffles, give-aways... sure the prizes look great, but don't they always turn out a bit crap should you happen to win them?
The last raffle I bought tickets for, they'd just given away the all-expenses paid weekend in New York when my number came up. Rushing up to find out what I'd won, I was a little disappointed to be handed a box of "Biscuits for Cheese". Especially as they were busy serving the cheese course (complete with biscuits) as they drew the raffle.
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chthonic, Thu 4 Aug 2005, 11:16)
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Tony Hart is a lying cunt.Anyone remember that crappy art program 'Take Hart'? Y'know, the one with Morph, Tony Hart and his inept assistant Mr Bennet? Well, when I was six one of the pictures I drew ended up in 'The Gallery', a collection of shite pictures sent in by the kids who watched the program.
The prize for this? A fucking £5 book token. Oh, and a signed letter from Tony passing on his congratulations and a signed mini-certificate to stick in the book you bought with the token. Disappointing yes, but so far hardly 'crappy'.
Spin on a few years and I'm telling the missus the tale of one of my scribbles being on national telly and she asks to see the book and letter. Next time we're round my mum's I ask her if she kept it and off she goes up the attic and returns with said items (my mum's one of those who keeps EVERYTHING).
So I'm sat there beaming with pride at my 6 year-old doodling magnificence when the missus points out that the autograph on the letter and the one on the certificate in the book don't match.
I was shattered. Not only had I won a crappy book token but it turns out it was even signed by Tony Hart but by some BBC researcher or some such. Cunts.
I, like Tony Hart, have a massive cock.
(, Thu 4 Aug 2005, 15:41, Reply)
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