How to Shop Like a Decent Human Being
On behalf of everyone who has ever worked retail, here is a list of things that customers really, really ought to know.

1: You are not the first person to ever say “it must be free then!” when your item doesn’t scan. You are probably not the first person that day. In fact, odds are you aren’t the first person that hour. Please, for the love of god, stop making that joke people!

2: When you are asked whether you would like a carrier bag, do not respond with any of the following:

• “If you like”
• “Whatever”
• A detailed run down of every bag you are carrying and its contents
• “Yes please, I normally carry one with me but…*insert very long and unnecessary story*”
• “If you’ve got one”

3: Be nice to us (not *too* nice - I'm talking to you, you creepy middle aged men) and odds are you will get better, faster service, a charming smile and occasionally if you are a particuarly delightful "regular" you'll find out when you get home that an item in your bag "didn't scan". ;)

4: Most smaller shops are short of notes – especially fivers - first thing in the morning. If you are buying something for 30p at 9.15am, please, please try not to pay with a twenty if you can help it.

5: On a similar note, when you are handed £19.70 in pound coins there’s no need to ask “...don’t you have any notes?” - are you hoping to be told “oh yes, we have lots, I just thought you’d enjoy all the shiny things!”?

6: It is very, very common for customers to put products back on the wrong shelf (stop that, by the way!), and there is no “law” that says you can get the stereo for £1.99 because some moron put it back on the shelf with the £1.99 label. That’s not how it works. Please take the extra 3 seconds to read to WORDS on the shelf label as well as the pretty numbers.

7: If you’re looking for a particular product and a staff member informs you we have sold out of it, please don’t respond with “...why?”. There is really no answer we can give to that. People’s shopping desires are sometimes unpredictable.

8: If you storm out of a shop yelling “I’m never coming back here again!” I promise you, absolutely promise you, as soon as you left all the staff members muttered “thank god for that” to one another. Why do arsehat customers think that that is such a threat? I guarantee you do not spend enough money in that shop for anyone to give a flying monkey whether you come back or not.

9: Queues happen. At busy times of the day (lunchtime, for example) they happen a lot. That’s one of the perils of shopping. You are not special, you don’t get to queue-jump, just go and stand with everyone else.

10: That said though, if there are at least 8 people behind you and only one till in the shop, then now might not be a good time to sort through all your copper at the desk. Just saying.

11: If you are over the age of 8, under the age of 80, fully able bodied, not heavily pregnant, and in a shopping complex with public toilets, then no it’s not unreasonable for the staff to say you can’t use the private staff toilet. Don’t make a scene, you’re only embarrassing yourself.

12: If you are being loud, rude, racist, destructive or violent, we can and will ask you to leave. Don't act surprised.

13: When addressing someone wearing the shop uniform/carrying a stack of cardboard boxes/standing behind a till/enquiring “can I help you?”, please do not open discourse by asking “do you work here?”

14: Nearly every shop in the world has a rubbish bin behind the till, on account of all the people who don’t want their receipts. If you ask nicely, I’m sure you can put your coke-can/apple core/Greggs bag in there. Now that you know that, there’s no need to screw up your trash and stuff it behind products on the shelves, you loonies.

15: On that same topic, STOP DROPPING YOUR UNWANTED RECEIPTS IN THE BASKET STACK, ARRRRRGGHH!!!!!

Now go out there are shop nicely!
(rudderless hippy, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 10:10, 6 replies)

Giving someone
exactly £19.70 in pound coins is a clever trick!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 11:11, closed)

I feel your pain
But I escaped.

www.b3ta.com/questions/customersfromhell/post239174
(oneltrchardonnay, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 11:47, closed)

Ah that takes me back
I used to work in a shop and the above comments sould be taught to kids in school to make other peoples lives easier.

Have a click
(Wooden meal is. Or is he?, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 12:51, closed)

the definition of a good customer
is if they can do all that!

every one of these has happened to me.

they should hand these out to the customers at the tills....
(pdawg, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 13:33, closed)

So
true. Have a click.
=)
(YayLady is cold, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 13:37, closed)

Top post, point 8 nails it...
...the sad thing is, those who most need to read this probably never will!
(bacontrout got ska, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 17:54, closed)