Photocopiers
I used to work in an office suppliers. Part of our job was to receive calls from angry customers whose printer/fax/photocopier had ceased to function (usually because they'd done something stupid). Very occasionally customers would come down to the shop in person to complain.

Anyway, one particular day I happened to land a shift with the new trainee. Now Melanie was what you might call clumsy - all the co-ordination of a blind-folded Mohammed Ali. Still, most of us had been trying to get into her pants since the day she started - she was one of those cute bohemian chics, small, slim, huge smile, gorgeous eyes and a mop of curly brown hair she wore almost like an Afro. No idea how she'd ended working in an office suppliers with a huge lump like me.

All went well for the first few hours of the shift and I even felt she was beginning to flirt a bit when this guy came it. From the start I could see he was the kind of self-important dick who'd come in and shout at us because he'd done something stupid and f**ked up his new fax machine or something. He was just waiting to burst. Unfortunately, Mel, being new, wasn't really used to dealing with arseholes like that and was all smiles as he approached the service counter. He made a bee-line for her and just started ranting about how his photocopier had leaked toner-fluid all over the floor and that it had done $1000 worth of damage to the carpet. He demanded replacement toner, money for the cleaning bill and, jabbing his finger in poor Mel's face, shouted that he was going to sue her personally if she didn't sort it all out for him.

Now, as you can imagine Mel was pretty upset by this twunt's behaviour. In fact, I think she was physically shaking. Still, she set off into the store room to get the guy his toner. I was busy serving another customer or I would have dealt with the guy myself.

Anyway, a few seconds later we heard a crash and a scream. It turns out that in order to reach up to get the right toner off the top shelf Mel had had to stand on a chair. As she was getting down she'd mis-judged her step and the full bottle of toner had fallen on her, bursting open and covering her hair. She ran out of the store room in tears.

The guy who she'd been serving started yelling about how incompetent we were, how he was going to sue us all and how he was never coming back to our store etc etc. By this time I'd finished with my customer so I went over to him, right up to him, stood to my full 6'4" (I weight nearly 330 pounds too - the guy just about came up to my nipple) and calmly, but menacingly asked if he'd like to make good on his threat to never come back now he'd finished upsetting at an innocent trainee.

He left, but not before he *cussed toner-'fro Mel*.

I'm so sorry...

Length? Too long.
(ComplexStuff Was confused by life on, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 12:47, Reply)