Nearly forgot this one
So, I had been working in the library for about 6 months and I had been promoted to the dizzying heights of "person on enquiry desk". This was normally only for the managers so I was rather chuffed at being entrusted to be able to deal with such things as customer complaints, payments for damaged stock and whatnot.

So there I am, on enquiry desk, master of all I survey. There were 3 public computers in use to the left of my desk. I casually take a brief glance at them all. Myspace, Yahoo mail, picture of Naomi Campbell in her underwear. All pretty usual stuff (we have naughty filters on the computers, and I hardly think a pouting Ms Campbell in her kecks is really porn). So I turn away and start doing some other work. About 10 minutes later I look round again - Myspace (different page), Yahoo (different page), same picture of Naomi Campbell. This strikes me as odd, since there's no writing on the page. Why on earth would this person have the same picture up for 10 minutes?

Oh fuck.

Oh fuck no.

My eyes sheepishly move down to look at his lap. He has a coat across his lap. One hand under the coat. Coat moving up and down. My first fucking day on enquiry desk.

Being a tad new and not a fan of confrontations, I legged it upstairs to the staffroom to get the big manager, who, I must say, was an absolute legend. "Marion! There's a man touching himself in the library!" I exclaimed, sounding like a telltale 4 year old on the playground. She didn't even flinch. She calmly put he rmug of tea down and said "okie dokes, show me where".

By the time we got back downstairs he'd scarpered (which is in itself gross - surely he'd want to wait for it to dry before attempting walking?).

I figured that we could easily get his name and address from his borrower record and send him a letter banning him for masturbating in a public library, just feet from old ladies and kids.

Nope.

Apparently we could only ban him if we confronted him while he was doing it.

Allow me to repeat that.

Apparently we could only ban him if we confronted him WHILE HE WAS DOING IT.

I don't know about you lot, but if an individual is messed up enough to whack off in a public library, that's not the kind of person I feel comfortable approaching at all, especially not when he's doing it.
(GONEism, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 13:21, 2 replies)

HA!
At least put it in the 'bank....



On a side note, you are really tearing up the boards this week. I wouldn't have thought this much could come from a library of all places....
(Scrumpy does not negotiate with terrorists,, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 13:31, closed)

Simple answer
Install VNC on the public computers, VNC in and remotely surf to one of the more well-known shock sites.
(gordonjcp, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 13:56, closed)