Part one of Darwin Award-esque behaviour
I am a tad clumsy. I will freely admit this. Too much drink over the years has also made me a trifle absent-minded. Which is never a good combination.

For starters, whilst not really cheating death, does fit in the spirit of the question. I tried to do a car window up. From the outside. I had quite casually stuck my arm in through the car window, and quite casually leant on the electric switch, and turned my attention elsewhere. It was only when my mates started shouting and I started to feel something pushing against my arm that I realised I had done something a bit silly. Thankfully the motor wasn't strong, otherwise I'd've quite happily lopped my arm off without realising.

Now onto the stuff that really does cheat death.

The most recent of these happened on last Monday, the second of Feb. There are two events that happened that day that would have been Darwin award material had I managed to remove myself from the gene pool. So let's start.

It had been snowing all day. So me and my mates decided, as sensible 21 year olds, to get my mate A's, for that is his initial, one man sled, find a decent sized hill, and prat around. There were three of us, me, A, and C. We found a good sized hill, which has two slopes, making it very suitable, but with only one small problem. It had a small fenced off area at the bottom of it, which was filled with a small kiddy playground. So we figure "Ah sod it, we'll just steer around the fenced off bit."

How wrong we were.

We also figured that we would be a three man bobsleigh team. On a sled that resembles a bodyboard with a lip around the edge. Please note that we hadn't been drinking at all, and were all sober. So we plan our three man team. C would be at the front, as he wanted to be, A would be in the middle as he's the heaviest, and yours truly would be at the back as I'm the lightest. We proceed to do a few runs. We're off to a shaky start, as we keep hitting bumps and bailing, often with A landing on my legs and trapping my ankles in the sled whilst the rest of me is getting dragged along behind.

Here's where the fun starts. After a few runs, we finally get the hang of things, and are now working as a team. So we try another run, but this one is different. I manage to give us a decent push-off, better than I had before, and we're now speeding down the first slope of the hill at a fair rate of knots. We hit the first bump, and all of us manage to stay in. However, this bump has now caused us to speed up. We head down the second slope even faster than we have done before, and here's where we realise something very, very important.

We have no way of steering, or braking.

Whoops.

We see the fenced off area approaching us rather rapidly. I have enough time to begin to yell something along the lines of "FUUUUUCK!" before we crash into the fence. C is immediately thrown into the fence, A is thrown clear, and me? I was catapulted into C's body and partly the top of the fence. If I had been thrown any higher, I'd've gone flying into the playground area and I don't know what the outcome of that would have been.

So, understandably, we are a bit shaken up, and decide to go on the gentler slope off to the side of the big beast for a few runs. Our first run, A decides he wants to give us a boost, and does so, and then bails, leaving me and C to go down the hill. As we whoop and holler about successfully going down the hill without crashing, we see something up ahead in the distance.

It can be summed up as this: "WOOOOO FUCK YEAH!.... GOALPOSTS! ARRRRRGH!"

Yes, it was still snowing, and on a white field with white snow falling, we had neglected to see the white goalposts. So we did what any sane people would do. Hang onto the sled and start screeching at the top of our lungs. Thankfully we narrowly missed them, although if we'd hit them, we would have been in a lot of trouble.

Apologies for length, but it feels good.
(Ghost Atreides enjoying incontestable health benefits on, Sat 14 Feb 2009, 19:23, 2 replies)

click!
good read,

cheers matey!
( SpankyHanky, Sat 14 Feb 2009, 19:34, closed)

Any time man
I aim to please. Even if it does injure me.
(Ghost Atreides enjoying incontestable health benefits on, Sat 14 Feb 2009, 19:51, closed)