Motorway madness
Whenever I don't win the lottery I always console myself with having used up a massive chunk of my life's allocated luck all in one go.

I was driving back to Edinburgh on the M8 one afternoon. As it was my boss's car I was obviously making good progress ... to the tune of maybe 120 - 125mph. In the distance I spotted a BMW sitting in the outside lane but despite the inside lane being empty it showed no sign of pulling in. As I fast approached I flashed it a couple of times but to no avail, there it sat.

Never mind I thought, I'm not slowing down, I'll take it in the inside. As I flew past I looked over to eyeball the driver. There she sat in her own wee world, completely oblivious to anything going on round about her. Needless to say I quickly tried to catch her eye with various manual gestures of a less than polite nature.

Of course rule number one is never take your eyes of the road when driving, shall we say, so enthusiastically and I was just about to find out why. When I looked back the traffic in front had ground to a halt in the approach to the Newbridge roundabout and here's me careering toward the stationary queue at well, well into triple figures.

Cue extreme braking and snaking all over both carriageways. I managed to scrub of some speed down to about 90 but it was obvious there was no way on God's green earth I was going to stop in time and the way I had fishtailed about the road precluded me from taking the hard shoulder option so I bounced and clattered right across the central reservation and on down the wrong side of the motorway.

Fortunately, and here's where my luck came in, there was nothing whatsoever coming in the opposite direction as I passed the long queue to my left. Eventually after about 2 or 3 hundred yards I had slowed enough to dart back across and take up a space very briefly vacated as a car pulled away from in front of a coach.

About a year later the highways agency took it upon themselves to erect Armco barriers right down full length of the central reservation.

Lucky it hadn't been in place at the time. I probably wouldn't be typing this.
( Ramsay Tupper, Mon 16 Feb 2009, 15:12, 6 replies)

Christ.
*Click*

I once drove my boss's Audi RS6 and it was extremly scary. I am not a fast driver at all and I am very comfortable in the slow steady inside lane. However when I drove it I found myself obliviously going 130mph.
(powervator and NONE SHALL PASS, Mon 16 Feb 2009, 15:17, closed)

Yeah,
have a click in the cunt for being a big enough bawbag to not only nearly kill yourself, but to endanger the lives of many other people.

Yay for dangerous drivers.








Oops, i may need a hand down from my high horse..
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Mon 16 Feb 2009, 15:29, closed)

^^
Seconded

It's pricks like you that cause the crashes on the roads that devastate lives.

Wanker

@Cancer, after they help you down send them my way please...
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Mon 16 Feb 2009, 16:01, closed)

I'm calling bullshit on this one
You made it across the central reservation's kerbs *at speed* without damaging a thing? No suspension damage, no tracking knocked out, no tyres damaged? Hardly likely to get away without any of that.

We'll also ignore the fact that the M8's always had a crash barrier down the central reservation. It is a motorway, after all.
(dxg, Mon 16 Feb 2009, 21:46, closed)

You can believe what you like mate
... but I should have said this was about 20 odd years ago and I can assure you there were no crash barriers back then .... and down toward the roundabout (after sports car breakers on the left and under the bridge where the railway runs over the motorway) the central res was level with the road, so no kerbs or raised sections, just stoney and grassy. So if you're not inclined to believe me, well that's your prerogative but I know what happened.

And by the way people I'm not particularly proud of this episode. I post it in response to a QOTW specifically regarding stupidity and how you've survived it. I don't do that type of thing anymore.
( Ramsay Tupper, Tue 17 Feb 2009, 8:26, closed)

No offence to the high-horse brigade
But this guy obviously made a stupid mistake and managed to get away with it without devastating lives. He was stupid not drunk or incapacitated.

I'd imagine this episode stopped anythnig similar happening in his life again!
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Tue 17 Feb 2009, 10:12, closed)