Quite a few really
Lets start at the start

My Grandad who died of Throat cancer when I was 13, He looked like an empty shell, there was nothing left of the man I knew and I was glad he was no longer in pain.

My Neighbor who hung herself aged 13 as "growing up wasn't any fun" that one messed me up good and proper for a while
cue therapy

My best mate in a car crash, I was driving and we hit a puddle on a corner, aquaplaned off the road and in the ensuing carnage broke his neck, He was to be frank in a fucking mess.
The crash wasn't my fault, the council had resurfaced the road and blocked the drainage
But for years I felt guilty for being alive and embarked on a huge live fast die young spree.
It was only when his Mother took me to one side and asked me not to waste my life because Simon isn't here. Cue rehab, AA and therapy (again)

I had a few death free years then until my wifes grandmother died a few days before Christmas sat in her chair watching the telly she looked peaceful.

In a perverse way I have no fear of death anymore, it just happens
(Barry Chuckle has gone out in the thong to feed the pigeons, Thu 28 Feb 2008, 11:26, 1 reply)

I lost my best mate too...
and for a while I felt guilty for being alive...before understanding, just as you did, that death is a necessary part of life.

I tried to let the world know that he would not be forgotten in my post...

that you felt the need to throw pot-shots at...

These pages should show you that you're not the only one to lose loved ones.
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Fri 29 Feb 2008, 20:09, closed)