The Night Of Sex And Death
New Year's Eve 1995 was notable. I was visiting my family in Albuquerque, New Mexico, USA, and took the opportunity to visit a strip club called the 'Ice House'. It was a frolicsome good time, but very frustrating after several hours of persistent sexual titillation at the hands of buxom maidens. In search of simpler pleasures, I left before midnight and went back to my family's home and walked my dog Sparky instead.

We were walking along a dark boulevard about 11:45 p.m., when suddenly a racing engine thundered in the distance. A pickup truck inexplicably careened off the street, rolled out-of-control across a no-man's-land, and then plunged into an empty ditch. Sparky and I ran to see if we could help.

Arriving first at the scene, I scrambled into the dark ditch, opened the driver's-side door of the pickup truck, looked inside, and saw - nothing at all. No one appeared to be in the vehicle. Where did the driver go? I could hear a distinct mechanical gurgling that I attributed to coolant escaping from the shattered truck's radiator. I decided to check the passenger side of the vehicle.

Different story over there. What happened was, the driver, who had fallen asleep at the wheel (as I learned later, apparently after just one New Year's Eve beer), had gone halfway through the windshield upon the collision, and had fallen backwards, catching his throat on the broken glass and slashing him from ear to ear. He had then fallen under the passenger-side glove compartment (which is why I hadn't seen him at first). The gurgling sound I heard was his last bloody breath. And there was blood EVERYWHERE!

The victim was labeled by the local news media as the first Albuquerque fatality of 1995, but I knew he was the last Albuquerque fatality of 1994. Poor guy - age 18, he had been married just one week. Life is unfair. No sexual frustration had he, I'm sure, but then he was cursed with a low tolerance for alcohol. Laid, but not alive, whereas I am the opposite.
(Perv With A Dog had his eyes pecked out by scrub jays on, Tue 4 Mar 2008, 9:34, 7 replies)

Nicely told
All the people going on about "what a crap QOTW this is" should read answers like this. Yes it's not funny (whoever said a QOTW answer has to be funny?), but it's well written and moving.

Well done!
(MrC. Having the most boring username on b3ta since 2004, Tue 4 Mar 2008, 10:58, closed)

hmm
I read that as "wanked my dog Spanky instead"...
( scoshi pretending to diet since, Tue 4 Mar 2008, 11:42, closed)

Ok,
yeah, so did I!
(MrC. Having the most boring username on b3ta since 2004, Tue 4 Mar 2008, 12:04, closed)

Umm, no. Life is not unfair.
This was not fate cruelly snatching away life. This was an idiot who didn't wear his seatbelt, and was clearly in no fit state to drive, who paid for it dearly.
(Musuko, Tue 4 Mar 2008, 14:20, closed)

Musoko
Oh do be quiet
(theweapon never ever bloody anything ever, Tue 4 Mar 2008, 21:02, closed)

ooooo
I have loads of family in Albq.


that's all I've got....sorry
( flirting with badgers What? It sounded good at the time., Wed 5 Mar 2008, 3:22, closed)

Tolerance
The low tolerance for alcohol was a bit of a tradgedy, the low tolerance for seatbelts doesn't get any sympathy.
(Grey_Ghost has yet to decide on a sig on, Wed 5 Mar 2008, 14:12, closed)