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This is a question Desperate Times

Stranded in a hotel in an African war zone with no internet access for two weeks, I was forced to resort to desperate measures. Possessing only my passport and the clothes I stood up in; and the warning "You can catch it shaking hands with a vicar out there" ringing in my ears, I had to draw my own porn in order to preserve my sanity.

Alas, it all came out looking like Coronation Street's Audrey Roberts, but, as they say, any port in a storm.

What have you done in times of great desperation?

(, Thu 15 Nov 2007, 10:10)
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Oh god just remembered another
what with reading the post below from Red Morning Light about dropping a ticket in the toilet. Again it's in Ghana. I was living at a host family and we only had one toilet for about ten people, and since there was no running water it was decided that it should only be flushed when a poo has been done, and wee should just sit so that you dont have to go to the well every time.

Now, my phone had been nicked so I got a cheapass replacement, some old Samsung I think with a flippy thing that covered the keys. It was atrocious but did the jobs required (ie. ring, text and in this case torch). After an afternoon off at the bar I got home in the dark (power cut) and so used the phone as a torch. To do this I had to flip the lid thing and press a key. And this is where it happened. It snapped off and landed in the loo. That was full of 9 other peoples' piss. At first, I panicked. It was lost! I'd accidentally call people all day! Should I flush and then fish it out? No, it would flush away. Should I get a black person to do it for me? No that's just rude.

So I did what anyone would do. I put my (left) arm in up to my elbow and fished the fucker out. The feeling of warm piss on your skin is quite remarkably disgusting, especially when you think of how many people have gone before you. I can honestly say I felt really, really sick doing this, and thought about it long enough and would have taken longer if some cnut hadn't been knocking on the door in desperation themselves.

Needless to say first thing i did was to run out, get water and a lot of soap. Luckily didn't have any cuts or anything, so I assume I don't have any horrific diseases. I washed my hands for about half an hour and wasted a lot of water but I didn't care and would have been willing to pay for it had it not been for their endless fits of laughter. I washed the plastic cover thing for a fair while as well, and it fit again perfectly. Bastard!

To this day I'm not sure if it was worth it.

length? It had an extendable "aerial", made me look like someone off Miami Vice or something with the old brick phones
(, Sun 18 Nov 2007, 2:21, Reply)

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