OAP ENTERTAINMENT ENTREPRENEUR
I was a SAGA rep - with literally hundreds of the moaning old bastards cooped up in University accomodation for two weeks at a time.
Now that sounds really hellish (and at times it was see below) but it was also easy pickings because SAGA paid you crap weekly money but expected you to offer entertainment for the old dears and in return you kept all the profits.
I was rolling in it - even the city tour charged at 50p each made a 375 pound profit and this was in 1976. Other trips to Highland Games, music hall events made similar dosh and this was a two-week repeating programme with a different influx of crones arriving each other Sunday.
Still it wasn't all simple - hassles to be confronted included keeping from jail the 75 year old hubby who severely beat up a 82 year old peeping tom who thought that watching the former's wife removing her bloomers to pee was the height of eroticism (uni-sex cubical toilets!), the daily fight over who was to be at the picture window at the front of the bus (with a near riot when I put a woman with a broken leg at the front in the prized seats - there was no compassion in these wrinklies), the mass ranks queueing for everything at least 30 minutes before necessary, regular calls to the ambulance service for the early morning heart attack cases (one a month) and, for me anyway, worst of all, having to search for a missing pair of false teeth in a huge laundry bag of geriatric clothes which smelled exactly how you would guess it would.
I don't want to get old - it sucks and when I eventually get there I'm not going to trust any young cunt who says he wants to help.
I promise you - Dignitas and a first class flight to Switzerland is far better than the grumpy selfish misanthrope you will slowly evolve into otherwise.
(beaverwastemanagement a real company. I want to work for them!, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 11:02, Reply)