aye we've all been there mate.
This will get you out of work. When the boss isnt at his desk email him:

Dear Boss,

This is very difficult to write and is extremely sensitive and embarassing and I hope it will never be brought up again. But as you may have noticed Im not feeling too well today. I went to the bathroom earlier to be sick, but sadly at the same time I managed to expell from the rear also. Obviously due to the mess I cannot resume work today so have gone home.

I should be back tomorrow ith a fresh pair of underwear and trousers, and I hope that you will understand the embarssment and sensitivity of this issue by never mentioning it to me.

Thank you,



Then fuck off home. Next day everything is normal. Only drawback is is that boss will think youve shat yourself. But ah well if it does come out then just play double fool and say you were fucking hungover and wanted to go home.
(Miggyman, Thu 17 Jul 2008, 11:34, Reply)