My mad arse Granddad
Was quite the bastard, but that is a horse of a different colour.

At last count he had 5 sprogs (all married), 12 grand-sprogs (all in some stage of marriage/divorce or on/off de-facto-hood) and 18 great-grand-sprogs.

One mighty Clan-Gathering Christmas, there happened to be three pregnant women present. The poor old bugger was surrounded by sprogs, grandsprogs, lots of their spouses and great grandsproglets.

He loudly interjected in the spirited conversation about possible baby names for the three imminent additions to his already mighty brood with the following classic line:

"RIGHT! That's it! There are too damn many of you. I can't be having with remembering all these bloody names at my time of life. So henceforth I do declare that any female decendants of mine will be addressed as MAUD and any males will be addressed as HAROLD!"

And so it was. Luckily, none of us actually have the misfortune to be called Maud or Harold. So at every Clan gathering ever since, Granddad makes no attempt to remember your name. He just shouts "MAUD" or "HAROLD" at his nearest (great)grandsprog and sends the unfortunate child to fetch him another beer.
(Que?, Tue 25 Nov 2008, 5:20, 9 replies)

Seems fair enough.
I have a hard time remembering my students' names, especially at the start of the year. Thus they are all magically called Bernard.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Tue 25 Nov 2008, 9:18, closed)

Blackadder / Nursey Reference...?

Or dare I say it...a cap-doff to the dire, drivvle-ridden cheesefest that is my bad salad sad ballad?

...or...just a random name you thought of? :(
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Tue 25 Nov 2008, 11:05, closed)

I think ...
it's a reference to King Harold and Empress Maud. Him what got his arse whipped by William the Conqueror.
(Que?, Wed 26 Nov 2008, 4:27, closed)

Great film
www.imdb.com/title/tt0067185/


Hal Ashby also made 'Being There' with Peter Sellers - another great flick.
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Tue 25 Nov 2008, 9:34, closed)

Thank you!
That makes more sense than my Granddad's loose grip on history.
(Que?, Wed 26 Nov 2008, 4:28, closed)

Are we related?
Or is using the name Maud some kind of standard convention?

http://www.b3ta.com/questions/familycodes/post309042
(Vice Admiral Sir Charles Cockbrush KCB MBE DSO, who is finding it increasingly difficult to log into b3ta.com wants to duck your aunt and kick your puppy, Tue 25 Nov 2008, 9:38, closed)

Dad!!
When did you get parole?
(Que?, Wed 26 Nov 2008, 4:24, closed)

when i was at school
sometimes i'd go on week-long courses away (you know CCF that kinda thing) and there'd be maybe 200 other people. everyone, male or female, became "chris" to me. it worked a treat, until i found a bloke called chris and decided he could be "stan". sadly "stan" was not amused. his loss, we all thought it was great :)
(zenmeban thinks the weather could be better, Tue 25 Nov 2008, 10:45, closed)

i might have to suggest this
to my grandad.
it would save a lot of awkward moments.
(MrChimp previously Monsieur, Tue 25 Nov 2008, 17:42, closed)