Another Street War (after being reminded of this by Bad_Advice's post below)
When I was a young teen I used to hang around with about 15-20 kids in a place called Treboeth in Swansea. We were all fairly quiet and nice kids, but because of the sheer number of us we were feared by the neighbours and regularly harrased by the local bobbies. The simple fact was that we had nowhere to go, so we ended up just playing football in the streets and keeping ourselves to ourselves.

Well, most of us did. One kid, who I'll just refer to as "Twat" (as he most certainly was one) used to follow us about and annoy the fuck out of everyone. To make matters worse, he started doing petty vandalism which got to the attention of the bobbies again after he damaged a roof of a local primary school entrance (costing the school over £2k in repairs it said in the local paper). We had a guts full of the twat, and one day it happened.

Twat lived in a house with his parents and an older sister, along with a quiet younger brother who was stone cock-eyed. The dad and youngest son were in fairness great, as the youngest didn't know any different as opposed to the dad who knew enough to be laid back in any situation. The Twat, his sis and his mum however were complete fuckwits and were always involving themselves in other people's business.

One evening, outside Twat's house, the aforementioned Twat was standing outside his house and shouting abuse at us across the road with his mum and sister present. We'd taken a disliking to him a while before this but since the roof incident we'd ousted him from our group and didn't want to know the little cunt anymore. He's shouting abuse at me and a few friends, and I was gradually getting more and more angry. He shouted something ridiculous to me which I repled with "Oh fuck up you undeveloped sperm."

"Come and say that to my face you prick!" says he.

I can take 'im thinks I, so I start walking upto his house. In front of his house was a hedge however, and sneaking behind it was another of our friends who'd taken enough abuse as he could handle and was just out of sight of Twat. Just as Twat walked passed the hedge to confront me it happened. One out of nowhere body punch had Twat collapsed on the floor gasping for air, then all hell broke loose. The mum and sis rushed forward, lamping all of us kids out as they were built like brick shithouses and they target one poor kid called Chris. The mum held him fast as the sister drilled him. One rather excited lad called "Blaena" (as he originated from a particularly rough area called Blaen-y-Maes) run in with half a bush he just ripped out of their garden and started twatting the mum with it while screaming "LEAVE MY FRIEND ALONE!!!!"

The dad and younger brother in fairness literally just sat by their front door smiling and watching his wife fight us kids, some of which stopped fighting and walked over to have a chat with them mid-fight. "Sorry we're fighting your wife and kids sir" we said to him, and he genuinely smiled and said "As long as no-one gets seriously hurt, get it out of your system kids". The guy's a legend :)

5 minutes into this fight and the bobbies turn up, with 2 police cars and a riot van. We all scarper into a friends house on the edge of the estate and pretend to watch Brookside with his mum. A bobby knocks on the door to ask us if we'd seen anything, to which his mum says "Nah, they've been watching Brooky with me while waiting for my son to get ready to go out. Bye officer." Turn's out she hated the Twat too :)

Apols for length, but LEAVE MY FRIEND ALONE!!!!!
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 9:28, 2 replies)

Wahoo, A non-depressing one!
Nice story, although I don't understand why anyone would want to celebrate the fact that they or any of their family members originates from Blaen-y-Maes. I walked through there once and almost got mugged (for my shoes, no less).
(ConanTroutman thought we would free the vulture, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 10:06, closed)

When I was a nipper
I did get mugged there by two kids, for me mum's cigarrette money no less.

Although in fairness when their dad found out we had the money back and they had the beating of a lifetime :)
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 10:12, closed)