* PFFT *I've been pretty farty all week, but 2 large helpings of sausage and lentil stew last night have really tipped things over the edge. I swear you can see these ones.
I'm here at work trying to hold them in so I (a) don't have to keep nipping to the loo like a madman and (b) don't gas half the office, but it's becoming increasingly difficult. I might rupture something if I'm not careful.
Tell us all about your own fartiness.
(
chthonic, Fri 13 Jul 2007, 14:01)
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I was at a museum one time...yes, a museum--DEADLY quiet--when this old man of about 75 walks up to the same display I'm looking at. Okay, fine, whatever.
Out of the corner of my eye, I see him get this intense look of concentration and concern. With his brow furrowed, lips pressed tightly together, and (I swear) beads of sweat forming on his wrinkly old forehead, he suddenly stops. His eyes grow wide and his mouth falls slack.
"BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRT!" says his butt. His high-waisted flannel pants do nothing to muffle the sound now echoing through the otherwise silent exhibit hall, nor the smell that could only be described as egg salad that has been forgotten in the backseat of a car that was parked outside in the sunshine in August and left for two weeks. Yes, it was that bad.
He turns to me, beaming, his eyes almost squeezed shut because he's smiling so big.
Never in my life have I sprinted to a women's bathroom so fast.
Too bad my gag reflex beat me, though.
(, Fri 13 Jul 2007, 15:56, Reply)
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