What is it with work toilets????
The humble work toilet has to be one of the most abused items ever devised by man.
In a company of supposedly intelligent people, ours are disgusting.
We have approx 150 people on our floor, 95% are blokes.
One well-travelled colleague advised that he had seen cleaner toilets in Turkey.

We have suggested to HR that the question "Do you know how to crap in a toilet properly?" be added to the employment application form or at least be asked in the interview.

Why? For these reasons:
- footprints on the seat
- toilet paper everywhere except in the bowl
- pee everywhere, and I mean EVERYWHERE
- shit, snot, and other unidentified things smeared on the walls
- sinks blocked up with all sorts of unmentionables
- gobbing on the floor.

We have had several Phantom Shitters.
Solid or liquid shit engulfing the cubicle, in one case it seeped under the partition wall and into the Ladies.
They had their own one for a while - She used to smear shit over the cubicle walls, then lock the door and climb out under it.

After one such nasty discovery I emailed the floor at length, waxing long about the evil I would commit upon the person if I was ever fortunate to discover who they were. 10 other people added their own personalised threats. Finally our manager added "I wholeheartedly endorse the views expressed above."

Even with the demise of the last PS some years ago, the toilets are in such a deplorable state that I use the ones on the ground or first floors instead.
So do a lot of the other old hands.
As I spotted one lad getting into the lift after he had just patronised the ground floor toilets, I waited until the doors began to close and then said "Gerard's been in the toilet doing POOS!"
Kinda awkward trip that was for him.....
(Sebulba continues to fight evil with evil....., Fri 3 Feb 2012, 8:10, 3 replies)

I'm going out on a limb here
But was the company in sales? Like, phone sales and targets and all that?
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 8:42, closed)

always use the disabled if you can.
it's like a fortress of silence.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 10:47, closed)

Once at worker a 'phantom shitter' unleashed a voluminous, orange coloured horror that soon became known as 'Ginger Richard'
It was massive. I mean MASSIVE. Untold attempts were made to flush it but none could shift it. I imagine it was suggested that someone try to prod it round the U-bend with a bogbrush, but volunteers were in short supply.
We even asked the night cleaners if they could get rid of it and were told 'Fuck off, I'm a cleaner, not a plumber.'
It doesn't matter where you work, there's always one.
(FartThroughAWalkieTalkie wished you were dead in ditch on, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 12:18, closed)